Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World – Vol. 11 Ch. 3

Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World. Volume. 11.

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‘Chapter 3:- FRIEND.’

 
Sub-chapter 1.

He heard a deluge-like sound, like that of a muddy stream.

It was a ferocious watery sound. It coursed downward, obeying the power of gravity, obeying the flow, obeying its destiny: a waterfall.

Inside his ears, or perhaps his skull, it echoed with a ceaseless roar. The ferocious muddy stream seemed to churn his very brain, even as it led Subaru’s consciousness from oblivion to awareness.

“a, eh, goho!”

Subaru retched, feeling like his throat was clogged, which was totally throwing off the rhythm of his breathing.

Breathe in the air, blow it back out. Having completely forgotten how to repeat those alternating actions, he convulsed like a fish on land, and as drool trickled out, Subaru returned to life.

“Gahu! Aha!”

He was in a facedown position, collapsed on the ground. Putting his arms on the hard floor, Subaru was seemingly prostrate as he forced oxygen and comprehension into his lungs, remembering the procedure for breathing once more.

The pain softened, and he spat out the saliva that no longer had anyplace to go. Then, when his body calmed down and recovered its grip on reality, his oxygen-deprived brain came around—his mind was restored.

“D-did I…die…?”

Wheezing as he murmured, he confirmed a fact that needed no checking: he had Returned by Death.

No, he didn’t need to check whether he had Returned by Death, for that was Subaru’s worth. It wasn’t important that he had gone back—rather, when and where he had gone back to were the most critical.

“Ah…”

Lifting his head, Subaru squinted at his surroundings when he immediately realized it.

It was a darkness he remembered, a darkness he knew. It was the stone room of a tomb, the cold air holding an otherworldly ambience. The darkness hovering over the roughly constructed stone floor extended to a stone door leading deeper within.

—And lying on her side, collapsed right beside Subaru, was a lovely, silver-haired girl.

“Emilia…”

Wiping the light sweat off his brow, he stared in the dark at Emilia’s sleeping face, her suffering clear upon it. Having confirmed that much, Subaru finally managed to accept the situation.

The time passed, the life lost, the impending calamity, the unbelievable betrayal—one after another, everything that had happened crashed against him like waves, driving Subaru’s heart into a corner.

“No change in the restart point…!”

It was the place right after he had overcome his past—and there, Subaru Natsuki had returned.

In exchange for being unable to take anything back, he had returned to a place where he had not yet lost everything.

“H—aa.”

The moment he abruptly came to understand that fact, relief spread through Subaru’s chest.

The left hand he’d unwittingly touched to his chest wasn’t crushed. It was fine. When he looked at his right wrist, Petra’s pure white handkerchief was still wrapped around it, not a trace of blood to be seen.

Knowing this, he let out a long, deep breath, patting his chest with relief—and then, he was shocked.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“……nn, aa”

He was shocked at his own nerve, checking that he was all right, not at all concerned by the sight of Emilia suffering.

That very moment, Emilia was being tormented, crushed by the past from the Trial. No matter how long her pain continued, nothing good would come of it. Subaru knew that it was a time of hardship, and nothing more.

And yet, just then, setting his eyes on the girl’s pain, he had patted his chest in relief.

—As if the fact Emilia was suffering at the time of his return was a good thing.

“That’s, not…the thought process of a sane person…”

Swallowing back his lamenting voice and gritting his teeth, Subaru flared in anger at his own ugliness and fragility.

If he put the people precious to him, the things precious to him, the things he ought to prioritize, on the back burner, how could he save anyone?

Had not that foolish way of living invited the calamity at the mansion?

“Anyway, Emilia first…”

Right then, putting the situation in order, confirming that he’d Returned by Death, and devising countermeasures against issues and obstacles could wait. Right then, he had to wake Emilia from her nightmare, console her as she cried, and bring her outside.

That was the right thing to do— And by doing so, he would preserve the sequence of events.

“Deal with things the right way, one at a time…”

He had to rescue everyone from that terrifying, calamitous fate.

Setting his heart, hardening his resolve, he was filled with determination as he reached a hand out to wake Emilia up. As he did this, there was something that Subaru himself still did not realize…

His face was entirely devoid of any emotion.

Sub-chapter 2.

After Emilia awakened in the tomb, developments differed little from what had come before.

Tormented by the past, Emilia was confused by grief and remorse as Subaru brought her outside. There, he met with Ram and Garfiel, both of whom were present when they had entered the tomb together, and returned to their temporary lodging.

“? What is wrong, Barusu? You’re staring at Ram’s face.”

“…Nothing at all. I just think you have a pretty face.”

“How indecent.”

Taking Subaru’s apology for staring at her during the walk back from the tomb, Ram snorted with a reproachful gaze.

Having Returned by Death, it went without saying, but Ram looked fine upon their reunion. Without anyone knowing, that fact brought him relief, and the gaze and sharp-tongued reply she sent back at him brought further relief still.

“”

Carrying Emilia to her bedroom at the Ryuzu residence, their temporary accommodation, was the most he could do as a man. With Emilia’s heart in pain from the nightmares she had seen, he gently laid her in bed.

“aa”

Emilia was lying on her side when Subaru took his hand away. Her voice trickled out at the loss of his touch. With worry on her face, Subaru smiled at her to set her at ease, after which he left everything to Ram.

That night, it was fine to leave Emilia to Ram. She’d do a good job calming Emilia down.

During that time, there was something Subaru ought to be doing. And that was—

“—The discussion that Roswaal promised.”

Roswaal had established a seat for Subaru to speak with him on the first night Emilia challenged the Trial. Last time, Subaru had used that opportunity to propose returning to the mansion in the morning. In accordance with his request, he’d returned to the mansion at maximum speed, and the result was a calamitous failure.

Subaru had saved no one. Subsequently, he’d returned with a number of pressing questions—

“—Mr. Natsuki? Mr. Natsuki, are you listening?”

“…Sorry, wasn’t listening.”

He was leaning his back against a building, concentrating on his own thoughts, when his mind was summoned back to reality. When he looked over, it was Otto, brows furrowed in a questioning look, who had called out to him.

The place was outside the Ryuzu residence. In the middle of the night, with no light save that of a bonfire and the stars, Subaru was putting his thoughts in order for the coming conversation with Roswaal.

“So what did you want to talk to me about, using up valuable time like that?”

“The way this man speaks really takes the wind out of one’s sails…! …I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask me what?”

“I simply mean, right now, are things…all right?”

When Otto repeated his question, that time it was Subaru’s turn to put on a questioning look. He thought it was obvious that if someone was listening to you, it was, by definition, all right to ask.”

Perhaps surmising what was in Subaru’s mental space, Otto went, “Ah, not like that,” waving a hand as he continued.

“By ‘all right,’ I am not asking about the time. I mean, Mr. Natsuki, you seem very…busy, so I imagine your time is very precious at the moment…”

“Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. Right now, I don’t even have time to worry about Emilia-tan. So I don’t really have time to shoot the breeze with…”

“—That is precisely what I wish to speak with you about.”

Tapering his lips at Otto’s roundabout speech, Subaru tried to swiftly cut off the conversation. But instead, Otto bit on Subaru’s words like a hook, continuing with his own.

“If I may, Mr. Natsuki? You brought Lady Emilia out after something happened inside the tomb. I imagine your head is something of a mess from things I know nothing of, but I shall ask nonetheless.”

“? Yeah, ask away.”

“Then, without further ado— Mr. Natsuki, are you all right?”

All that lead-in and that’s your question, thought Subaru, seriously perplexed.

That said, it wasn’t that he couldn’t understand Otto’s concern. Emilia had gone into the same tomb and had fallen into a panic as a result. He could understand Otto suspecting some anomaly befalling Subaru as well.

Hence—

“Of course, I’m full of pep and in super-duper condition. With Emilia like that I understand why you’d be worried, but I’m fine. Besides, does anything look wrong with me?”

“…No, nothing looks wrong with you. You appear very calm.”

“You see? Then…”

“Particularly, with Lady Emilia in that condition. Does that not suggest a particularly grave state?”

When Subaru tried to assert there was no problem, Otto’s follow-up put his words on lockdown.

“”

Otto narrowed his eyes, peering intently into Subaru’s black pupils.

He was concerned for Subaru’s current mental state. Certainly, in his current state, knowing future circumstances gave Subaru a sense of the past being prolonged that Otto could never share. Where he was seeing things for the first time, Subaru was seeing them for the third, and the effect of that gap was that Subaru took things far more mentally calmly than he.

“So you think I’m too calm about this, then.”

“Yes, exactly. I do not think it is a bad thing. Just…”

“—Nah, thanks to you I feel more confident about this. Thanks, Otto.”

“Eh?”

Interrupting Otto, Subaru leisurely shook his head side to side. Considering the situation Subaru had been placed in, the composure Otto had drawn attention to was something deserving a warm welcome.

“It’s proof I can still have composed thoughts about things after everything that’s happened.”

“Er, I believe there is an exceptionally large and deep chasm between seeing things calmly and taking composed actions…”

Otto seemed left in the dust as he said it; perhaps the conversation had gone awry from what he had sought. But for Subaru’s part, the exchange with him had deepened his own confidence.

Even after that tragedy in the mansion, with anger burning in the deepest depths of his mind, his head was still working.

“I’m going up against Roswaal. This time, ain’t no place for letting him give me the slip.”

