Re:Zero – Starting Life in Another World. Volume. 10.
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‘Chapter 5:- THE FIRST STEP FORWARD.’
Sub-chapter 1.
The white-haired girl remained seated in her chair in the middle of the classroom as she gave a wry, charming smile.
Receiving her gaze upon him, Subaru leaned his upper body into the corridor, checking until he reconfirmed there was no one else around. Then he turned back toward the classroom once more, scratching his head.
“First, there’s something I want to tell you…”
“Mm, you may speak it. I am very interested in whatever you might be thinking.”
“That school uniform really looks good on you.”
The Witch’s eyes had an inquisitive glint as Subaru pointed and conveyed his impression.
For a moment, the Witch blinked at that impression, and then she gave a burst of irrepressible laughter.
“Ha-ha! Thank you. That makes it well worth rummaging through your memories to reproduce it. These clothes are seared into your memories particularly strongly. Perhaps you are rather fond of them?”
The girl—Echidna—rose from her seat, grasping the hem of her skirt as she twirled around on the spot. The sight of her white hair swaying down her back made her look like nothing more than an attractive teenage girl.
She wore a gray skirt and a navy-blue blazer. The red ribbon adorning her breasts marked her as a student of the same grade as Subaru, providing a vivid contrast to the white shirt underneath.
“It’s just that I like longer skirts more than short, personally. Long skirts twirl around for longer, so it tugs at your thoughts even stronger that way.”
“I see. Well then, I must ensure that my skirt twirls for longer the next time.”
“Not that there’s gonna be a next time! Also, it’s not as if I really like everyone wearing that outfit. Here, it’s just what you have to wear. It’s as obligatory as a knight’s dress uniform.”
Echidna giggled at him, looking like she only took his explanation half seriously. Humphing through his nose at her, Subaru sat down in the empty chair in front of Echidna, turning to face her.
“I really thought you would be more surprised…”
“If you meant to hide it, you should’ve put more effort into the background. This goes for the commute to school, too, but there isn’t a single adult or child inside the whole school, and that’s impossible.”
Even if he’d reasoned it was late afternoon of a normal day, the world simply felt too bereft of human presence. It was as if the world had been stripped of everything that was not useful information from Subaru’s perspective.
“This world’s way too convenient from my point of view… What’s with this place? I was just entering the place called your tomb, and then…”
“You entered my tomb, possessing the qualifications to do so. Therefore, the trial began. That is all. Did you not hear the words? ‘First, face your past.’”
Echidna, replying to confirm Subaru’s impressions, crossed her hands behind her back as she tilted her head.
The beautiful girl’s hair swayed with the wind, a gentle, cool breeze blowing into the classroom as the school uniform on her casually melted away. Sensing that each of her nonchalant gestures was a trap she had laid around his heart, Subaru consciously averted his gaze from her.
“It’s gradually…coming back to me. What did you do to the memory of when we first met? I completely forgot about you until the moment this trial was underway.”
“I told you, did I not? You are forbidden to speak of having met me at my little tea party to anyone else. It was faster and more reliable to affect your memory than trust in the tightness of your lips. Ahh, I would like you to relax… I did not play around with any other memories. I would never do such a banal thing.”
“…What basis do I have to believe what you just said?”
“Perhaps your understanding of a Witch’s true nature? I am the Witch of Greed, lust for knowledge incarnate.”
Echidna crossed her arms as if embracing her own elbows, leaving Subaru unable to read what rested within her black eyes.
Whether to trust the Witch felt like a stupid question that did not require any elaborate thought. He’d already undergone terrible ordeals at the hands of the Witch of Jealousy and the Cult that worshipped her. The same went for Echidna.
“But first I want to set you straight about something. The fact is, you’re the one who gave me the qualification for the trial.”
“Set me straight, you say? Somehow, that sets my heart just slightly aflutter. How strange… I feel slightly elated that you would speak to me in such a manner.
“All I did was to upgrade you from an unpalatable thing to a maybe-unpalatable thing.”
When Echidna’s smile deepened, Subaru responded by tossing words her way that seemed intended to fend her off. “Tch,” went Echidna, tapering her lips as her almond-shaped eyes gently narrowed.
