Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World. Volume. 9.
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‘FRAGMENTS:- REM NATSUKI.’
Sub-chapter 1.
A loud, crying voice echoed under the clear, blue sky.
It was the crying voice of a baby girl. Already she was crying with all her heart and soul.
Displaying emotions with every bit of available strength was a privilege reserved for babes. As he embraced that sentiment, he was shocked with himself, for it was not the thought of the young.
“So this is longing for youth… Maybe I should cry like Spica and return to the innocence of childhood?”
“If an adult acts like that on a public street, there’s nothing I can do to help, you know?!”
When Subaru, feeling the weight of his years, made that murmur, the boy beside him played the straight man. Upon that exchange, the baby in Subaru’s arms—the girl named Spica—took a deep, deep breath and went, “Aa—!!”
“Whoa! Spica’s crying! Hey, uh, Rigel, you’re her older brother! Do something!”
“You say that, but the fact you yourself aren’t doing anything about it is a lot worse!”
The two males of the household batted responsibility back in forth with the baby between them.
The uproar attracted the attention of nearby pedestrians, but when they saw which three people were making the ruckus, they all thought, Same as usual, and promptly lost interest. As a result, the crying baby girl and the two caretakers remained as they were.
Subaru, dead center amid that noisy, passingly amusing scene, covered his face with a hand.
“So we have a little girl crying like this, and not a single person offers a lifeboat… Shit, have people’s hearts hardened that much?!”
“This ain’t the time to philosophize about the world! At this rate she’s gonna give us a lecture when she gets back…”
“When who gets back, Rigel?”
“Well, that’s obvio—”
The young man named Rigel cut off his words there as he looked over his shoulder in shock. Subaru went, “Ohh” as he followed Rigel’s gaze, raising his eyebrows as he arrived at the figure standing behind him.
“Done with your shopping?”
“Yes, there were no problems… It seems things did not go so well for you.”
“Nah, Spica’s super lively. This one’s growing up to be the type who runs all around and keeps men wrapped around her finger. She’ll grow into a little devil before you know it. My heart’s all aflutter. I can’t wait!”
As Subaru flapped his lips, Spica, the girl he held in his arms, extended a little hand toward the woman standing there who was no larger than a leaf. Subaru desolately realized she seemed to be saying, Change me.
“Well, all that being said, we can’t have her crying again. With that, I’ll leave her to you.”
“Yes, leave her to me.”
Though his tone remained mischievous, Subaru handed the baby over with exceptional gentleness. The woman made a charming little smile as she took Spica, handling her like a precious treasure. Then she hugged Spica snugly against her chest, gently rocking the baby’s body to put her at ease.
“Yes, Father and Big Brother are helpless, aren’t they? Spica, you need to grow up soon so you can give them the proper scolding they deserve.”
“Hey now, she can’t understand words yet, so can we not give her the special tutoring?”
An image of the future came to mind: his mischief being followed by her and Spica sandwiching him, hands on their hips in a pronounced huff. That scene, with them angry at him and Rigel both, was just—
“Er, now that I think of it, that’s not as bad as I thought, it’s really not! If anything, it comes off as one hell of a happy image of the future, doesn’t it?”
“Leave me out of it. Having a little sister angry at me makes me look bad as an older brother.”
“Well, it wouldn’t make you look bad if you’re lumped in with me. Your future… I can see it, I can see it…! Too soft to the little sister you like too much, kept under her thumb forever…you will be the Siscon King!!”
“Hey, you’re the one who’s wrapped around a woman’s finger! I’ll never, ever be like that!”
Subaru wagged his finger to fan the flames; a vein bulged on Rigel’s forehead as he protested. But Rigel’s statement made the blue-haired woman holding Spica knit her brows together.
“Rigel—what is this manner of talking you’ve been using outside? It’s intolerable,” she said.
“Uh, but, I mean…”
“Mother hates hearing but and I mean. Besides, your earlier words are mistaken.”
As Rigel hemmed and hawed, she scolded him without mercy; then she pressed her lips to Spica’s cheek and spoke.
“Mother does not have Father wrapped around her finger. After all, Father is always Mother’s Number One.”
Her cheeks reddened as she uttered something far more embarrassing than a baby crying on a public street.
This time, confronted with a mother able to say that out loud, Rigel raised both hands in abject surrender. Even Subaru couldn’t do anything but awkwardly scratch a cheek.
The reactions from her beloved family sent her happily passing a hand through her long hair.