He’d had it with how Roswaal ducked and weaved, concealing the things he knew during their conversations. At the very least, he had innumerable things he wanted to ask Roswaal that time around.

He absolutely wouldn’t let Roswaal behave like last time, holding back about Beatrice, among other things—

“—Heya, got a moment?”

Just when he was determined anew, someone interrupted his conversation with Otto.

Holed up in the entrance of the de facto boarding house, poking his head out their way, was Garfiel. When he clacked his canine teeth and walked over, Subaru rubbed his own nose and said,

“Garfiel, huh… You really just don’t stick to one pattern, do you?”

“Ahhh? The hell ya talkin’ about?”

“Talking to myself. About how it’s tough dealing with someone who has as many whims as a kitty cat.”

Subaru’s attempt to gloss things over made Garfiel sourly crinkle his nose.

Subaru had assessed Garfiel to be as whimsical as a cat, and that was not wholly untrue. That night was taking place a third time for Subaru, and Garfiel’s attitude had changed each time.

Of course, alterations in the actions committed by Subaru changed others as well, such as Emilia, in subtle ways. However, Garfiel’s changes deserved special mention.

His opinions reversed course, his like or dislike flipped on its head, and reasonable positions in conversation were replaced with obstinate ones. The changes were such that Subaru almost started doubting that he was dealing with the same person.

This time, Garfiel’s going out of his way to come over and speak to him was further evidence.

“And there last time you’d have headed right off if I hadn’t called out… Besides, what’d you wanna talk to me about? I have important business after this.”

“Business, ya mean wicked schemin’ with that bastard, don’t ya? Don’t think that’ll be fun.”

“I’m offended you’re treating it as wicked scheming. Well, I won’t argue about the not-fun part, though.”

“I must say, you two are saying quite some things about the Marquis…”

As far as distrust of Roswaal was concerned, Subaru and Garfiel held a mutual opinion.

Subaru could sympathize with Otto, who had yet to have his first contact with Roswaal, seeing them both take that attitude. Subaru’s shoulders slumped in exasperation at the naiveté of Otto’s view.

“You just don’t get it, Otto. This Roswaal guy, he’s a man who pokes you in all kinds of places. If you don’t understand that, his pokes’ll wear you down to death.”

“Right now, you are speaking seriously? Or is this something safe to ignore?”

“You wanna talk seriously about that bastard Roswaal…? Bro, are ya all right in the head…?”

“And this time you are concerned for me?! The problem is not with the Marquis?!”

“I’m telling you, that’s just the kind of guy he is.”

Having been told so much, Otto was finally beginning to worry seriously about just whom he was trying to gain an audience with. He folded his arms, mumbling this and that about preparing to encounter the genuine article.

“My worries grow and grow, and this is the only way for a turnaround with one blow… No, no, but my very life depends on facing this man, yet the people who are his allies say such things about him…”

“Well, take your time worrying, okay? You’re not talking to him tonight, at least.”

Considering the issue of Roswaal’s scheduled conversation with Subaru right after that, it was a virtual impossibility that he would allow Otto to greet him at that juncture. Besides, Subaru didn’t really have any time to spare for that.

He probably didn’t have the time to loosen the corners of his lips and forget his worries about the future just a little, as he was doing right then, either.

“So then. It’s not bad for three guys to talk stupid stuff, but what did you want? What’d you wanna talk about?”

“Ohh, forgot ’bout that. It’s like, ‘Kukuruu was so thoughtless.’”

Garfiel clapped his hands together when Subaru dragged the straying conversation back and prodded him toward the real topic. However, he went, “But y’know,” his jade eyes shooting a meaningful glance Otto’s way as he carried on.

“Ahhh, you want the Bro here to hear this too? I’ll leave that up to whatever judgment ya make.”

“…If you’re leading in like that, it’s something related to the Sanctuary, right?”

“What else did ya think I’d be talkin’ to ya about…?”

“I thought you might’ve wanted to do some research on Ram… How she likes guys that have the three heights: high back, high station, high education. Also, makeup like a clown.”

“Stop it… I don’t wanna hear it, and if I do it’ll depress me…”

As the man seemed genuinely distressed, Subaru relented in his verbal assault, granting him a warrior’s mercy.

Either way, he was grateful for Garfiel’s consideration. It wasn’t as if he could forget on the verge of a huge appointment, but the prospect of involving Otto in their faction’s issues left him feeling uneasy.

At the end of the day, Otto was someone who’d simply been caught up in these events, a bystander who was supposed to be eventually returned to his normal life safe and sound.

“So we’re gonna be talkin’ love stories from here on out. The night’s late, so go on ahead and stay at the Cathedral, ’kay? Your business rivals are there with the villagers they evacuated, y’know.”

“Uu…if someone who knows me saw me acting so impertinently, I would be mocked for sure…! Er, that is not the point! Now listen here, Mr. Natsuki, I…”

“—Wait.”

Otto’s face flipped from pathetic to clingy as he advanced a step. But Subaru cut him off, taking the wind out of his sails. Subaru could understand Otto’s desire to get involved in Subaru and company’s circumstances to make a better impression upon Roswaal. But—

“Please, Otto. See you again tomorrow.”

“Gnnnn… U-understood. I shall behave, sleeping as my small-fry competitors laugh at me!”

Discerning that Subaru’s obstinate posture would not falter, Otto ruefully took off his hat, gently squishing it in his grip as he walked off in the Cathedral’s direction.

The sight of him from behind, shoulders slumped in dejection, somehow came off as well-done heart-tugging acting.

“That lonely-looking back suits that guy pretty well…”

“Me, I think that, too, but are ya all right with this?”

“It’s fine. I’d sleep worse if anything happened to him.”

When Subaru, watching Otto recede in the distance, made that reply, Garfiel twisted his neck. Then, he went, “Well, fine,” tossing the thought aside as he gave Subaru’s shoulder a light pat.

“Something I wanna talk to ya about. I’m switchin’ places, so come on.”

With that, and an attitude that wouldn’t take no for an answer, Garfiel walked off without waiting for a reply. Watching his back, Subaru scratched his head, reluctantly following as he murmured to himself.

“Gimme a break… Another different development, geez.”

Sub-chapter 3.

As Garfiel walked ahead, Subaru followed in his wake and trudged deeper into the woods.

It was common knowledge that forests were dangerous at night. And among them, Subaru had heard that the Lost Woods of Cremaldi were particularly perilous. That alone made him somewhat apprehensive about the stroll.

“Just don’t leave me alone out here, ’kay? I’m begging you.”

“Hey don’t say depressin’ stuff like that. It’s just a damned forest at night.”

“There’s a lot of people who think ‘just a damned forest at night’ is a lot more dangerous than you do. This goes for holding up in a fight, too, but I don’t have a nose that can pick up outsiders from a long range like you do.”

“Ha, you mean during daylight? Who’da thought ya still had a grudge over that?”

“Nah, not particularly. Otto’s forehead was the only thing that took real damage anyway…”

Besides, from Subaru’s perspective, the events during the daytime were days and days ago. Even if Otto was a close friend of Subaru’s, it would be too long a period for Subaru to sustain his anger.

“Besides, he’s not a close friend of mine. I’m the guy who saved his life; that’s about it.”

“That bro’s had it rough, too, huh…”

Subaru let the comment, sympathetic to Otto for some reason, slide as he took a good look at Garfiel.

He was short in stature, and while he looked slender, his flesh was supple and well honed. In the end, his stature wasn’t radically off from what made sense for human beings, but Subaru couldn’t put much stock in that personal perspective. In the first place, in that world, shape and form didn’t correspond with physical ability whatsoever. After all, even Rem, with her small frame, could whip around an iron ball.

Accordingly, at that juncture, Subaru had a different thought aimed at Garfiel’s back.

“—How long has it been since you’ve met Frederica?”

When the sentence suddenly sliced in, Garfiel’s shoulders made a visible jump of surprise.

He’d already confirmed that Frederica and Garfiel were related as older sister and younger brother. He’d also heard from the people concerned that their relationship was not harmonious.

It was just, he understood next to nothing about Frederica’s stance toward the Sanctuary. At the very least, she’d engaged in a duel to the death with Elsa. The possibility of Frederica having invited Elsa into the mansion was zero— More importantly, there was definitely some other mover-and-shaker who ought to be topping his suspect list.

So to chalk up Frederica as an ally to a very firm extent, among other reasons—

“…And why the hell do I gotta talk to someone like you ’bout somethin’ like that?”

“I just thought I’d ask and see. Figured if I did, you might actually give me an answer.”

“Ha! Thought I talked about that to ya this mornin’, too. That one ain’t got no relation to anyone here on the inside. She left this place. Ain’t related in any way.”

“Yeah, about that.”

What Garfiel, without turning in his direction, seemed to chew up and spit out, Subaru picked right back up. Ever since he’d learned of the relationship between Frederica and Garfiel, it kept tugging at him.

“Garfiel, I know you and Frederica are brother and sister.”

“…Shit, someone’s loose-lipped. The bastard, or Ram maybe?”

“Not something worth hiding, is it? Besides, it’s thanks to that I’m wondering about something now. If you and Frederica are siblings, Frederica has to be mixed, too. So why is she outside?”

“”

The barrier that enveloped the Sanctuary sealed demi-humans of mixed blood—the so-called “mixed”—inside.

Accordingly, Emilia, Garfiel, and the others were held captive by the barrier, and it was in search of liberation from this that the scheme to challenge the Trial was hatched. At the very least, that was how Ryuzu’s explanation portrayed it.

