Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World. Volume. 5.
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‘Chapter 2:- EVENTS IN MOTION, AND REM’S DECISION.’
Sub-chapter 1.
The tip of the wooden sword made contact with Subaru’s forehead. The next instant, centrifugal force immediately blew him away. He felt like the sky and the ground had been swapped as he wrapped his arms around himself, cushioning the blow as he made a well-formed roll. Having neutralized the damage from the tumble, he proudly licked his lips at his own mastery.
“Geh, there’s dirt on it. Ptoo, ptoo, ptoo. Tastes like grass. Ptoo, ptoo!”
“Shall we bring this to an end?”
“Surely you jest. You saw my expert falling technique, didn’t you? My genius has finally blossomed!”
Saying the words almost broke Subaru’s heart. He had mastered the skill in the course of being pounded day after day.
The boy had sparred with Wilhelm every day during his stay at the Crusch villa. He still couldn’t land even one attack, but his ability to improve his falling technique suggested that Wilhelm wasn’t simply smacking him around without a purpose.
The older man presented a rebuttal, though.
“However, it is a useless technique for a duel with real swords.”
“You didn’t need to point that out!! The pine tree of my heart has a lot of cracks right now!!”
Certainly, in a bout that could end in a single sword stroke, a martial arts skill for properly receiving a blow and falling was not very useful. Improving a skill used solely for practicing was a misplaced priority, but it was still well worth it during sword training.
“I must say, you seem to be more spirited this morning somehow.”
“Last night, I had a little discussion with Miss Crusch about my concerns— Thanks to that, all my hesitation’s disappeared. I feel pretty good at the moment.”
“In a book I read yesterday, a character who was only beginning to become accustomed to the battlefield spoke much like you are now. He lost his life because he took his fight for granted, Sir Subaru.”
“So there’s death flags even in other worlds?!”
Apparently even in a small corner across the cosmos, there were lines that marked you for death, just like back home.
But Subaru had been anxiously awaiting Wilhelm’s words of concern.
The older man raised his eyebrows in a questioning expression.
“Sir Subaru?”
A smile came over the boy as he shook his head.
“…Nothing. Really, nothing at all.”
—At that moment, “the field of battle” and “death” were things he could welcome with open arms. Those were opportunities for Subaru Natsuki to establish his worth in an undeniable way.
“So much waste.”
“Ugah!”
When sword practice resumed, Wilhelm exploited the opening created by Subaru’s wandering thoughts, using a minimal motion to strike with his sword. He took advantage of all the boy’s excess power and unnecessary momentum and easily sent Subaru’s body dancing into the air with no visible power behind the sword attack.
“I can handle this!”
Subaru, desperate to keep from falling on his head and causing serious damage, instantly shifted his head and curled up, adopting an ironclad fall-breaking posture that could let him land anywhere without major injury. However…
“Do you really think that is the last of it?”
With one smooth motion, Wilhelm inserted his wooden sword through a gap in Subaru’s curled-up limbs, wrecking his posture. The boy’s arms and legs spread out wide, and unable to grasp what was happening, he slammed into the ground, limbs splayed.
“Gyah!”
Subaru rubbed his still-smarting nose and shot an objecting glare at Wilhelm. His sword-fighting tutor responded by thrusting his wooden weapon straight down into the grass. Subaru’s breath caught in his throat under the calm gaze.
“Adopting a position to break your fall and prepare for whatever might come next is the first meaningful progress you have made. But more important, I refuse to accept the premise of teaching you to fight in a manner that assumes defeat from the very beginning.”
“Uhh…”
“If I may, before teaching you how to swing a sword and techniques to break a fall, I shall tell you how to prepare in a more fundamental manner.”
As Subaru grunted, showing Wilhelm had hit the mark, the tutor raised a finger.
“—If you have decided to fight, fight with all your body and soul. Forget all pretty words that lead to defeat. Hunger and thirst for victory using any means necessary. If you can still stand, if you can still move a single finger, if your fangs have not yet been broken, stand. Stand. Get up, get up, and attack. So long as you live, fight. Fight, fight, fight!”
“”
“That is what it means to do battle.”
Wilhelm’s visible pause lifted the tense air that had come to dominate the courtyard. Only then did Subaru realize just how loudly his own heart had been beating. At the same time, each deafening throb drove home the fact that he was alive.
—Living had never felt better.
The feelings that had made him welcome the prospect of death until mere moments before had suddenly flown away.
The instant Wilhelm began to speak of preparing for battle, the air around him completely changed. He might have looked like a mild-mannered gentleman, but Subaru felt a sword-wielding demon within him. Perhaps that was the true nature behind the old man named Wilhelm.
The one who wielded such strength that he was employed as the personal sword instructor of Crusch Karsten, favorite to win the royal election—the aged swordsman, Wilhelm Trias.
“So fight to win, even if you know…you’re gonna lose… It’s a little inconsistent, but I understand what you mean. It’s not logic; it’s a matter of emotion. Then…”
Subaru, still in awe of the elderly man, felt the fighting spirit in him rekindled as he replied.
I can handle this, said his stubbornness.
He couldn’t let that breakthrough to his doubts, that ray of hope come apart in such a short time.
The feelings of Subaru Natsuki were not that cheap. He couldn’t let them be.
“—If I can do that, can I get a little stronger?”