The stroke left Rem’s hair, blue and pretty like the sky, swaying gently in the wind.
Sub-chapter 2.
In a corner of Banan City, part of the city-state of Kararagi, Subaru sat on a bench at the corner of a public park dotted with playgrounds, gazing absentmindedly at affairs inside the park.
Directly in front of him, Rigel, his blue hair combed backward and spiky, was running around the public park, having fun with his friends. He might be cheeky to his own father, but he was an adorable kid, as befitted his age.
“Now if only we could do something about those awful serial killer eyes…”
“We will do nothing of the sort. That nasty look is part of who Rigel is. No matter how much fun he has, no matter how joyful he may be, his face will still make first acquaintances flinch with discomfort—that’s our Rigel.”
“Hey, I can hear you. And Mom, your attempt to help hurt even more, you know?!”
Rigel was caught and frozen in a game of freeze tag—passed down by Subaru himself—as he raised his voice in anger. Subaru and Rem both waved to their adorable son, seemingly to fan the flames like a proper husband and wife.
The foul, vein-bulging look of dissatisfaction on Rigel’s face made him a dead ringer for a young Subaru.
“In other words, I can already expect his future to go something like mine. I’d be in shock too if I were him… I mean, in twenty years he’s gonna turn into me.”
“Would that not mean…a future where he marries a valiant wife, skilled in cooking and capable of all domestic affairs, who is also a wonderful and ideal bride?”
“Hey, what’s that normie sellout garbage about? That can go jump in a… Wait, you meant me!”
When Subaru put a hand against his head and stuck out his tongue, Rem couldn’t keep herself from sighing a little.
“If you don’t deny it even a little, your wife will get carried away from being smothered in praise.”
“What this about smothering you in praise? It’s just the truth. I seriously am a real-life sellout.”
If Subaru were seriously trying to kill her with flattery, he would go much, much further. But they were in a public park in broad daylight. If he started saying sweet nothings to her, the idle chatter around them would drown out everything else. That wasn’t such a bad thing, but he wanted to fully enjoy the moment.
His son was playing; his wife was gently holding their baby daughter. Subaru felt like falling asleep beside them. Sitting beside her was somehow making Subaru sleepy.
“Er…”
“If you wish to sleep, I will lend you my shoulder. Spica has monopolized my arms, after all.”
When he opened one eye, he found that his head had come to rest on Rem’s shoulder as they sat side by side. With Rem so close, he could smell her sweet scent and feel her warmth. Subaru’s cheeks slackened as he looked Spica’s way.
She had her father’s black hair and her mother’s adorable face. Her life was innocent, delicate, and so very lovely.
“Damn you, Spica. Beloved daughter you may be, you’re one frightening schemer, taking over my holy ground like that.”
“My breasts are occupied until evening, so please wait.”
“Right now, we’re in a park in the middle of the day, so we’d better watch what we say, you know…”
When Subaru’s eyes bulged at the audacious statement, the woman who had said it turned beet red.
“Man, my family’s super adorable.”
“Because you love them all each and every day.”
Their gazing at each other made him feel funny, so Subaru accepted Rem’s offer and rested his head on her shoulder. The feel of her blue hair brushing against him felt amazingly good, making Subaru rub his face against it without thinking about it.
“Someone wants to be tickled.”
“Ah, sorry, it just felt sooo good. I’ll just learn from Spica and behave. Rigel can be the only one who can’t calm down. Wow, Rigel’s such a little kid!”
“I can hear you, stupid dad! Don’t compare me to you!”
“Rigel, your sister is sleeping, so please be considerate.”
“It just ain’t fair!”
The still-frozen Rigel shouted at the absurdity, but no one in the family backed him up. Adding to his woes, no one came to rescue Rigel from his frozen state. He was in quite an isolated position.
Though he resembled Subaru in appearance and mannerisms, the surrounding children did not tease him about that, which Subaru thought was incredibly kind on their part, but…
“You can’t turn out like that, Spica! Only Big Bro acting like that is enough. Well, you take after Mother, so your future is bright. I only pray you don’t get caught by a no-good man like me.”
“There is no substitute for you. My darling is the greatest in the whole world.”
Subaru gave a strained smile at Rem’s enthusiastic seal of approval. Silence fell between them for a time; but this was not an uncomfortable silence in any way. With the sun’s rays behind them, he gazed wistfully at his son being teased by his friends as he cuddled up to his wife, holding their daughter in her arms, and rested—it was a sweet, happy time.