Therefore, it was strange that Frederica, related to Garfiel by blood, was not held captive by the barrier.

“The fact that she isn’t means that there’s some kind of loophole. If you know of one, can you tell me about it?”

“And what if I told ya? The barrier ain’t openin’ up unless the Trial’s beaten. That ain’t changin’.”

“I just want to know. If I know, our choices increase. I’m the type of guy who wants to cram every bit of info in his head to figure out a way to clear stuff.”

“”

During the time they spoke, Garfiel never looked back, so Subaru could not read his emotions. It was just the oppressive sense conveyed by his back that told Subaru the expression on his face was not a pleasant one. Even so, the fact that Garfiel, a man of short temper, had not cut the conversation off meant he was unsure— That thought was probably Subaru’s bias at work.

“…Here we are.”

Rather than replying directly to Subaru, Garfiel said that while shoving aside vines blocking his path. During their conversation, the pair had continued to walk, apparently reaching their destination before Subaru could get an answer to his question.

That said, leaving the current back-and-forth with an ambiguous finish put Subaru in a bind, but—

“—Could you please not tease Young Gar too much, Young Su?”

Subaru opened his mouth, but before he could press for an answer, a young voice was cast his way. When he looked, he could tell there was an open space in the forest beyond the vines Garfiel was moving aside.

This place, a natural spectacle of light from the waning moon and the stars pouring down, engendered a surreal, almost phantasmal air. The beautiful girl standing under the moonlight and starlight only added to that sense.

“…But I will comment that your outward appearance is too young to be my type.”

“For a lad, you have quite a venomous tongue. Are you trying to compete with Young Ros for Most Uncharming Child?”

“Come on, that’s going too far. Not giving up on being charming is one of my charms.”

Subaru made a pained smile at the various harsh assessments, as he stepped into the moonlit clearing. If he was facing just Garfiel, lowering his guard seemed a poor move but—

“If there’s a guarantor with him, that’s a different story, huh.”

Clicking his tongue with the air of a pout, Garfiel cut past Subaru’s flank and went straight to the center of the clearing. He went beside the girl standing there—the ephemeral individual called Ryuzu. Subaru smiled a bit at how both stood at seemingly prearranged places, but that was when he sensed something was off.

Ryuzu’s clothes were not the black outfit she wore at the inn, but a white, hooded robe.

“Er, Ryuzu, did you change your outfit?”

“This is a difficult time for someone my age, you see. Unfortunately, I am not a night owl like you, Young Su…”

“I watch late-night anime, so I’m not suffering, but…you wanted to see me, Ryuzu?”

“I do not mind if you take it as such. Young Gar is serving as my escort.”

When Ryuzu nodded in apparent confirmation, Garfiel stood still, arms folded. Closing one eye, his demeanor seemingly broadcasting that he wouldn’t butt in, Subaru lightly tilted his face up.

Overhead, a gentle breeze blew. He heard the sound of the leaves shaking, and the stars glimmered in the clear sky above.

“…This is a nice place. It’s like a secret base here in the forest.”

“’Tis merely an open field. It is altogether too empty to be called a base, is it not? …Though perhaps that is why I feel so comfortable in this place.”

“Anyway, it’s a relaxing place for you, Ryuzu? Guess we’re getting along really well in half a day for you to be inviting me to a place like this. Guess I’m close to a chance for you to divulge your secrets?”

“You are speaking in a rather good mood.”

With a neutral look on her face, and only her choice of words showing her age, Ryuzu was gentle during the exchange. That said, Subaru and the two of them had experienced a far different period of time. Considering only half a day’s time had passed for Ryuzu and Garfiel, it was far too optimistic to think they had opened their hearts to him. There had to be some reason behind their actions.

“Garfiel’s whims…ended up relieving his suspicions of me…maybe?”

That was about all he could come up with as a cause for the change in Garfiel’s response.

Garfiel had changed each time around, but each being a change for the worse had really put Subaru in a bind. This time things were turning in the right direction. If that was so, he wanted a suitable return on his investment.

“Either way, I’m happy we’re having a meaningful conversation…a friendly match before the war of words with Roswaal that’s coming.”

“The baggage Young Ros bears is heavy by its nature. Well, I suppose I shall strive to live up to your expectations.”

Ryuzu said it with the nuance of a pained smile as she slapped her own hips. Naturally, Subaru didn’t think she needed to play the part of an old woman that far, but he set that aside and proposed a different matter for debate. Namely—

“Earlier, I asked Garfiel this question, but maybe you could answer, Ryuzu?”

“…The reason Frederica could depart the Sanctuary, was it? You heard this from Young Gar as well, but what do you intend to do with the knowledge, Young Su?”

“I don’t think my answer’s changing either, namely that I’ll think about that once I hear it. But…maybe this, then?”

Frederica, who’d slipped out of the barrier using some kind of exception, showed no special signs of bearing any penalty from it. If it was possible to create a loophole he could make applicable to all residents of the Sanctuary, then…

“I’d use that to bring all of the Sanctuary’s people outside the barrier. During the day it got rejected because it’d leave people soulless shells, but if this worked, it’d be okay without having to take the Trial, right?”

“According to logic, perhaps. However, the Trial is obstinate. Evading it is…”

“I don’t want to make Emilia take the Trial. That’s completely me being selfish, though.”

“”

When Subaru lightly scratched his cheek and made that reply, the ends of Ryuzu’s eyebrows fell in apprehension.

Tormented by the past, Emilia would continue to face the Trial and suffer, unable to surpass it. At the very least, Subaru knew that would continue for several days, if not longer.

“From the looks of it, I really don’t think she can overcome her past. So I don’t want to let her do it.”

“In terms of the Trial, perhaps that is for the best. But one does not choose the time and occasion for one’s troubles. Days of tranquility are not necessarily fated to continue. One cannot continue to flee from facing one’s troubles forever…”

“I’m not talking about forever. I’m talking about a retreat to prepare for facing it properly…one of those so-called strategic retreats. Ryuzu, just as you said, there’s times when you have to face trouble on disadvantageous ground…but shouldn’t a person work hard so you don’t have to?”

As Ryuzu continued her explanation, Subaru replied to her words to justify running away. This was because, at the very least, Subaru didn’t think there was any shame in turning your back on something. More than that, if, for instance, Emilia turned her back on her current troubles, there was absolutely no way that was enough to finish her.

“Even if it’s not now, Emilia will definitely be able to face her past someday. The Trial made her remember that stuff. So Emilia has to make a choice, whether to overcome it or to forget it. That being the case, it’s my role to knock down as much stuff blocking her way as I can.”

“…Even if one tries to run, one can never escape the most trying times of all.”

“I’m saying this ’cause I totally believe she can beat this without running away.”

He didn’t know if it was a suitable conclusion to the conversation, but Subaru smiled as he said it nonetheless. His smiling face, teeth on display, made some kind of deep impression on Ryuzu as she narrowed her eyes.

Perhaps the elder who didn’t look her age was laughing at the idealism that smacked of youth.

“—Old hag, ya got bad taste.”

The one offering those blunt words was Garfiel, standing there with his arms folded, silent last Subaru had checked. He opened the eye he had previously kept closed, glancing at the youthful elder right beside him as he said,

“I’m tellin’ ya. It’s just like Gaddgii Guaddzeadd the Hermit.”

“I’m grateful, but same as usual, I don’t have one clue what you’re sayin’ to me.”

“What Young Gar wishes to say is, there is no such convenient loophole. I was in the wrong to allow you to jump to such conclusions, a bad habit of the elderly.”

Breaking down the mystery phrase, Ryuzu twirled her pink hair around her finger. Taking in her reply, Subaru gave her a look that pressed his request for a more detailed explanation.

“In the end, it is because Frederica is an exception that she was able to go outside the barrier. She does not fulfill the conditions for being held captive by the barrier. Accordingly, she was able to leave. That is all it is.”

“Conditions for being held captive by the barrier? Is there something besides being mixed?”

“No, it is not so. That is the only condition to be held captive by the barrier. There are no exceptions.”

Even though Subaru was reflecting on her first roundabout statement, Ryuzu made an even more roundabout one that made him knit his brows.

Unraveling her statements, there was no change in the condition for the barrier encircling the Sanctuary. In other words, it wasn’t an issue with the barrier; it was an issue with Frederica. For it to be true that Frederica wasn’t caught by the barrier… “That means Frederica can’t be mixed?”

“Strictly speaking, the barrier fundamentally discerns mixed blood based on the ‘thickness’ of the blood. If one thickly carries both human and demi-human blood, he or she is held captive by the barrier. However…”

“If you’re less than half…like, a quarter or something, the barrier doesn’t work on you? Meaning…”

Breaking off his words, Subaru looked Garfiel’s way. His lips were twisted, and making a sour face, he clicked his fangs and went, “That’s right,” continuing his words with,

“Me an’ Frederica have different fathers—Me, I’m Garfiel Tinzel. She oughta have called herself by a different family name.”

The family name that Garfiel had not invoked even once before bolstered Subaru’s deduction.

The family name Garfiel claimed was certainly different from that of Frederica, who had introduced herself to Subaru and others as Frederica Baumann.

“So Frederica’s blood is thin… That’s why she could get outside the barrier.”

“She was the child of a human mother and a mixed-blood father. Accordingly, she is free to enter and leave the forest.”

“Ha! Free to enter and leave? Don’t make me laugh!”