“That is a different matter. The desire to be stronger and actually doing so are separate matters altogether.”
“So now you deny me?! Don’t you think saying yes would make for a more beautiful tale?!”
“…I have learned the cruelty of lies through bitter experience. I could not forgive myself for telling one.”
Subaru did not notice how the other man’s eyes momentarily fell as he spoke.
“I believe sometimes the truth is crueler than a lie, just so you know…”
Subaru felt like Wilhelm was dodging the question, so he re-gripped his wooden sword and abruptly murmured, “Do you see any sword talent inside me?”
“From where I stand, unfortunately, you have none. Your aptitude for the blade goes no further than the common man’s—the same place as mine.”
The strained, self-deprecating smile that came over Wilhelm made Subaru raise an eyebrow in surprise.
“That’s pretty humble coming from you, saying you have no talent with a sword.”
“It is the truth. I have no gift for it. If I did, I surely would not have had to wield one nearly as much. Therefore, it is possible for you to arrive at the same level as I.”
“…Incidentally, how long would I have to work at it?”
“Nothing so great. You would only need to devote half your natural life to it.”
“Only, he says.”
It was often said that continually striving to improve was true talent. In actuality, even with Wilhelm telling him that he could arrive at the same level, Subaru couldn’t fathom the drive to devote as much time to the sword as the old man, or a reason to do so.
In the first place, the reason Subaru had Wilhelm teach him like this was—
“I thought, like, pouring myself into the sword without worldly thoughts might let me find enlightenment for the first time…”
“I wonder now. Whatever you might grasp will not make you suddenly stronger, after all, and I do not think a clear mind or lack thereof determines who will win and who will fall in the end.”
Wilhelm drily conveyed his opinion. “Besides,” he continued, “if I must say so, I have rarely wielded my blade with a clear mind. Particularly when I first began, I had very few thoughts about the way of the sword.”
“So what did you think of?”
“My wife, and my wife alone.”
“Sheesh, Wilhelm! Sometimes you really go on about that wife of yours.”
Subaru remembered how he had spoken of his beloved wife when they had first met, but Wilhelm had also praised his bride to high heaven during Subaru’s stay at the mansion. It must have been a harmonious marriage.
Seeing Subaru break out in a strained smile at the latest episode of this behavior, Wilhelm rubbed his chin.
“Someday, you will reach a point where such preparedness is necessary to become stronger. Well, it’s nothing you need to worry about at present, Sir Subaru.”
“What do you mean?”
Subaru tilted his head slightly. Wilhelm shook his head a tiny bit at the gesture.
“I simply mean that there is little point in lecturing someone about what it takes to become stronger when he has already abandoned the choice to do so.”
“—”
For a moment, Subaru’s face froze over, unable to comprehend what he was being told. However, the breakdown was momentary. He immediately shrugged, as if dismissing it as a joke.
“Hey now, what are you saying all of a sudden, Wilhelm? I’m as surprised as a burglar who gets stopped before he actually steals anything. I’ve done what now?”
“If you are aware of it yourself, it would be inelegant to speak further of it. I have said what I wished to say. It would have been difficult to tell you had I let this opportunity slip by.”
Wilhelm, speaking as if he understood everything, left no room for Subaru to pursue the matter.
Unease smoldered in Subaru’s chest. Wilhelm’s words had left him with an undeniable sense of nervousness. And Wilhelm could tell exactly what that feeling meant.
Instantly, that truth tore unbearably and mercilessly at the boy’s heart.
Subaru, sweating in the throes of a phantom chill, raised his head when Wilhelm looked toward the mansion and spoke.
“Sir Subaru. It seems that this morning’s practice is at an end.”
“—Ah?”
When Subaru followed his gaze, he noticed a small silhouette racing into the courtyard—Rem.
Normally, she was not one to show emotion on her face, but he could see a sense of quiet tension on her as she ran.
Had something…happened?
For Subaru, at that moment in time, it was fortuitous salvation, a golden opportunity to forget his conversation with Wilhelm. He looked at Rem’s haste and agitation with relief.
Or maybe that was because Subaru had suspected where things had been headed.
“Subaru— We need to talk.”
When Rem stood right before him, her serious expression made his heart tremble.
—But Subaru would never speak to another about the anticipation he felt in that moment.
Sub-chapter 2.
Lady Crusch, waiting in the reception room, gave a knowing nod as she saw Subaru approach.
“It would appear that you have already heard.”
Crusch and Ferris were together in the reception room, waiting for Subaru and Rem as master and vassal. Subaru, last to enter the room, couldn’t deny he felt late to the party as he shook his head a little.
“I haven’t heard the details yet. Seems like Rem only has a vague idea, too.”
When Subaru’s eyes shifted to indicate Rem beside him, she dipped her head with a tense expression and said, “What I have felt is only a result of the consciousness I share with Sister. Sister’s clairvoyance would be able to gather more details about the situation, but…”
Rem lowered her eyes as her words trailed off, looking dismayed at her own powerlessness.
Rem’s reply caused Crusch to exhale in apparent admiration.
“Shared consciousness—I have heard of this, that close relations from a select few humanoid species, such as twins and blood relatives, can understand each other’s thoughts without requiring words… And you can do this from the royal capital to a place as far removed as the Mathers dominion?”