“—Subaru.”
The abrupt calling of Subaru’s name made him open his closed eyes. When he glanced upward, Rem’s clear, light-blue eyes were gazing into his. Her moist eyes loosened Subaru’s tongue.
“…It’s been a while since you’ve called me that. It’s been ‘darling’ and ‘Father’ for ages.”
“—”
The words Subaru spoke upon waking made Rem purse her trembling lips.
He was looking at the face Rem had often worn several years ago, right after they ran away. Subaru could tell even when Rem tried to hide it. After all, he’d always had his eyes on her.
Bathed by the wind, Subaru narrowed his eyes. It had been Rem who’d invited him on a family outing that day. He’d guessed that she had a reason for that. After all—
“Today…it’s been eight years since that day, huh?”
“…You noticed?”
“Well, to me…no, to us, that was the day everything changed, right? It’s not that I noticed or remembered, it’s that I can’t forget—there’s no way can I forget.”
It was the day he had submitted to fate, the day he had thrown everything away and fled with Rem.
It was a day when he’d meant to give everything up, but there was one thing only he hadn’t given up on.
On that day he’d had her love—and the Subaru sitting there existed thanks to that.
“Subaru, do you…?”
Rem had consciously stopped calling him by that familiar name since they’d fled to Kararagi. It was no doubt a ritual by which she’d left their old lives behind.
All that time, Subaru hadn’t asked her to divulge the true intent behind it, nor had Rem told Subaru on her own. As for what led her to depart from the ritual she had continued for so long, that was—
“…regret it?”
“Regret?”
“Yes, that you ran away. That you gave up. That you threw everything away. That you—”
“If you’re gonna say, picked me, I’m gonna be ultra mad. I’ll grab Rigel and Spica and head back home right now! Ah, nah, I’ll leave Rigel here.”
He saw that Rigel was giving him a foul look, but Subaru spoke anyway—“Mother and I are having an important discussion”—thrusting his son’s concerns into a bottomless pit. “Now look here,” he said afterward, turning back toward Rem as he spoke. “That’s quite something to ask all of a sudden after eight years, and I’m not sure how many dozens or hundreds of times saying this is gonna help, but…”
“Yes.”
“I love you the most in the whole world. You’re the only bride for me, and I’m the only man for you. You’re not a cheap woman…a guy like me doesn’t settle for someone like you.”
As they gazed at one another, Subaru’s fingertip gave Rem’s forehead a light flick. Then he drew close to the surprised girl’s face and spoke.
“It’s like I swore that day. I’m yours through and through. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll give anything to you. I live for you alone— Well, nowadays I have to add our kids to that.”
With Rem’s eyes closed, he crinkled his nose and stole a kiss from her lips.
A smile came over Subaru just from the touch of their lips and being close enough to feel her breath. No matter how many years passed, that childish mischievousness of his always stayed the same.
“Can’t you stop worrying now?”
“…I am sorry. I always worry. I mean, I love you more and more, Subaru. Even though I keep thinking…there can never be a happier time than this…I become happier and happier. I love, I rejoice, and so I worry.”
Tears appeared in Rem’s eyes. She shook her head a little, even as she professed her own happiness. After shaking her head, she touched her cheek to Subaru’s, allowing their mutual warmth to flow between them as she spoke.
“I worry that you’ll go away, and I won’t be able to touch you like this anymore.”
“Relax. I’m not leaving your side and I’m not going away. As long as you love me, I’m never pulling away from you.”
“My love for you will never run out, Subaru—”
“We’ll be together forever, then. I love you, Rem.”
Rem didn’t know what to do with her own feelings as Subaru kissed her again.
Frozen in surprise, she sank deep inside herself as their hot tongues intertwined once more. When she felt his tongue depart, savoring the sensation of his saliva on her front teeth, her breath was slightly ragged when Subaru continued, “Don’t make me say stupid stuff like maybe I settled for you in the first place. So what then? Instead of love for Rigel and Spica I should pity them? Spica’s the crystallization of our love all according to plan, and Rigel’s the kid born from our youth and burning love running wild.”
“…It was quite a time when Rigel was born.”
When Subaru put a hand on his hip and lectured her, Rem smiled softly as she looked back at him, reminiscing.
“Even though we needed to find a house and a job here in Kararagi and set up a calm, stable life…”
“Well, um, hey, we were young, so we couldn’t just hold off.”