When Ryuzu nodded gravely and murmured, Garfiel snarled in annoyance. He touched his fist to the white scar on his forehead, the pupils of his jade eyes narrowing.

“Enters and exits, my ass. She ain’t come back once in ten years, right? Frederica abandoned this place. That’s why that woman has nothin’ to do with it anymore.”

“Young Gar…”

Spitting the words out, Garfiel averted his eyes with a bitter look on his face. The youth curled his back, reducing his short frame even further, whereupon Ryuzu stretched and gave his shoulder one good smack.

After that, Ryuzu turned toward Subaru anew and spoke again.

“That is how it is. I am sorry to have dragged out a fruitless conversation.”

“…Nah, that’s fine. Certainly it wipes out one choice, but it beats keeping one on the list that can’t ever be used. But that leaves the Trial in the end, huh?”

He couldn’t claim not to have been disappointed. But his current words were no mere bluff, either. There was no disadvantage to learning more about the complicated situation between Garfiel and Frederica.

But having made a loop around that issue, he’d ended up right back at the topic with which they had started.

Breaking through the Trial was indispensable to liberate the Sanctuary—when he saw that, he felt like amorphous Fate was laughing down at him.

However, this time wouldn’t end with Fate laughing at his expense.

“Ryuzu, Garfiel. Actually, I have a proposal.”

“…Proposal, meaning what?”

“I have to talk to Roswaal, too, and I need Emilia’s consent for this also…but I’ll talk to you two about it first. It’s a really important issue, so I’d appreciate if you didn’t talk about it to anyone else.”

Touching a raised finger to his lips, Subaru implored Garfiel and Ryuzu. That preamble brought questioning looks from the pair, but he owed them at least that much advance warning.

“”

Last time around, the attack on the mansion had proven Frederica’s innocence. However, she had yet to reveal the mastermind who had brought about the teleportation. Frederica didn’t know of the existence of the “militants,” but it was difficult to think that the manipulator was unrelated to that faction.

Accordingly, if Subaru’s proposal leaked, that would provide an opening the mastermind could take advantage of. For that sake, he wanted to divulge the information only to the Sanctuary’s two representatives in absolute confidence.

“Can you promise me that?”

“A promise, you say? Did you not say that this was a difficult word for you, Young Su?”

“Various circumstances have made me hate stuff like pacts or vows more and more, yeah. But promises are different. Someone’s convinced me those are things you have to uphold, so… Both of you, please.”

He didn’t mind if it was an oral promise. Subaru trusted that neither of the two would say no.

To Subaru, the seeker of that promise, the pair fell silent for a time. But in place of the wordless Garfiel, Ryuzu made an elderly-sounding sigh and nodded.

“Understood. As you wish, we shall not speak of it to others. Speak of what you will.”

“Big help. Thanks.”

Thanking Ryuzu for her acquiescence, Subaru shifted his eyes toward Garfiel as well. He remained wordless, but he did not object. Taking his demeanor as acceptance, Subaru continued.

“I want to talk about the Trial. When I said earlier that I don’t want Emilia, I meant it. I want both of you to accept that.”

“Ah? Like hell. If the Princess ain’t takin’ it then what happens with the barrier, huh? Cryin’ scared of old stories as much as ya want, the barrier ain’t gonna yie…”

“I get that. So I’ll take the Trial in her place— How about that?”

“”

As Garfiel bared his fangs, Subaru interrupted him and showed the card in his hand.

The contents made Garfiel’s eyes open wide, and though Ryuzu had a neutral expression, her cheeks seemed to harden. Faced with the pair’s reactions, Subaru explained what had happened at the tomb.

“When I went into the tomb to help Emilia, I was safe and sound, right? That’s because I had the qualifications to take the Trial…and more to the point, because I broke through the Trial.”

“Ya overcame the Trial…?!!”

He was reproducing the conversation they’d had after carrying Emilia to the Ryuzu residence. That time, too, Garfiel had been similarly surprised at Subaru’s qualifications.

Given that, Subaru also anticipated the reaction coming from Ryuzu, standing right beside him.

“You’re thinking this makes things complicated, Ryuzu?”

“I cannot dispute a single word, let alone the entire sentence. However, I do understand what you are saying, Young Su.”

Unlike Garfiel, who had yet to recover from his surprise, Ryuzu looked like she’d quickly absorbed the impact. Even so, she seemed to be mulling a variety of things as Garfiel glanced toward her, bewilderment in his eyes.

It was a glance seemingly in search of a judgment. Receiving this, Ryuzu exhaled slightly.

And then—

“Young Su, I too have something important to speak with you about.”

“What is it?”

“That, here and now, I must ask you to behave yourself, Young Su.”

“Huh?”

Yes? Or no?

Having been given no responses other than those, Subaru was catastrophically late in comprehending the words making his eardrums tremble. No, it was not that he was late—simply that he didn’t understand in time.

After all—

“—G, uu?!”

“Don’t thrash around, ’kay? Or I’ll just have to hurt ya more.”

As Subaru stood still, it was Garfiel who grasped his neck, hoisting him aloft.

Garfiel used his exceptional strength to leave Subaru’s legs floating in the air, and his grip put enough pressure on Subaru’s throat that he could barely breathe.

“K, a, ku…na, a…!”

“‘Why,’ you seem to be asking. However, I do not ask for your forgiveness.”

Slowly shaking her head from side to side, Ryuzu somehow seemed lonely as she spoke the words.

He didn’t understand the reason why. Why, all of a sudden, was this act of violence being committed against—

“I shall uphold my promise. I shall tell no one— This, I swear upon the name of Ryuzu Shima.”

She grew distant. Both what Ryuzu was saying, and the voice with which she said it.

In its place, his mind focused on the heat from Garfiel’s hand, evaporating along the border between reality and dream.

It was as if the strings holding him up were snapping one by one— Where had he gone wrong?

Within the darkness, still comprehending nothing, Subaru’s mind flipped over and fell.

Sub-chapter 4.

—The first thing that tugged at the edge of his mind was the repeating sound of water droplets.

“”

The water drops fell at regular, rhythmic intervals, which, in that soundless space, seemed like a roaring cacophony. In accordance with that hallucination, his sleeping brain resumed activity, and he keenly felt blood coursing through the entirety of his body. As that blood coursed, he strongly felt numbness in his hands and feet, and when he tried to squirm around—he could not.

“?!!”

That was the moment his mind instantly awakened, and Subaru reclaimed his own existence. At the same time, he reconfirmed that which was not natural: he could not see the presumably visible world, and his presumably mobile limbs could not move.

—Had his eyes been mangled, and his hands and feet lopped off?!

The worst of possibilities rose into the back of his brain, but before he could despair at the hasty conclusion, he noticed the oppressive sensation over his head.

The tightness he felt around both of his eyes was probably a blindfold. Similarly, his hands and feet were likely tied to render them unable to move. He felt the backs of his hands were tied; his ankles were firmly bound as well.

And there was a gag in his mouth. At that point, he could comprehend it, like it or not—He was imprisoned.

“”

Though confused at the sudden circumstance, Subaru used his brain to somehow understand the present situation.

Unless the Return by Death point had changed, he would begin again at the same restart point: the stonework room in the tomb. In other words, his current predicament had nothing to do with Return by Death. Therefore, it was related to the events that had occurred just before he blacked out—

“”

He’d headed for the woods with Garfiel, and in the middle of conversing with Ryuzu, he’d been mugged—

“—From the looks of it, ya just woke up. Lucky, ain’t ya.”

It happened right after Subaru’s memory came back, allowing him to grasp the present circumstance.

A voice descended from right above, almost as if it had been waiting for that exact moment. Subaru, belly down on the floor, lifted his head, and though unable to see, he was able to guess the other party’s position as he called out.

“A—i—u…”

“Not sure what ya even sayin’, but it’s probably my name. Hold on a sec. I’m takin’ the gag out right now. I’ll tell ya in advance, ain’t no point callin’ for help.”

He felt footsteps drawing near. Someone right beside him audibly squatted down, touching his hand to Subaru’s mouth. The hand undid the tightly tied gag, freeing Subaru’s jaw and tongue.

“There we…”

“—Anyone!! I’m over here!! Save me!!”

“Gah?! Why you, I told ya not to shout!!”

When Subaru broke the admonition the instant he was free to do so, his jaw was closed by force. His cheekbones creaked under the strength of Garfiel’s grip. Subaru managed not to moan from the pain as he said, “L-like there’s one prisoner told not to call for help who wouldn’t……!”

“Shout in anger or scream, it’ll do ya no good. This is a hideaway, no one in the Sanctuary is comin’. Of course, it ain’t nowhere close to the settlement. Look, keep yer mouth shut or I’ll gag ya again.”

Right up close, he butted foreheads with the presumably blindfolded Subaru while delivering the warning. Subaru gasped, taking his words as meaning that even if Subaru struggled, no one would come to his aid.

“Looks like yer gonna behave now. I don’t wanna hurt ya.”

He clicked his tongue, and the enmity coming from Garfiel stabbed into him. Showered in it, Subaru clenched his teeth, still needing to ask as to his true intent.

Why had he imprisoned Subaru? He had to ask, and that went for what Ryuzu was thinking, too.

“…First, can I ask where this is, in detail? I’d like to use it for reference when I escape.”

“Ha!! Man, ain’t you composed! I thought ya’d be shakin’ in yer boots. I think a tiny bit better o’ ya.”