“As already stated, it is a vague thing. Powerful emotions and words that one wishes to convey very strongly can be related. However…”
As Crusch sat, Ferris adopted a casual posture behind her, his kitty ears quivering.
“From how mew put that, mew must have felt something pretty unsettling over that telepathy, right?”
Subaru, put off by Ferris’s demeanor, shifted to stand in front of Rem.
“Don’t keep us in suspense here. If you know anything about this, say something. Don’t just leave Rem twisting in the wind like that. Spill the beans already.”
“Ooh, mew don’t like me now? Besides, intelligence doesn’t come for free. You’re just a patient and a guest, Subawu. Why should we tell you anything?”
“You…!”
Properly speaking, Ferris was right. Even if he was a guest on the surface, Subaru’s position was that of a patient and an outsider. He could insist it concerned him all he liked, but since he was part of a political faction, only a fool would toss him a bone just because he’d begged for it.
But as Subaru cursed his own shallowness, it was Crusch who rebuked Ferris.
“Ferris. Do not be unkind. There is no reason for you to play the villain here. All toying with Subaru Natsuki will earn you is an angry glare from Rem.”
“Fiiiine.”
Crusch, still seated alone on the sofa, motioned for Subaru to sit in the chair opposite her.
“Self-reflection leads to personal progress. But that depends on the time and situation. I would like to prioritize trading opinions here and now. How about it?”
“…Sure thing. Hate to take a free ride, but I really want to hear what you have to say.”
Subaru accepted her offer and sat with Rem standing at his side.
Crusch began.
“In the Mathers dominion—that is, in the fiefdom of Marquis Roswaal—dangerous activities have apparently been reported around his manor. Part of the domain has already been placed under lockdown at the marquis’s command.”
Subaru’s brows rose at the unsettling language.
“Dangerous activities? Lockdown?”
The fact Rem’s telepathic connection had been triggered had prepared him for bad news, but even hearing the details made unease churn within him.
“We do not actually know what is occurring within the Mathers dominion. But I can hazard a guess, given that the marquis’s support for Emilia—in other words, a half-elf—as a royal candidate has come to light.”
“What, you mean the serfs are on stri— They’re complaining left and right?”
When Subaru voiced the first misgivings that came to mind, Crusch easily agreed with them.
“That is quite possible, of course. The infamy of the Witch of Jealousy makes prejudice against half-elves a battle she cannot avoid.”
Once again, Subaru couldn’t allow the circumstances of her birth to be her shackles. He was growing to hate the faceless mob that talked trash about Emilia without knowing anything about her as a person.
“Your rage is surely misplaced. She chose this path, knowing what she would face.”
“Misplaced? You mean me or those people? …So what, they’re kicking up trouble in Roswaal’s fiefdom for a stupid reason like that? Are these little brush fires that’ll burn out, or is it going to turn into a massive firestorm?”
“Setting aside whether the reasons are petty or not, the summary is sound. This also explains Rem’s telepathic reaction.” Crusch turned to Rem as she spoke, drawing all eyes to the previously silent girl.
“The feelings I am picking up from Sister are partly unease and largely…anger. I believe she did not mean to convey these things but did so subconsciously.”
“Do these shared sensations between you occur with great frequency?”
“No, it is quite rare. We are always controlling our thoughts to a certain extent. I believe that in this case, Sister transferred these things to me in spite of self-restraint.”
When Rem reached the latter half of her explanation, she could not conceal the anxiety coloring her words. It was not an exaggeration to say that Ram had the most mental strength of anyone at Roswaal Manor. A crisis that could shake even her restraint was clearly no small matter.
And yet, beyond what Ram had let slip telepathically, she had made no effort to call for Rem’s aid.
Subaru murmured to himself alone as his conclusion burned him up inside.
“It’s like she’s…trying to keep us from getting involved…”
The only explanation he could come up with was that Ram had told Rem of the danger over their mutual link without calling her sister back, because she intended to convey that information to Rem…and avoid letting Subaru know.
—Did she want to keep Subaru out of her problems to that extent?
“But she’s in trouble, isn’t she…?”
The situation was bad enough that it had reached Crusch’s ears, there camped in the capital.
As was typical, there were few that Emilia could count on, and she had enemies numbering beyond reason. In such circumstances, who would take her side without some kind of ulterior motive?
The answer was no one. After all, there was nobody currently at her side who would be her staunch ally.
She had left behind the one who would have.
No doubt, when Emilia realized that, she would regret what she had done. That was why—
Subaru lifted his head and murmured with determination, “I’ve…got to go save her, don’t I?”
This time, all gazes fell upon him. Crusch raised one eyebrow, and Ferris softly closed his teasing lips. Then Rem tugged on Subaru’s sleeve with a nervous look.
“N-no, Subaru, you mustn’t…!”
The anxiety and mournful pleading in Rem’s eyes startled him.
She continued, “You must do as Lady Emilia and Master Roswaal have told you and concentrate on your own treatment. I, personally, agree with them. You must focus on healing your body for the time be—”
“If I do that, stuff will happen that can never be undone. Rem, it’s like that time back when we talked before going into the demon beast forest. We’ve…got to do something.”
“…!”
Rem’s expression stiffened in pain at Subaru’s words.
They had spoken like this in the past, just before entering the demon beast forest to rescue the abducted children. Subaru had said the same things to Rem when she’d tried to stop him.