“And even though you were tired from work, you became very energetic in the evening, Subaru.”
“Er, um, hey, when you’re young you have energy to spare, right?”
“I got pregnant almost at the same time as getting full-time work, so my head was pretty much a haze at the time…”
“A man really doesn’t like acknowledging the so-called mistakes of his youth…”
Subaru deeply felt Rem’s vigorous counterattack as he gazed into the distance and murmured. On the other end, Rigel grimaced at being treated like Subaru’s mistake, but he apparently read the mood and refrained from intruding. Not bad for a son of his.
“Well, um, I was happy, too. When you told me, at first I had just a little bit of blood dripping from my nose, and then when I tried to check if it was a dream or not, it was actually bleeding from after you slugged me…”
Rem had lost her temper a fair bit, too, so the haymaker punch he’d received had sent him crashing into the wall with enough force to make their temporary residence tilt. It had been bad enough he had resigned himself to possibly experiencing Return by Death once again after a long hiatus.
At any rate, Subaru was able to recall every detail of when Rem had informed him of her pregnancy, including the warm feelings welling up in his chest at the time…
However, Rem responded to Subaru’s words with a shake of her head.
“You are mistaken. My happiness is likely a different happiness from yours. What I think of happiness is…happiness that I did not have to lose you, Subaru.”
“—”
“Rigel is the tangible bond born between Subaru and Rem. It may be a poor way to say it, but a child born between us firmly tied you to me so that you would never leave my side… That made me happy.”
Perhaps he’d been leaning on her ever since those days of uncertainty.
He’d thrown away anything and everything until that point, the two of them fleeing to a new land with nothing but each other. Back in those days, with nothing to cling to but each other, Rem had always been shaken by the irrational fear that she would someday lose Subaru again.
In Rem’s lack of confidence in herself, Subaru had met his match.
To Rem, worth much more than her minimal appraisal of herself, her life with Subaru was one of maximal happiness and anxiety, nurturing both fortune and fear as two sides of the same coin.
And it was the new life between them that had served as the marker to put an end to that time.
“You didn’t believe?”
“No. I believe you more than this entire world, Subaru.”
“Not that. I don’t mean believing me…I mean, you didn’t believe in yourself?”
Subaru’s words drew a small gasp from Rem; then she nodded toward him. Inside her, Subaru loomed disproportionately large. Rem, thinking she was very tiny in comparison, must have felt anxious on account of that.
Enough not to notice that Subaru had harbored the same worry all that time.
Subaru couldn’t help a pained smile at how they were intensely self-deprecating, husband and wife both. The sight of that made Rem’s cheeks puff up.
“It is fine. I am an idiot. You cannot be faulted for laughing…,” she said.
“No, no. I was just thinking all over again that our personalities are a perfect match, that and yes, my wife really is the cutest in the whole world.”
For but a single moment, the surprise confession made Rem blink and brought a flush to her cheeks. Subaru’s breast warmed at the response; he had managed to make Rem truly feel his love for her.
He liked, and loved, Rem most in the whole world. He was capable of yelling that in a loud voice. In fact, from time to time, he did just that. It had made them locally famous as a particularly passionate husband and wife.
“—Rigel, Spica.”
“Mm?”
All of a sudden, Rem spoke the names of their two adorable children. When Subaru cocked his head, Rem said, “It’s nothing,” gazing at Subaru with upturned eyes.
“Both are the names of stars, yes? Stars in your homeland, Subaru?”
“Yep. My dad had a fundamentally lousy personality, but I straight-up admire him for naming me Subaru. I like this name. Subaru’s the name of a star, y’see.”
When, during his elementary school years, he brought up the topic of the origin of his name, Subaru had learned that he was named for a star cluster in the nighttime sky. Subaru had held an interest in illustrated books about stars ever since. So he knew a whole bunch of star names, and when he needed to stick a name onto something—
“I was always taking names from stars. I used the name of a star for my handle on the net, and if I used an alias I’d usually take one from a star. So even in that sense, these names really shine!!”
“I am uncertain what you mean by that, but I do think names of stars are wonderful. If a third child is born, I am sure it shall be the same.”
“Isn’t it a little soon to talk about a third? Spica’s not weaned yet.”
“I was thinking I could leave everything but breastfeeding to Rigel. Why do you think I was so careful not to have the next child until he got bigger?”
“Hard to notice with me around, but you’re pretty hard on Rigel, too, aren’t you, Rem?!”