“That’s ’cause I learned lately that chattering teeth get you nowhere. I’ll broaden my questions bit by bit until I make you answer one… How long did I sleep?”

“…That, I can answer. ’Bout half a day. It’s the middle of Fire Time.”

With Subaru negotiating from the palm of his hand, Garfiel lowered the tone of his voice as he replied.

With the state of his stomach, he could believe that half a day had passed. If that was the case, on the outside, Emilia ought to already have noticed Subaru’s absence and grown concerned, but—

“I have confidence I stand out enough no one would forget me in half a day. How did you fool everyone?”

“That ain’t a problem you need to worry about. Ya got somethin’ more important ya need to worry about— Or, maybe ya don’t?”

Abruptly, the tone of Garfiel’s voice grew graver. Behind his blindfold, Subaru knit his brows.

The power behind Garfiel’s words just then felt…off. They carried conviction, certainty. Garfiel was sure of something about Subaru, yet Subaru had no idea what that was.

Hence, Garfiel’s current statement felt very off to Subaru.

“Don’t play dumb at this point. Where are yer heroics now, huh?”

“…Sorry, but I seriously don’t know what you’re saying. If you’ve got something against me, could you just come out and say it? Just like Ram would.”

“Cheap trash talk there, damn it— And I just loooove cheap trash talk.”

Spitting out a sharp breath, Garfiel grabbed Subaru by the collar and lifted him up.

Subaru remained unable to move as his back was pressed against the cold, hard wall. He remained like that when he felt something sharp—probably one of Garfiel’s claws—touching against his throat.

“Not afraid o’ death, huh. You guys are all famous for bein’ messed up in the head, y’know.”

“W—ait… This seriously doesn’t add up… What are you accusing me o…”

“Don’t act dumb!! With that much miasma comin’ from inside yer body, you wanna say ya don’t know? Think that excuse’ll work, huh?—Like hell, Witch Cultist!!”

“H—uh?”

The claw strongly pressed in, and Subaru’s throat slightly tore. There was a faint, sharp pain to it, and he felt blood bubble up from the laceration, but Subaru had no mind to spare for pain.

Surprise and impact greater than it pounded into Subaru’s brain, exceeding his comprehension.

“The scent’s been thick on ya since the moment ya came out of the tomb. Buuuut, sometimes even normal guys have thick miasma. ‘The suspicious Pitero was acquitted.’ So I meant to do nothin’ to ya…but then, take the Trial for the Princess, huhhh?”

“”

“That ain’t funny. Who’d follow heartless words like yours, ya bastard fool!!”

“Heartless…?”

“Hell yeah. Ya used all those big fancy words, made this excuse ’n’ that, but where was there any concern for Lady Emilia in that attitude, huh? Ya got the same eyes as the jerk I hate the most. —Ya got eyes that don’t see anythin’, except yerself.”

He wished he could have shouted in a large voice, It’s all a big misunderstanding. But the deep emotion he’d felt just following Return by Death—at the fact he’d put his own relief upon ascertaining he’d Returned by Death before thinking about Emilia—prevented him from refuting Garfiel’s suspicions.

Furthermore, the searing words he had hurled made the back of Subaru’s mind recall a prior event: a past situation greatly resembling the present scene—

“A-a Witch’s miasma from my body…?”

“Thaaat’s right. Don’t ya dare try and act like ya didn’t know. It’s real bad in yer case.”

“…And when I…came out of the tomb, it was thicker…?”

It had changed because he had taken the Tri—no, because he had Returned by Death. Over the course of being revived by the power of the Witch, its color, its scent, thickened as it entwined around Subaru’s existence.

—Rem had called it the aroma…

“The lingering scent of the Witch…!”

“Ha!! An interestin’ name for it. It’s the stench of one smelly Witch!!”

The moment after he wrung out his voice, Garfiel violently hurled Subaru onto the floor.

Unable to break his fall, Subaru slammed shoulder-first with the floor. The dull pain would have made him let out a moan, but he forced it back inside, cursing the awfulness of his situation anew.

Once upon a time, it had been the trigger for Rem to suspect Subaru, and this had caused his death more than once.

—Once again, the lingering scent of the Witch reared its ugly head before Subaru to impede him once more.

“”

“What do ya wanna go into the tomb for? What are you plannin’? It’s a Witch’s tomb. Ain’t nothin’ good, that’s for sure.”

Every time he’d returned, he’d decided Garfiel’s shifts in attitude were based on whim. He was wrong.

The changes in Garfiel’s demeanor were based on the changes in the density of the miasma enveloping Subaru.

That was why, the first time around, when the miasma was thinnest around him, he’d proposed that Subaru clear the tomb, and why, ever since, as the density of the miasma increased, he became visibly distrustful of Subaru. It was also why, that time around, he had landed in a cell.

—And for Subaru, that fact meant his situation was bad to the extreme.

“”

His relationship with Garfiel had worsened because of Return by Death and would worsen further according to the number of times he did so. On top of that, with the restart point being the tomb, he was overwhelmingly short on time to improve that relationship.

When they’d first met, Rem had likewise viewed Subaru as dangerous due to the miasma, but even so, she deferred judgment while she kept him under her eye. But the short-tempered Garfiel would do no such thing.

If he saw the miasma enveloping Subaru as a danger, he wouldn’t flinch from instantly eliminating that danger.

“W-wait… if that’s so, why did you lock me in here…?”

“Huhhhh?”

“You said I’m abnormal… If you decided it’s dangerous to let me in the tomb, it’s…weird that you’d lock me in here like this. Why didn’t you get rid of me…?”

“Get rid of you! Hah! Man, stuff like that just rolls off yer tongue!!”

Subaru’s query drew a sharp exhale as Garfiel clicked his tongue in disgust.

“Me, if I could, I’d have done it already. But no can do.”

“Can’t do it…?”

“Because ya did a good job of wormin’ in with other people, that’s why. If I get hasty ’n’ lay a hand on ya, it’ll be an explosion like the Fall of Fort Tesla. No thanks.”

He used one of his frequent mystery phrases, but this time, he was able to understand the content based on what preceded and followed the statement. The outburst Garfiel feared was from people learning Subaru was not safe and sound—likely meaning Emilia and the people of Earlham Village rebelling against the Sanctuary.

But his seeing the danger in that meant—

“Your home’s not as whipped as you want, huh… To you, I’m a dangerous ingredient and a way to keep them in line, then?”

“A crafty lil’ bastard, ain’t ya. I suppose if ya weren’t, ya wouldn’t be acting so cunning either.”

The voice was very close. With Subaru on the floor, Garfiel must have crouched and brought his face very close. He continued to feel very close when he grabbed Subaru’s head and continued.

“Ta be honest, the Trial stuff shook me up. But I got over all that. There ain’t no change in the barrier. Plain as day yer lyin’.”

“Ahh, that… Actually, the tomb’s Trial is three parts in all.”

“Got some guts, in the situation yer in. I’ll praise yer shitty courage at least.”

“Guess you don’t believe me, huh… I completely messed up the order of that conversation…”

He should have spoken of his having the qualifications for the Trial, stated he’d overcome it, and brought to light that there actually was more than one gateway through which to pass. It was no exaggeration to say he’d disclosed that to a distrustful party in the worst manner possible.

“…What’ll happen to me?”

“Suppose I’ll say, depends on Lady Emilia. For now, ya stay locked up. I’ll make sure ya don’t die on me…but how ’bout we have a little chat after the barrier’s down?”

In other words, I won’t kill you. Garfiel’s announcement of Subaru’s continued confinement made him swallow his spit.

While he was stripped of the ability to move, various issues arose in the back of his brain.

—Emilia was dealing with the Trial, Roswaal was off duty with Ram attending to him, Puck was unresponsive, Elsa was assaulting the mansion with her probable coconspirator the Beast Master, the puller of Frederica’s strings remained hidden, Petra would be swallowed by the tragedy, Rem continued to sleep that very moment, and Beatrice was clutching that magic tome.

And amid all that, Garfiel viewed him as dangerous because of miasma; Ryuzu concurred and was on Garfiel’s side; plus the people of Earlham Village were primed to explode in Subaru’s absence.

“Ha.”

The hell was this. What the hell was this? What could—what should he do, and how…?

What the hell did he need to do to break through, to smash apart the situation with so many obstacles in his path?

From the very point he’d entered a confined state, he was caught in a state of “check”—

“?!!”

“—Oh no ya don’t.”

A foreign object was stuffed into Subaru’s mouth, making him fiercely retch in shock. But having done the deed, this did not make Garfiel hesitate; as Subaru writhed, he swiftly repositioned the gag.

Now he couldn’t raise his voice. And simultaneously—

“I don’t know what the hell yer thinkin’, but I ain’t gonna let ya kill yerself either.”

“”

When he’d impulsively tried to bite his tongue, Garfiel had obstructed him from doing so. Having the gag stuffed in robbed his jaw of its freedom; nor could he wipe away the drool spilling out of the corners of his mouth.

Suicide, and thus, Return by Death, were locked away from him.

Garfiel had a reason to keep him alive. Accordingly, he couldn’t let Subaru die.

“Me, what I can’t stand the most is that attitude.”

“A—i—u……!”

“It ain’t just the miasma— Those eyes, they’re just like that bastard Roswaal’s.”

Lobbing those words, Garfiel kicked the moaning Subaru. Subaru rolled onto the hard floor, slamming into the wall, and remained faceup afterward, while desperately exhaling raggedly over and over.