Those actions had consequences. As a result of his decision, the children had been rescued safe and sound. That was why Rem knew very well what was behind Subaru’s resolve now.
Keeping Rem at bay as she clung to him, he shifted to look straight at Crusch, seated before him.
“It’s as you heard, Crusch. Rem and I will go back to the ma… To where Emilia is. Until things are settled, I’ll have to put off the treatm—”
Subaru was delivering his verdict as a member of his political camp when Crusch curtly interrupted him by calling out his name.
“Subaru Natsuki.”
Subaru’s breath caught under Crusch’s penetrating gaze. His heart beat much harder; he had the sinking feeling that he’d forgotten who he was dealing with. Then she coldly stated…
“—If you leave this place, it means that you have become my enemy.”
Subaru felt those words as keenly as a blade slicing into his flesh.
Then, when the meaning began to dawn on him, like a laceration just beginning to ache…
“Wh-what do you mean by…?”
“Let me correct your misunderstanding. My treatment of you as a guest and Ferris’s healing you is the result of a contract.”
“Contract…?”
“Yes, a contract for your care between Emilia and me. My house has received collateral in exchange for treating you as a guest. However…”
As her words trailed off, Crusch put a hand to her chest to indicate herself.
“The circumstances before the royal selection, when the contract was formed, and now are different. Now that we are publicly political enemies, I must take great care in any negotiation with Emilia’s camp. It is the same for the contract governing your treatment. If there is any violation of its terms, I have no obligation to uphold an agreement formed before the commencement of the royal selection now that it has begun in earnest.”
To Subaru’s ears, the word contract that she kept repeating sounded like promise. It sat very poorly in his chest, mingling with his memories of parting ways with Emilia.
Crusch pressed on.
“In these circumstances, your departing from my residence would be a violation, a unilateral abridging of the contract midway. After all, though there is no enmity attached, Emilia and I are enemies.”
Subaru’s mind couldn’t catch up with Crusch’s blunt declaration of war.
He understood that the duchess and her people were “enemies” on paper. He’d barely finished saying to Rem that he was sorry for leaving himself defenseless in the manor and would adopt the right mindset going forward. And yet, Subaru had yet to fully grasp what that meant.
The person standing before him was the greatest enemy standing in his and Emilia’s way.
“I did have it all wrong… I thought for a little bit that we might be able to be friends or something.”
“—”
“That was just dumb talk over drinks. ‘If you can do something, do it…’? I was a fool to take an enemy’s words at face value. I’m being petty. Tripping up your opponent is the right thing to do.”
The same hazy sense of alienation that he’d felt at the royal selection conference seeped into his chest.
Subaru saw his memory of their conversation over drinks the night before in a new light and felt betrayed, since it was Crusch herself who had told him to do whatever he could.
To stand in his way despite those words: Was that not a betrayal?
Ferris, silent to that point, spoke as if he couldn’t stand to watch.
“…Don’t misunderstand, meow!” His sharp look made Subaru bite his tongue and swallow his words. “Lady Crusch isn’t acting out of malice but kindness. It wouldn’t hurt her at all if mew left to return and try to help Lady Emilia—”
Crusch interrupted.
“Ferris, stop.”
But Ferris brushed off Crusch’s rebuke and glared at Subaru.
“No, I will say it. For such a minor meowsunderstanding, it’s far too cruel, so someone has to say it… Subawu, going will do nothing to change things. It’s pointless to go. On top of that, you’d be wasting Lady Emeowlia’s contract, which she paid for with a fair sum. After the humiliation you went through at the royal palace and what happened with Julius at the parade square, you still don’t get it? Staying put, hoping for the best, and focusing on healing your body is the far better choice.”
—Subaru heard something.
The sound of something snapping inside himself.
He’d been stuffing his anger into a sack within him, and when he realized it was now open, Subaru was seized by such a rage at the humiliation inflicted on him that his teeth cut into his lip.
Those provocations were more than enough to harden his resolve.
“I’ve decided—I’m returning to the mansion where Emilia is. It’s been a short time, but thanks for your hospitality.”
As Subaru spoke his farewells, Rem shouted to hold him back.
“Subaru!”
But he held up a hand to Rem as he rose from his seat, looking down at Crusch.
Crusch folded her arms and closed her eyes. He had no idea what was inside her heart. Ferris, seated beside her, let out a long sigh, his face making his sullen mood clear as he said, “No respect for others’ feelings… Shouldn’t a good man take warnings at face value?”
“Your warning let me make my decision. Thanks.”
Ferris apparently gave up on discussing the matter after Subaru returned his sarcasm. Instead, Crusch unfolded her arms before looking at him and resuming the conversation.
“Subaru Natsuki. Unfortunately, all of this house’s dragon carriages for long-distance transportation are already assigned to other tasks. All that I can lend you is a slower freight carriage or a midrange carriage that would require you to dismount and go part of the way on foot.”
“…Er?”
Subaru’s eyes widened. He’d expected her to berate him for unilaterally breaking the contract, but Crusch…almost sounded like she agreed with Subaru’s decision. The unexpected reply made Subaru’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.
She raised an eyebrow with a questioning look before turning toward Ferris.
“Ferris. Did I say something odd?”
Ferris put his hands to his cheeks and squirmed as he replied.
“Even Ferri’s dazzled at how incredibly you can adapt, Lady Crusch. But, ah, you aren’t actually going to lend Subawu a dragon carriage, are you?”