Subaru made a strained smile at Rem’s routine treatment of their son as he got up from the bench, brushing his rear. Then, as Rem looked up at him, he extended a hand toward her.
“Let’s head back. A man can only do so much flirting with other people’s eyes on him, you know,” he said.
“I suppose so. Right now, I feel like you want to flirt with me with all your strength in a way that you haven’t in a while.”
“Oh yeah. Right now, my libido might be enough to keep up with even a demon’s endurance…”
With that nervous murmur, he used the hand Rem was grasping to pull her into his embrace. “Wah!” she exclaimed in surprise as Subaru hugged her, Spica and all, deftly conveying his warmth to his family.
“Well, let’s head back, then—to our house.”
“Yes, darling.”
Subaru walked forward, a basket of groceries in one hand, Rem’s hand in the other, with Rem, carrying Spica, cuddled up against him as she followed half a step behind.
That was how they walked close to their still-frozen son at the center of the public park.
“Hey, son, still stuck in WinterFest on your own? This is slow even for freeze tag, and I’m bored, so Mother and I are taking your sister back home. You can sleep over at a friend’s house tonight.”
“That’s blatantly ditching me, damn it! And this is after having my parents be all lovey-dovey in a public park in broad daylight.”
“You jelly? Sorry, Rigel. Rem here is all mine.”
“Shut up!”
Subaru fanned the flames, drawing an angry shout from Rigel, but he didn’t play the jilted son for long. He immediately took a deep breath and spoke. “Stay calm, stay calm. Don’t let Dad fling you around willy-nilly. Calm, I’m calm… OK, I’ve calmed down. So what were you and Mommy talking about?”
“Where your name came from. Come to think a bit, I think Vega was my first candidate for your name.”
“That sounds strong! Why’d you drop it?”
“Nah, when I thought of the original backstory it seemed pretty rough for a name. No way am I raising a son who can only meet his lover once a year. Lovers are important…especially my bride, the cutest of all.”
“Yes, I am Subaru’s Rem.”
“Would you stop using topics about me to act all sappy like that?!”
His parents’ sweet marital exchange drove Rigel to stamp the ground as he vented.
The other children playing freeze tag noticed Rigel’s antics.
“Aah, Rigel moved! You can’t break the freeze tag rules!”
“Geh!”
The children who had abandoned Rigel to that point showered accusations of rule breaking upon him. As Rigel froze, his throat tight, Subaru patted him on the shoulder.
“He who breaks the taboo of freeze tag must be punished. You must face the hell of being tickled by demons until you are unable to either laugh or cry— Be strong.”
“Don’t make up rules as you go with a serious look on your… Hey, what do you guys think you’re…! Wait a sec! Don’t just take what he says at face value! Wa, uwaaa—!!”
Rigel desperately ran away as the various children pressed upon him. However, they headed him off. They proceeded to press Rigel to the ground as several sets of fingers closed in…
“Farewell, my son. Father and Mother have something very important to discuss, so don’t you dare come back until nighttime. Also, use of your horn is forbidden. And make sure you don’t tear your clothes.”
“Y-you heartless parents, I’ll remember this—!”
Fingers pressed upon Rigel from all directions, toying with him as they pleased; his laughing voice echoed through the public park like a cry for help. The laughs of her older brother made Spica go, “Kya-kya,” laughing in obvious delight.
Subaru sensed fine future prospects. Probably Spica’s growth would further solidify Rigel’s place in the Natsuki family.
Having displayed his boundless love for their beloved son by tweaking his nose just a little, Subaru walked forward, leading Rem by the hand.
And so he headed toward his own house, the place where he lived with his precious family in tranquility and happiness—
“Subaru.”
“Mm?”
When he abruptly felt his arm tugged, Subaru stopped and looked back.
That instant, a powerful gust of wind blew between Subaru and Rem. He unwittingly closed his eyes, slowly opening them again when the wind relented.
Rem’s long, blue hair was fluttering in the wind, glittering as if it were making the sunlight melt.
Rem had grown her hair long. The current Subaru somehow understood that this was due to her rivalry with someone. And so too did he understand that when he thought of a woman with long hair, the first image that came to mind was the one before his eyes: that of the girl most precious to him in the whole wide world.
The long hair silently flowed as Rem smiled at Subaru, reembracing their beloved daughter in her arms.
To Subaru, that loving smile was the loveliest thing of all.
“Right now, I am…the happiest woman in the world.”
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Diamond. Diamond. Diamond.
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