“Just leave food ’n’ stuff to me— And don’t try anythin’ funny.”

With those threatening words as his last, Garfiel’s footsteps grew distant.

“Aeee! A—i—u! Aeeee!!”

Squirming his body, he lobbed his voice at the receding presence. His incomprehensible voice did not make the other party halt.

Subaru’s desperate voice continued to fall on deaf ears until he could sense the presence no more—

“a—i—uu!!!”

—To Subaru, the worst of all prison lives had begun.

Sub-chapter 5.

The hollow passage of time slowly whittled away at Subaru’s mind.

“”

It had been several hours since Garfiel had departed, and he had fallen into a full-blown state of captivity—he was vague as to whether it was really a few hours, but he could only wonder what was going on outside in the Sanctuary.

Thinking back to his exchange with the now-absent Garfiel, there was no way the situation was sweet and rosy.

—The heck am I doing at a time like this?

Gagged and thus unable to even speak to himself, he mostly sucked up the drool as it dripped, and berated himself.

Subaru had a veritable mountain of obstacles he had to overcome. And yet, that very Subaru was unable to do anything, writhing around like a potato worm as he was at present.

“”

Could he resolve anything by trusting someone and explaining the problems? He wanted an answer to that.

He held love for Emilia, distrust for Roswaal, remorse for Beatrice, anger for Garfiel, hatred for Elsa, and these swirled and swirled, further muddying Subaru’s heart.

The blindfold was tied so tight it hurt. Unable to see anything, Subaru could only direct his questions at his own heart. His interior was packed full of suspicions and mysteries; in other words, he was at a stalemate.

All of his thoughts were deadlocked, actions held in check, and Subaru, not permitted even to kill himself, felt a sense of impatience eating away at him. As time passed, the countdown to the calamity that would inevitably arrive advanced, one second at a time.

“”

With the fires of impatience burning away at his heart, the horror show at the mansion played anew in the back of Subaru’s mind.

Though he had saved no one from that tragedy, that didn’t mean his gains from it were zero, either. He learned that Frederica was unconnected to the attack, and the attackers were Elsa and the Beast Master.

More than anything else, his greatest gain was learning that the day of the attack on the mansion changed according to his own actions.

Between the last time around and the time before that, there had been a gap of around three days between the attacks on the mansion. Besides, Elsa had clearly stated that the timetable been moved up. That information was a big deal.

Subaru had hard evidence he had at least until the evening of his return to the mansion the first time around—the fifth day from the starting point.

“”

But at the same time, that fact raised a different issue.

Given the mansion would be attacked upon his return, evacuating Rem and the others wasn’t realistic. There was no option besides repelling the attackers, Elsa and the Beast Master, on site.

As fighting strength for the sake of that, Frederica and Ram just weren’t enough by themselves. In the present circumstances, the only people besides that pair that could be relied on for combat power were Emilia, Roswaal, and Garfiel.

Roswaal had his wounds, Emilia had the barrier, and there was a wall stopping Garfiel from trusting him.

Or, perhaps, if he could borrow the strength of the final person left in the mansion—

“ea, oiu…”

He seemed to weep as he murmured the girl’s name.

—In the end, Subaru still didn’t understand where Beatrice stood.

Beatrice had shouted that she’d obeyed everything written in the Gospel in her hands to date.

They’d slammed invective into one another, glaring with mutual disgust. When Subaru pondered if anything could be nurtured amid such a relationship, every part of him felt very alone.

—Was it really like that?

That’s right, affirmed a loud voice within him.

A tearful voice declared firmly that Beatrice had made it all up.

Even after everything that had happened, Subaru wanted to believe that Beatrice’s words were lies.

What he had seen on the verge of death, her tearful eyes and tearful voice, made Subaru doubt Beatrice’s words.

“A, oe…”

Even if everything to date had been according to what was written in the book.

Even if the tragedy at the mansion had come to pass because of her obeying what was in the book.

—Right now, I want to hear your voice so much.

“”

No one was coming. No one could hear him. He’d been left behind in that place, all alone.

Amid that unrelenting darkness, Subaru gradually traced that very faint hope and continued clinging to it.

—And so more time passed while Subaru remained in the dark.

He was having a nightmare from which he could not awaken. Over and over, he experienced his moments of remorse at things beyond his reach.

Petra, reduced to only an arm. Frederica, sliced to death in a place beyond where Subaru’s eyes could reach. Ram, whereabouts unknown. Rem, of whom all he knew was the statement that he was too late. And in the final instant, Beatrice.

“”

More, more, over and over, the red-dyed scenes repeated.

Emilia, collapsed on the floor in the loot cellar. Old Man Rom, his throat rent apart like glass. Felt, cruelly sliced apart in a single blow. Rem, dying from wasting away. The people of Earlham Village dead at the hands of the Witch Cult. The children stuffed into the storage shed. Petra, with her eyeballs gouged out. Ram, wearing the makeup of death. Rem, her entire body defiled. The villagers slaughtered a second time over. Ram, impaled as she shielded them. The subjugation force members, crushed by the White Whale’s giant body and erased by the mist. The beast men torn to pieces by the hands of Sloth. The villagers and subjugation force members swallowed up by the deadly blast Corpses, corpses, corpses, surrounded by death, regrets piled atop each other as far as he could see.

“”

His body squirmed, seeking the pain from the ropes tying his legs and hands. Pain was good. Right then, it was what he wanted.

In that pitch darkness, unable to see anything, he saw images of scenes of regret over and over and over.

Unable to hear a thing, he heard the death cries of the people he had failed to save, replayed countless times.

His despair at how his hands were unable to reach them came back again and again, wearing away at his soul.

“”

It wasn’t the first time he’d been left behind in the dark.

He’d been abandoned in a cold, lightless cave, once.

But at the time, his heart had been ruled by anger and hatred, and Rem, in a near-death state, was present, so in a real sense Subaru had not been alone.

This time, he was alone.

In a real sense, this was the first time Subaru had tasted isolation rotting his heart away.

“”

During his state of confinement, it was not literally true he had no contact with anyone.

Just as Garfiel had stated, he had a reason he couldn’t let Subaru die. Because of that, he brought food to Subaru and ensured Subaru’s other bodily functions were accounted for.

Though neither pleasant nor polite, he had a caretaker nonetheless. For the victim of confinement, it was nothing praiseworthy whatsoever.

After all, the existence of such care did absolutely nothing to help cure Subaru’s isolation.

“”

He heard the putter of bare feet walking on the floor, thus sensing someone’s approach.

It was the second time, or perhaps the third, Subaru had sensed his caretaker coming to bring him food.

“”

His caretaker remained wordless, likely having placed the metal tray on the floor. Then, he slowly lifted up Subaru’s head, removing the gag. That instance constituted a chance to bite his tongue, but—

“aghh”

With a robotic movement, a small fist thrust into his mouth.

The fist blocked the motions of his jaw as the other party used an open hand to retrieve a plate from the tray. The contents of the tray were poured through the gap in his mouth, conducting a forced feeding.

The food was closest to chilled-over soup. He had no time to taste it, desperately swallowing it down as it invaded his throat, gasping as it fell into his stomach. It was not so much eating as simple oral intake.

Once this was done, the gag was contemptuously shoved into the coughing Subaru once more. Making no move to wipe the soup from his dirty face, the caretaker checked Subaru’s underwear to see that they were not soiled, whereupon the caretaker swiftly departed.

During that time, the caretaker had not spoken to Subaru even once.

The first time, Subaru had tried to speak through the gag, but the other party had not responded in any fashion.

The caretaker gave off the impression of an unthinking doll.

“”

Coming into contact with such a caretaker drove Subaru’s heart deeper into a corner.

Knowing that someone was there had only deepened Subaru’s isolation.

Time was passing. It wasn’t simply in his head; it was time he could not take back.

What time was it, then? What day was it? What had happened, what hadn’t happened, what was going on?

—When, and how, would he die?

Subaru thought in that fashion as he experienced the unpleasant sensation of the soup drying on his cheek.

A man’s heart was weak to darkness and isolation. He’d heard something like that from…somewhere.

When he’d heard that talk, Subaru had probably given it a good laugh. In terms of mental strength, he couldn’t really compare to a lot of people, but even so, he must have found being broken by isolation and the dark to be absurd.

He didn’t know what experiment that talk resulted from, but he’d never end up that way.

Without any empirical basis, he simply figured he’d be all right. What a little fool that made him.

“”

And left in actual darkness and isolation, a fair bit of time came to pass.

Right then, all Subaru could think of was death.

He was thinking of ways to die. He yearned for “death.”

Perhaps, even, that desire might not have been related to Return by Death.

He was afraid of the dark. He was terrified of isolation. He hadn’t known.

If he stopped breathing, wouldn’t he die? If he kept chafing his arms against the ropes, might he die of blood loss? If he rammed his head against the floor, how about that? What if the next moment, an earthquake happened and he tumbled into a crevice?

There was food that had fallen all over the place. What if worms came and ate Subaru whole? He’d heard that mice gnawed on the fingers and ears of the sick. Why didn’t he make himself bait and find out for himself?

If he forgot that he was even himself rather than just a simple collection of meat, then—

“”

He was so thick with love of death; he was late in noticing.

Footsteps. He sensed a human presence approaching. Was it time for his care again? Another opportunity to deepen his isolation.

He heard the sound of something pounding on the hard floor. Slowly, it was heading for the prone Subaru. It drew nearer, even as Subaru had lost track of whether he was faceup or facedown at the moment.