Crusch nodded in the affirmative.
“It is as I said. I respect the decisions of others. No matter what the decision, it is very important to take responsibility for it. And no matter what burden you bear, you must work to achieve what you want to achieve and bring no dishonor to your soul— Is it not so?”
“…Yeah, it is. That’s exactly it. I don’t want my soul to become shameless. If that girl’s in trouble, there’s no way I can stay here as a patient and spend my days without a care in the world.”
Crusch’s affirmation made Subaru uncomfortable, as if he had been gearing up to fight an opponent that didn’t plan on doing battle.
Perhaps Subaru had conveyed his resolve, because Rem closed her eyes, seemingly berating herself for a single moment. When she opened them again, she had returned to her normal neutral expression.
“In place of my master, let me extend my deepest thanks for everything you have done to date.”
“I don’t mind. There is benefit to us as well. However, I would like to speak to you concerning the last leg of the journey…”
Rem lowered her head, treating Crusch’s offer with great courtesy.
“If I may be so bold, we would be grateful for the help. We wish to confirm that the dominion is safe without a moment to spare. However, time is short. It will no doubt take two and a half days to reach the Mathers lands from the royal capital.”
Subaru exclaimed, “Over two days?! Why? When we came it didn’t even take half of one day to get here!”
If his memory was correct, the dragon carriage left Roswaal Manor in the morning, arriving at the royal capital just past noon. Even without a long-distance carriage, the disparity in the lengths of the journeys was too extreme.
“That’s impossible now. The Liphas Highway we used to get here cannot be used currently. The season is poor, and fog is covering the road… Therefore, we must take a detour around it.”
“So what if there’s fog on it? If we just cut right through that—”
Ferris interrupted, swatting Subaru’s opinion down with what was apparently public knowledge.
“It’s the White Whale that makes the fog, mew know? If mew stumble across it inside the fog, your life is gone. That’s just commeown sense, right?”
Subaru scowled at the unfamiliar term White Whale. But Rem set aside the fact that Subaru didn’t understand and proceeded with the larger discussion.
As a result of her negotiations, they came to the following terms: Subaru and Rem would borrow a medium-range dragon carriage from the House of Karsten and then board some other dragon carriage at a village along the way to return home as fast as possible.
Subaru gritted his teeth over the inconvenient lack of a dragon carriage that could go the whole way without stopping. It was times like this that he painfully missed cars, something that needed only fuel to make it run farther.
It was a bad situation that made him want to hurry, but hurry he could not. The fog that covered the highway seemed like a manifestation of the worry spreading before his eyes.
The sense that this was a looming bad omen wouldn’t stop pricking at Subaru’s heart.
Sub-chapter 3.
Once the plan had been hashed out, things moved quickly.
In short order, Subaru and Rem were headed toward the front gate of the Crusch villa with their luggage, yet there was already a vehicle awaiting them, stripped of all ornamentation to lighten it, with a single red-skinned land dragon drawing it.
Wilhelm was holding the beast’s reins as he awaited their arrival. When he noticed Subaru and Rem rushing over, the aged man bowed deeply.
“This is the fastest land dragon that this house is able to lend under these circumstances. Even so, I dearly regret that it is inferior to the long-range dragons employed by the marquis…”
With Rem taking the reins, Subaru stood beside her and looked at Wilhelm.
“I’m immensely grateful you’re lending me anything at all… I’d love to say I’ll return it for sure, but…”
His tone dropped at the end.
Wilhelm was the only one to see off Subaru and Rem at the front gate. They had said their farewells to Crusch and Ferris at the entry hall of the mansion. The least he could do was politely return the dragon carriage later as a final parting of ways.
“In my position, I can but obey Lady Crusch’s decision. Once you depart from the mansion, my master and your master will no doubt become mutual enemies— This dragon carriage will serve as a parting gift for the half-fulfilled treatment and sword instruction.”
“But that’s… I don’t think they said one word about that when we left the mansion.”
At the very least, the farewell from master and vassal suited them almost too well.
“I pray your efforts shall be valiant, and that you will strive to make your choices proudly, without shame to your soul.”
“With Lady Crusch being this nice to mew, you’d better make up with Lady Emilia in a hurry. Now get going already!”
That last sentence probably left the strongest impression. There hadn’t been any hint of the kind of consideration he felt from Wilhelm, but…
“I, too, serve Lady Crusch, so I am somewhat familiar with my master’s way of thinking.”
“Incidentally, when did you start working for her?”
“I believe it is just over half a year now…”
“Hey, that’s way shorter than I thought!! From how you talked about it, I thought you’d been master and servant for years and years!!”
Rem was piling luggage onto the dragon carriage while Subaru and Wilhelm traded words in that manner. Rem took the reins again and gave the land dragon’s snout a gentle stroke.
“—Understand? Then do as I say. That’s it, good boy, good boy.”
“Rem, how’s it looking?”
“He seems to have a slightly wild disposition, but I have just instructed him who is on top, so there shall be no trouble. I believe he will obey my commands.”
“R-right… Gotta establish the hierarchy. You really know how to crack the whip, huh?”
As a result of Rem’s “conversation” with the land dragon, they seemed to be getting along. Given the fact they’d be racing together for over a day’s worth of time, the relationship between driver and land dragon was crucial.
Rem discussed their plan.