Death from hunger. How about starvation? If he obstinately refused to eat, death would approach, slowly but surely. Thinking it worth a try, he tried to reject the hand his caretaker stretched toward him—

“—I imagined you would be in a terrible state, but this is even graver than I presumed.”

For a moment, Subaru didn’t understand what it was.

In that world, a sound beyond his own filthy breathing and his beating heart that could make his eardrums tremble? He felt like it was something beyond his knowledge. Very, very late in the process, he comprehended it was something called a “voice.”

Someone’s voice. The voice of another person, something he hadn’t heard in how many centuries? And of someone known to him.

“a”

“Oh, please do not raise your voice. We are crossing a rather dangerous bridge, so I would rather not be caught here by a guard. Neither of us is very good at giving up, you know?”

With an easygoing tone, the other party replied to the fallen Subaru’s lamenting voice while doing something to his body. The light sound made Subaru comprehend the bindings on his hands and feet had been untied. His arms, his legs—they could move freely.

Rolling his body over, he faced upward. Why was it so hard to breathe?

“I shall take out the gag. Incidentally, the blindfold, too.”

“”

With the cause of his difficult breathing removed, saliva flowed out from the corner of his mouth. Along with that, the blindfold tied around his head all that time was undone. It was a liberating feeling. His tear-coated eyelids moved around.

With a sound like starch being ripped off, his eyelids opened. The darkness, and time itself, brightened—

“In any case, I am relieved to have found you alive, Mr. Natsuki.”

—These words spoken, after what seemed like centuries had passed, Otto Suwen smiled.

Sub-chapter 6.

To the face before his eyes, Subaru was speechless, reduced to staring in astonishment.

“What is it? You have the look of a man in complete disarray, seeing the seemingly impossible, unable to believe the work of your own brain, and as a result, suspecting it may be a dream or illusion?”

“…That’s not…”

Otto had a hand on his hip with a fairly indignant look on his face. Subaru looked up at him, somehow managing a murmur.

His throat was a mess, his entire body fatigued from wasting away, enough that the air itself felt heavy. Just moving his body and his previously bound hands and feet a little sent pain running through them, multiple ills he hadn’t noticed during his confinement.

Even so, he was alive. And so too—

“You coming is the last, last thing I expected.”

“Well, I can understand that. To be honest, I do come off as rather unreliable…”

“More like, on a level it just flows out of you from head to toe… I’m not exaggerating here. In all that time…you coming here didn’t enter my mind the tiniest little bit…”

“Even in this situation, this person really knows how to mercilessly shave one’s spirit down…!!”

“Hey, you’re the one who said…not to talk loudly…”

When Otto raised what seemed like a voice of lament, he made a face unaccepting of Subaru’s admonition. This exchange, too, brought back old times. It seemed the man there was the real Otto.

“All that isolation, seeing hallucinations… What state would I be in if you were the first guy popping up in ’em…”

“It is remarkable you can say all that with your throat and body in such a difficult state. Here, water.”

Otto tendered a metallic canteen to silence Subaru’s sharp tongue. Taking it, he practically bathed in it, drinking the remaining water, amounting to half or so of the container. As a matter of fact, he did shower a portion onto his face.

After dampening his throat with the cold water and crudely washing his dirty face, his mood improved a fair margin.

“So finally ready to speak?”

“Geho! …Just barely, yeah. Can I ask something first? Right now, how many days have passed?”

“If by that, Mr. Natsuki, you mean in reference to the night of your disappearance, three days have passed since then. Outside this structure, it is night…the time of the Trial.”

“Three days……!! And the Trial is still continuing?!”

The answer to his question, and the information appended to it, abruptly changed the look on Subaru’s face.

If it was nighttime three days later, the time was half a day after the time limit regarding to the mansion. And the continuation of challenging the Trial had a direct bearing on the situation in the Sanctuary after Subaru’s confinement.

Subaru’s reaction elicited a tired shake of Otto’s head as he spoke.

“Mr. Natsuki, I understand how you feel, but Lady Emilia has her own ideas. Lifting the barrier remains just as much a necessity as before, for one thing…”

“…Mind if I ask what’s happened in the time I’ve been gone?”

“Due to the circumstances, I cannot speak about it in much detail, but…”

Thus, inserting that odd preface, Otto began slowly speaking about what had happened since. The real issue was what had happened the night Subaru had disappeared—in other words, what had been triggered by Subaru’s disappearance.

“Quite naturally, of course, news of Mr. Natsuki vanishing immediately spread. It was said that you had a promise with the Marquis for that night, and even without that, Mr. Natsuki, you are a rather famous individual, so…”

“You can ditch the flattery. Go on, please.”

“I did not particularly intend it as flattery, but…at any rate, Mr. Natsuki going missing stirred up the settlement considerably. In particular, Lady Emilia seemed to be in a rather large panic, enough that she did not challenge the Trial the following day.”

“Emilia did that…”

Hearing the word panic made him imagine Emilia’s mental state had been in a pretty bad state. Without Subaru there at her side, she had to do without his emotional support on that first day.

Well after the fact, he regretted being unable to encourage and console her with gentle words.

“…Shall I continue, Mr. Natsuki?”

“…Yeah, please.”

In a composed manner, Otto explained the happenings in the Sanctuary that followed from an observer’s perspective.

Subaru’s disappearance had been blamed on having entered the Lost Woods at night. Ram had been unable to locate Subaru even with her Clairvoyance, and for a time, Emilia had gone into the forest to search. Volunteers from the people of Earlham Village gathered together as well, forming and dispatching search parties that searched around the forest.

And without any foot-dragging, Garfiel had cooperated unreservedly with their efforts—

“Lights the match, then comes running with a water bucket……somehow, he’s managed pretty well on the outside.”

Though his comment suggested Subaru’s disappearance was covered up nicely, opening the lid of the barrel could not have revealed any sloppier method. Garfiel’s actions seemed completely random.

“But in point of fact, Emilia did call off the search for me…”

“That was at once Lady Emilia’s thinking, and the Marquis’s voice at work.”

When Subaru lowered his head in doubt, Otto raised a finger, wagging it left and right.

“It was the Marquis who made the suggestion to Lady Emilia. If searching the forest with small numbers was to no avail, a large-scale search party was the only viable means. For that sake, the liberation of the Sanctuary needed to take precedence.”

“A search party for the forest… And Emilia swallowed that down?”

“The Marquis made a solemn, formal vow that he would in no way slight Mr. Natsuki, whose meritorious service had subjugated the White Whale and destroyed an Archbishop of the Seven Deadly Sins of the Witch Cult.”

Otto awkwardly lowered his eyes, but inside his heart, Subaru was outright stupefied. Setting aside however Garfiel may have explained things away, there were far too many mysteries behind Roswaal’s attitude.

In the first place, Subaru had meant to pin Roswaal down with questions that time around. He wanted to inquire about the tragedy at the mansion; how Beatrice, with a Gospel in her hands, was connected to it, and what she, a spirit, was thinking; and the one most knowledgeable about all of those things had to be Roswaal, who’d promised to answer his questions.

This time, Subaru’s objective was to get Roswaal to divulge the relationship between the pair, allowing nothing to remain hidden. Though Garfiel and Ryuzu’s interference had gotten in the way of that—

“With that vow made, Lady Emilia was challenging the Trial yesterday and today with great intensity evident. Her heart seems quite pained at being unable to overcome the Trial even so…”

“…Something’s been bothering me a little since earlier, actually.”

“Yes? What is that?”

Breaking off from his tale, Otto raised an eyebrow. “It’s just,” said Subaru as a preamble before continuing to say, “that really sounds like a chat between other people. How do you explain that you heard it, too?”

Setting aside the crux of the story, Otto was himself one of the people concerned when it came to the various issues happening in the Sanctuary. Why did his story since earlier sound so much like something overheard from another group’s discussions?

“Ahhh, that is what you are asking… This is somewhat difficult for me to say, but…”

Receiving Subaru’s query, Otto behaved in a blatantly suspicious manner. Scratching his own cheek with a finger, he made a pained smile with an awkward look on his face.

What the heck did he mean by “difficult to say”? wondered Subaru, girding himself a little.

“What? You’ve made one shocking report after another. Throwing something else in might stand out less than you imagine. I think you should reveal whatever secrets you may have, like the amount left in your bank account.”

“If you were to see my bank ledger, you might end up frightened out of your wits, Mr. Natsuki.”

“Don’t try to gloss things over.”

Subaru was the one who started the flippant comments, but he wouldn’t let Otto escape through playing along.

Discerning Subaru’s will from his gaze, Otto sighed with an air of reluctance and finally answered.

“Er, actually, you see…just like you, Mr. Natsuki, Garfiel has set his eyes on me, and I am currently in the middle of fleeing this way and that throughout the Sanctuary.”

“Huh?”

“I mean! If you are a victim of imprisonment, Mr. Natsuki, then I am a fugitive being pursued! All of this information, I gathered while on the run… That is why, as a matter of fact, they are things I have heard.”

With Subaru taken aback, Otto looked him over as his shoulders sank with an exceptionally tired expression.

Blinking several times at his explanation, Subaru stared at Otto more intently. Then, he belatedly realized that Otto, standing right before his eyes, was in a grimy, tattered state.

Given his standing as a merchant, Otto, mindful of visual impressions, was always very nicely groomed. He’d also heard directly from Otto that this was part and parcel of his preparedness as a merchant.