“Taking a detour across the plains to avoid the fog, we should pass through two villages on our way to the marquis’s lands. We can likely procure and switch to another dragon carriage at a village named Hanumas near the border.”
“Incidentally, how long till we get to Hanumas?”
“It will likely take fourteen to fifteen hours. If we run the dragon carriage into the ground after we switch, we might be able to arrive at the fiefdom in another half a day…”
Subaru scratched at his head, biting back his words of dismay before bowing his head to Wilhelm.
“Thanks for everything. It’s a shame to leave practice half-finished like this…”
“I believe I have taught you the most important things. Beyond this, if you desire to increase your skill at the sword, there is no better way than to continue swinging one. May you stay in good health.”
Wilhelm offered his hand, Subaru accepted it, and the two exchanged a good, hard shake.
Rem took over the driver’s seat as Subaru entered the small carriage. Poking his head out of the window, he gave one last wave to Wilhelm, who was seeing them off from the front gate.
“Well, we’re heading out. If fate allows, I’d love to spend some time together again.”
“If you enjoy being welcomed with blows from a wooden sword, come back anytime.”
Wilhelm gave a gentlemanly smile as he saw off Subaru and Rem with a very fitting joke.
The land dragon neighed and began gently picking up speed. The carriage accelerated further, leaving the Crusch villa farther and farther behind them. The figure at the front gate kept his head bowed until Subaru could no longer see him.
They headed downhill, passing the guardhouse that formed the entrance to the Nobles’ District, heading straight down the main street to the gate that linked the royal capital to the highway outside that was their destination.
Thanks to the land dragon’s blessing, the vibrations in Subaru’s rear were exceedingly soft. He nervously looked out the small window, unable to bear the sense of urgency inside him.
Leaving the streets of the royal capital behind, his field of vision was dominated by green grassland and blue sky and nothing else. Since Rem was concentrating on driving, he couldn’t speak to her, so there was nothing for him to do while in transit. Inside the carriage, Subaru sank into a sea of thought.
Crusch had declared that they could not lend a dragon carriage for long-range use. Accordingly, the feel of the passenger seat was much shoddier. It was probably for rushing servants from place to place.
He’d entered and left the Crusch residence in the blink of an eye. The fact that the duchess had kindly lent him a single dragon carriage upon his departure left Subaru in a tangle of complicated thoughts that were difficult to put into words. Only the night before, he’d judged her as strict but not indifferent. The back-and-forth before his departure had only added to the complexity.
What he did understand was why many people wanted to converse with her. No doubt Emilia would have to work hard to build up a network of personal connections as Crusch had. That was a necessary hardship for her. Yet unnecessary ones burdened Emilia as well.
“That’s why…I need to get over there, and fast…”
Of course, these were political questions and a matter of connections between people of privilege. Subaru did not have such an inflated view of himself as to think he would be of help with those issues. He knew there would be difficult problems where he would be nothing but dead weight. But it wasn’t in him to use his powerlessness as a reason to cast aside someone he cared about when she was in trouble.
If he poured his heart and soul into it, he was certain that he could overcome these obstacles.
Subaru Natsuki possessed that power.
“Nothing will work unless I’m with her… Now she’ll understand that.”
It was unfounded certainty—no, it was nothing but hope.
Emilia had fallen into peril. If he was there, galloping to her rescue, somehow everything would work out. That was his slender, flickering hope, in danger of being snuffed out by the wind.
He wanted to prove his worth. He needed to.
If Emilia was in distress, Subaru would save her.
No, that’s how it had to be. Subaru needed Emilia to fall into peril so that he could discover his own value—and show others that he had worth.
“That’s right… It’s no good if I’m not with her. For sure…!”
In the back of his mind was the incredibly lovely girl with silver hair. Her smiling face was enveloped by an amorphous darkness, buried by malice attempting to quench her sublime spirit.
“—”
With that vision in his mind, Subaru closed his eyes and bit his lip.
In the carriage, he silently let the time pass, alone.
With the exception of Rem in the driver’s seat, he was isolated in that place, unable to sense the presence of any other.
—And he never noticed the faint twisting of his lips.
Sub-chapter 4.
Late that day, instead of Hanumas, where they had planned to switch carriages, they rested at a stopover town ahead of it named Fleur.
Rem had suggested it as the sun was setting, just before night began to fall.
“Traveling by night will increase the probability of encountering bandits and demon beasts. I am also concerned about passing close to the fog, so I believe it’s best to lodge at a nearby inn tonight.”
“How long is it to the halfway point at Hanumas? We can’t just rush the rest of the way there?”
“It would take until midnight to arrive at Hanumas from here. We might not be able to get an inn, and procuring a dragon carriage is difficult in the middle of the night, so…”
“Ugh… That’s true. So it’s not like we can just get there and everything will work out, then.”
Rem had been thinking while Subaru was mulling things over. Naturally, she had made her proposal with much deeper consideration than Subaru’s. Though he was irritated at having to stop, he accepted Rem’s suggestion.
“So let’s get an inn here in Fleur and head out first thing in the morning. That’ll give the land dragon some rest and maybe cut down on the time needed to find a carriage in Hanumas?”
“Yes. If we leave early in the morning and things go well in Hanumas midway, we just might be able to make it to the mansion before nightfall tomorrow.”
As Rem replied, her voice was filled with relief that Subaru had accepted her proposal without complaint.
Fortunately, their hope of finding an inn upon arrival in Fleur was granted. They entrusted the land dragon to the stable adjoining the inn, filled their bellies with an exceedingly crude evening meal, bathed briefly, and dove into bed so that they could rise immediately at daybreak.
But when Subaru thought of Emilia, his sense of urgency and impatience drove off all drowsiness.
“Can’t sleep…”
Desperately trying to doze off, all he ended up doing was blindly changing positions in bed over and over. After all, he’d spent quite some time at Roswaal’s mansion and Crusch’s villa, the finest laps of luxury that world had to offer; the hard bed of a backwater inn made it hard for him to sleep.
Of course, given that he wanted to wake up as early in the morning as possible, curses for time and his own body welled up his chest. He didn’t need more time to think. What he needed was an opportunity to link the conclusions drawn in his mind to tangible actions. Thus, all he yearned for was the morning sun.
How many times had he glared at the ceiling and at the backs of his eyelids? How many times had he turned in bed?
A sound slid into his eardrums; a knock at the doorway, then someone hesitantly opened the door.
“…Subaru, may I come in?”
When he lifted his head and looked over, he saw Rem’s upper body leaning into the room. She’d slipped out of the servant’s outfit he was used to and had changed into a thin blue nightgown he’d seen at some point before.
Rem, realizing Subaru was awake, looked relieved as she headed toward the bed. Subaru asked her, “What’s wrong? If you’re here to say you feel lonely and can’t sleep by yourself, it’s a hard day for it. If I was a little calmer, I’d have a really good laugh at that, but right now…”
“That proposal makes my heart flutter, but no. I could not sleep, so I wanted to talk a little.”
“I see… You, too, then. Well, nothing we can do about that, huh?”
Subaru crawled out of bed as Rem timidly sat down by his side. Feeling like their shoulders were close enough to touch, he turned his attention to her pale face and opened his mouth.
“I feel bad that you’ve had to take care of me ever since we left the mansion, Rem.”
“Please do not apologize for that. I do not think of anything as hardship if it is for your sake.”
Her strong shake of her head pricked at Subaru’s conscience. He knew that was what Rem would say. Ever since the demon beast uproar, she had been his ally through thick and thin.
Ironically, she was probably the one who most understood his worth.
“…Finding out by telepathy must’ve made you way more worried about the mansion than me. And here you are worrying about me on top of that— We still don’t know that anything’s happened, right?”
Rem nodded stiffly in reply to his question and lowered her eyes.
“—Don’t worry about it. I’m sure something rough has happened, but she’s not cute enough to fold that easily. We’ll get back soon. I’ll manage to take care of it somehow.”
Subaru smiled with unwarranted cheerfulness, trying to lessen even a little the burden weighing Rem down. He wanted to make her feel at ease.
As was typical for him, Subaru’s claims were baseless. It wasn’t as if he had some brilliant, tangible plan to overcome difficult obstacles. Anyone ought to have doubted a declaration like that.
And yet…
“—Yes. I believe you, Subaru.”
Rem smiled pleasantly at him with relief, as if ten thousand cavalrymen had come galloping to her aid.
“—!”
Realizing that her smile had captivated him, Subaru’s face reddened as he averted his gaze.
He’d said something embarrassing, and her acceptance of it had been equally shameless. Subaru immediately turned his back to her without continuing. He didn’t know what Rem must have thought of him.
—His breath caught when he suddenly felt the weight and warmth of her body against him.
“M-Miss Rem? Er… I wonder, why are you hugging me like this?”
The soft sensation against his back and her breath made Subaru unconsciously slip into a more formal form of address.
“…Because I want to.”
The answer she gave in response, rich with meaning, carried a warmth that set off alarm bells in his heart.
Behind Subaru, still sitting on the bed, Rem had her arms around him, as if to cover him up. Her feminine softness, sweet scent, and arms around him drenched Subaru’s entire body in warmth.
“Er, ah… This feeling is…”
Subaru, sensing it from head to toe, tilted his head when he suddenly realized that the “warmth” Rem was imparting was something apart from body heat—greatly resembling something he had felt over the past several days.
In reply to Subaru’s misgivings, Rem maintained the contact and opened her mouth.
“I am healing your gate, the same as Master Felix did for you, Subaru. After all, I had several opportunities to watch while standing right beside you. Compared to Master Felix, perhaps I cannot do much more than put you at ease a little, but…”
“R-right, treatment! Treatment, yes! I see, I see. Yes, yes. E-exactly, huh. Ha-ha.”
Feeling embarrassed at his impure delusions, Subaru glossed things over with a hollow laugh. He felt Rem smile slightly behind him as the strength of the mana flowing into him increased.
“Whoa, incredible… This feels way better than Ferris’s stuff ramming into me.”
“Thank you very much. But that assessment is unfair to Master Felix.”
“Not at all. I’m totally serious. It feels good and…makes me feel…sleepy…”
Maybe the effect of the treatment was inferior to Ferris’s, but Rem had far greater consideration for her patient. He felt like he was immersed in warm water, wrapped in softness.
He felt comfortable, relaxed, and drowsy, so he did not catch Rem’s faint whisper.
“That is most likely…the difference between our feelings toward you, Subaru.” His head was slipping down when Rem brought her lips close to his ear. “It’s all right to fall asleep. I’ll lay you down in bed properly, cover you with blankets, and leave after I’ve had my fill of watching you sleep.”