It was this Otto who, at present, had sweat and soil marring his face, his hair all a jumble. His hat was squished, his clothes were damaged from snagging all over the place, his boots were grimy with mud, and appended to all of that was—

“—Man, you reek! It’s getting into my eyes!”

“That was exceptionally blunt of you, but you realize this applies not only to me, but to you as well?!”

“Ahh, well, I suppose so… I suppose you’re right, ha-ha.”

Subaru made a listless laugh as he put his nose to his own sleeve. He indeed smelled terrible.

Thanks to being blindfolded and isolated, his vision and hearing had grown exceptionally sensitive, but his undamaged nose seemed to have been wildly thrown off as well. But the largest reason for that was that it was not his body odor at work.

It was a more distinct, sharper stench that filled the area around him, seemingly piercing his nose.

“This really bad smell, it couldn’t be… It’s not the scent of miasma, right…?”

“I do not know why you are speaking of miasma all of a sudden, but you need not be concerned. We are indeed near a Witch’s tomb, but nothing that dangerous is hovering about. That is not to say the cause of this scent is a completely safe thing, but…”

“You know about miasma?”

“Enough to know that my head would be acting strangely if it was miasma lingering in the air…”

For an instant, his statement that he could sense miasma put Subaru on guard. But Otto’s subsequent testimony cleared his wariness away. Either way, the scent had nothing to do with miasma—

“Meaning, this place must really smell. I don’t wanna stay here for long.”

“In a quite different sense, I concur. I would like us to distance ourselves before the guard returns.”

“The way you keep mentioning guard this, guard that sounds real scary. But before that…”

Otto kept his expressive voice down, trying to advance to the actual escaping part. However, before following his plan, Subaru had something he had to make certain of first.

He had to get Otto to continue talking about his standing in the Sanctuary.

“Let me ask this. How did Garfiel end up after you? Running around from him is why you look all messed up like that, right?”

“”

“I’m genuinely grateful you came to help me. To be honest, before I saw your face, I was backed into a corner so hard I thought death was better. But…”

There, Subaru’s words trailed off as he gazed at Otto, pressed into silence.

For once, Otto received Subaru’s gaze head on with an expression close to dead seriousness. Subaru continued.

“I can’t figure out why you’d lend me a hand. Logically, I can see the possibility, but…”

It wasn’t that he was doubting Otto, but Subaru couldn’t put a finger on his motives. If things were bad enough that he was in a serious mess, having made an enemy out of Garfiel, the strongest fighter in the Sanctuary, then why help Subaru? Of course, there were a few potential reasons.

By gaining Subaru’s favor and laying the foundation for dealing with the Sanctuary’s other various problems, he would gain a lot of goodwill with the Emilia faction. Even Roswaal, the greatest contributor to the faction, would surely remember his deeds. That would be sufficient for Otto’s original objective of gaining favor with the Marquis.

But it was merely sufficient. In terms of profits, big scores, and any other mercantile affair, the odds were stacked against him.

Total defeat seemed inevitable. With no clear means of victory, it was no gamble; it was suicidal conduct, simple as that.

If he had a reason for that act not to be suicidal conduct, that might have been a different story, but—

“You don’t seem the type who likes getting himself killed.”

“…Is there any person who does like getting himself killed?”

To Otto’s question, Subaru twisted his neck and went, “Who knows?”

At the very least, there was one man in the room who’d spent the last three days thinking of nothing but death.

Yes, during those three days, Subaru had begged for death a number of times. Even as he begged for death, he saw once more all the deaths he had experienced to date. He had told Otto the truth. It was not in jest whatsoever: In those entire three days, he had not remembered Otto even once.

In one sense, this was the trust Subaru held toward Otto.

With so many terrible situations piled atop one another, he didn’t want there to be any reason to be on his guard even against Otto.

It was a very evasive kind of trust.

“So answer me, Otto. Why did you come help me?”

The quiet question was the watershed dividing the pair standing in that place.

With bated breath, Subaru awaited Otto’s reply. Receiving Subaru’s inquiry, Otto swallowed for one brief moment, staring back with his own black pupils.

“—Mr. Natsuki, it is your fault Garfiel has a reason to come after me.”

“…My fault?”

“Mr. Natsuki, that night, you know for a fact I was the last one to meet with both you and Garfiel, yes? When Mr. Natsuki disappeared afterward, naturally I suspected him. He surely found my eyewitness testimony to be inconvenient, so he wanted me to keep it to myself.”

The explanation resonated deeply inside Subaru’s chest.

In other words, Garfiel was after Otto to silence him. That being the case, it was entirely natural for Otto to decide that rescuing Subaru was ultimately the best way to break out of his dilemma.

“However, he stated that if I was to keep his meeting with Mr. Natsuki secret, he would do me no harm. He showed me some kind of crystal, offering it as compensation.”

However, it was Otto himself who poured cold water on Subaru’s premature conclusion. Garfiel had not attempted to silence him by force, but with words and compensation.

Now his earlier acceptance made no sense. Otto had a choice that would have ensured his safety.

“And in spite of that, you turned him down? And that’s why Garfiel’s after you?”

“Well, it might have been a compelling choice, but not a particularly palatable one…”

“Don’t joke at a time like this! Are you an idiot? Why did you do something like that?! What…”

—What reason did he have to cross such a dangerous bridge?

What could have possibly been the impetus to make him do so?

“What were you th…”

“My goodness, Mr. Natsuki.”

With Subaru at his wits’ end, Otto interrupted his words, passing a hand through his own ashen hair.

Then, he fixed his squished hat as he finally answered.

“—Is it really that strange to help out a friend?”

—For an instant, time came to a halt for Subaru, unsure just what had been said to him.

It was several seconds before time moved again—a slow, slow restart.

However, even when it moved, his confusion did not cease. The meaning of the words would not sink in. At that moment, just what magic spell had Otto cast upon Subaru?

—Friend? What was this word, friend? What, was this person saying to him?

“Wh-why is this person’s face frozen in such a look of surprise…”

“Nah, someone I don’t recognize just got mentioned… Mr. Fred, you said?”

“That conclusion is wrong from head to tail! Not Fred, friend! As in friendship!”

“Friends… Friendship?! Between whom?!”

“Between me! And Mr. Natsuki!!”

Stamping his foot, Otto pointed at both Subaru and himself. But his action left Subaru’s eyes even wider. Subaru’s reaction made Otto go, “Oh, good grief!” as he plucked at his head, seemingly to drive the numbness away.

“Certainly! Our mutual interests coincide where my coming here is concerned! It is so I can meet with the Marquis, and through such business, aid and support Lady Emilia. And in the first place, Mr. Natsuki, it is you who saved me when I was captured by the Witch Cult!”

“”

“But setting all these troublesome matters aside, I simply believe I am Mr. Natsuki’s friend. There is the normal manner in which you treat me but also the sense of a friend’s distance between us.”

Scratching his head, Otto averted his gaze from Subaru, perhaps getting blushy midway. And having heard the entire story, Subaru made no reaction whatsoever. His silence drew a questioning look from Otto’s face. There was a fair bit of concern in his eyes, for Subaru displayed no reaction to his words at all. Perhaps Subaru was reflecting upon the high-pressure friendship sales pitch.

Otto’s pupils seemed to represent a hundred faces at once. And what this brought gushing up from Subaru’s heart was—

“—Pfft.”

“Pardon?”

“Wahahahahah! F-friends? Friends, huh!! Ahhh, so that’s it, that’s it! Otto, you actually wanted to be my friend!”

“Wha—?!”

Unable to take it anymore, Subaru broke down laughing as he rabidly slapped the red-faced Otto’s shoulder. Even so, the mirth had not vanished from him; Subaru stamped the ground and squirmed, still clutching his belly.

“Bwa-ha-ha, friend! Awww, damn it! Otto, damn you, you bastard!”

“Ow, ow! What was that for?! Ahhh, I was such a fool to say it! I can understand why you are laughing, Mr. Natsuki! But surely it is not that funny!”

“No, no, no, I have to laugh at it. You’re not the weird one here… I’m laughing ’cause my foolishness is so huge and awful, I amaze even myself.”

Wiping away with his left hand the tears surging up from his outburst of laughter, Subaru was still struck by it all as he straightened his posture. To his front, Otto wore a face that revealed regret that he’d spoken the word friend. But toward the sight of him like that, Subaru bore gratitude…and near-bottomless derision for himself.

—He couldn’t understand Otto. He didn’t know what to believe; and yet, here was Otto, coming to Subaru’s aid for no more reason than being Subaru’s friend. Faced with such a man before him, it was less that he trusted his feelings than he rued his own idiocy in suspecting what might lie beyond.

He’d been too buffeted by the situation, rendered too unable to understand the feelings of the people around him. He’d believed in malice so strongly, he’d forgotten goodwill even existed. He’d truly been an enormous fool.

He’d come to feel like having crossed through death to redo things a few brief times had taught him something.

—The battle wasn’t over. He didn’t have to abandon anything, not yet.

“Mr. Natsuki?”

A question mark floated over Otto’s head. He did not understand the meaning of Subaru’s self-derision and self-admonishment.

Subaru shook his head at the man’s reaction and somehow feeling brighter, breathed in and spoke up.

“Sorry. You’re my friend, Otto—Thank you for coming to help me.”

To his friend, he conveyed the thanks that should have been the first words out of his mouth.
 

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Diamond. Diamond. Diamond.

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