“I wasn’t worried about my belly being out in the open, and that’s quite a line at the end… But when you’re working so hard, how can I fall asleep in the middle of it, Rem?”
It was petty stubbornness, but he didn’t want to come off as rude after everything she’d done.
He sensed Rem beaming as he felt her hands touch his head. The warmth coming from her palms increased, making his eyelids even heavier.
“Aww, crap… Why am I…? I mean, it’s…hard for you, too, but… Rem, why are you…doing this for me…?” He rubbed his eyes, irrationally resisting the drowsiness, continuing to speak to hold on to his consciousness. “Rem, why…so much…for me…?”
“Because I want to… I do not need any other reason.”
He let go of his mind before her words really sank in. Even so, he heard Rem reply, “I want.” That part was important.
That was probably the starting point for all the thoughts enveloping Subaru—
What would happen when he returned to the mansion and reunited with Emilia? He was full of anxiety.
“She’ll…yell at me at first, won’t she…?”
Subaru’s eyes fell as he shook his head.
As he wobbled, Rem’s arms gently embraced him to provide support. “It’ll be all right, Subaru. You’re a wonderful person. With time and a proper meeting, if you tell her how you feel, I’m sure she will understand.”
“Is that…so. Guess…I am, for you to think…like this about me…”
Sound grew distant. No, his mind had begun to withdraw from reality.
The comfortable drowsiness coursed through him like a curse, his eyes closing to become a cage around his mind.
Just before his consciousness completely slipped away from reality, Subaru thought he felt the faint touch of Rem’s lips against his neck as she said, “So please keep me in a little corner of your thoughts, and don’t go anywhere else, Subaru…”
Subaru no longer had the mental strength to reply to the seemingly pleading whisper as his mind gently sank into the darkness.
Sub-chapter 5.
—What woke Subaru up was the feeling of hot sunrays burning his eyelids.
He remained lying in the bed as he absentmindedly lifted a hand to block out the sun. The light entering through the room’s large window was strong; with him covered in bed up to his shoulders, they made him so hot that it was hard to sleep.
He indulged in that feeling for several long seconds before enough blood flowed into his half-asleep head for him to realize…
“The…sun’s up?!”
Subaru threw off his blankets, leaped off the bed, and sprinted to the window. When he pushed it open, a cool breeze flowed into the room, and he gazed dumbfounded at the sun watching him from high in the sky.
That sight struck him with the terrible truth.
“No way… At a time like this… Am I an idiot?!”
Having arrived at the despairing conclusion he’d overslept, he rushed with all haste to Rem’s bedroom next door in the inn. Subaru knocked furiously on the door before throwing it open.
“Rem! Wake up! We massively overslept!”
Cursing the fact that he’d slept nearly half the day away, he scanned the room in desperation. Anyway, he had to get Rem up so that they could resume their march— Or so he had thought.
“…Rem?”
The room was completely empty.
There was no bulge on the bed. The sheets were untouched. Subaru had a bad feeling about the lack of evidence that anyone had been in the bed at all. The room held no warmth from a human presence.
Unable to even see any luggage, he ran out of the room to the inn’s front desk. The innkeeper who had greeted him and Rem the previous evening was sitting at the desk, smiling sociably when he noticed the boy.
“My, my, good morning. It would seem you slept very well last night…”
Subaru did not return the innkeeper’s courtesy, slamming his fist on the desk to drive his question home.
“What happened to the blue-haired girl who came here with me?!”
The innkeeper reacted with surprise. Seeing Subaru’s expression, he raised his hands in an attempt to mollify him.
“D-dear guest… Please calm down; you will disturb the other patrons…”
“Answer me! Where is she…? Where did Rem go?!”
“Y-your companion… Who came with you on…the dragon carriage late last night…?”
“That’s not an answer!”
Cowed by Subaru’s threatening demeanor, the innkeeper practically shouted his reply.
“Hear me out!! She left during the night! She left on the same dragon carriage you came in on! She paid for your stay and left a bag for you on the way out! She actually paid enough for you to lodge here for several days, so there is no problem whatsoe—”
“No…problem…you say?”
The innkeeper had tried to take care not to provoke Subaru, but the words he chose enraged him further.
“There damn well…is a problem!!”
Raising an angry voice, Subaru slammed his arm against the bag on top of the counter and clutched his head.
Welling up inside him was distrust. Doubt. Anger. Sadness. The irrational feelings wrestled with one another in his head as Subaru tore at his black hair and looked up to the sky.
“Rem… What… What the hell are you thinking…?!”
The fact that even the person who knew him best had failed to understand him weighed down on him as he wailed in despair.
Sub-chapter 6.
To Subaru.
By the time you read this letter, you will no doubt be quite angry with me.
I will not ask you to forgive me for leaving you to head for the manor. However, please understand.
It is dangerous to bring you to the mansion as you are now. I am thinking not only of the state of the mansion but the state of your body, Subaru.
Therefore, please wait for me here in Fleur village. I will be back for you when everything is taken care of.
I have left behind all the money. I have already paid the innkeeper thoroughly, so you can stay for several days without any trouble.
Please take care of yourself, and please wait until I return—I beg you.
—From, Your Rem
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Diamond. Diamond. Diamond.
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