“Everyone harbors regrets from their past. Living day to day makes it impossible to exist without regret—regret is a function built into all people.”
“Don’t put it pessimistically like that. That regret thingy turns into reflection, reflecting on yesterday lets you scrape by today, reflecting on today lets you bust through tomorrow. That’s a function built into people, too, isn’t it?”
“—Precisely!”
The air audibly leaped; this was caused by Echidna, speaking in a strong voice, bringing her hands together in a powerful clap. She drew close to the surprised Subaru, her face approaching so close that they could share breaths, opening her mouth as if to press him for more.
“Such a simple observation engenders what is, in the end, a minor difference. But which answer one chooses greatly affects whether one views the past optimistically or pessimistically. Most view the past pessimistically, repudiating the path that has led them to the present. And in that repudiation, they avert their eyes, never closing the lid upon what has happened.”
“Um, your face is…close…!”
“Such a thing cannot be helped, for the you of yesterday was infinitely ignorant compared to the you of today. The you of now is at an absolute deficiency of knowledge compared to the you of tomorrow. In the sum amount of knowledge, and in the total number of memories, the past is inferior to the present, and the present is inferior to the future. That is a fact!”
Paying the overwhelmed Subaru no heed, Echidna spoke exceedingly passionately, punctuating her speech by strongly slamming both hands onto the desk.
“Accordingly, when people face the past, they sift through hesitation, bewilderment, anguish, and sorrow, all in search for an answer. I shall affirm whatever answer they arrive at as a result. I shall find no fault in any answer, for it is proof that you have faced your past, absorbing it and using it as your cornerstone as you overcome it.”
“…So that’s the objective of this trial? Huh, mission accomplished, I guess?”
“Facing your own past can mean accepting or rejecting it. What is important is arriving at an answer. One cannot overcome the trial with fear, anger, or cowering. However, I extol those who have either accepted their past or made a clean break with it. For that, I shall offer as many opportunities as one might desire… That is this trial!”
When Subaru took this as meaning he’d passed, Echidna made that powerful declaration, raising her clenched fist. Immediately afterward, Echidna audibly gasped as she came back to her senses, her cheeks reddening as she cleared her throat and said, “I became a t-trifle too excited. I am sorry for the unsightly display.”
“I don’t really mind. I did get to smell your breath a lot, but it smelled like citrus fruit. More importantly…from what you’re saying, I passed the conditions for clearing the trial, right?”
“I believe you have displayed sufficient results for me to declare that this portion is finished.”
Echidna touched a hand to her chest, her face full of satisfaction, like one savoring the aroma of luxuriant black tea.
“In regards to your trauma and your lingering feelings of guilt toward your past, you have found an answer to both. This, I wish to praise with thunderous applause.”
“One portion… Wait, you saw me bawling my eyes out, didn’t you?!”
“So sowwy, before I knew it, even my eyes were moist.”
“Shaddap!! Don’t tell a soul, it’s embarrassing!!”
Subaru couldn’t keep his cool at her being a Peeping Tom in regards to his farewell with his parents, both longing and regret bared. Her inquisitiveness that instant was a slight against Subaru’s family.
“But what a pity…it seems you already had your answer for facing your painful past.”
“Ahh?”
“I welcome any answer. But it is my belief that an answer means more when one must take an excessive time to arrive at it. I was hoping that you would arrive at your answer as a result of racking your brain…but it would seem the trial unfortunately came too late for you to amuse me to the fullest, more’s the pity.”
Echidna made a morose sigh. Knotting his brows at her words, Subaru slowly realized it for himself.
If Echidna’s desired outcome for the trial was for Subaru to face his past trauma in the form of both his parents, overcoming that past after much agony, he could only give his condolences.
“A girl told me, a totally helpless no-good guy, that I’m her hero. That’s why I’ve already accepted how much I come up short. I don’t need to face my past now to teach me that.”
“So you resigned yourself to it in a different manner. It is not at all amusing that this has gone contrary to my will. Should you meet that girl on the outside, I would like you to convey that a Witch bears a grudge against her.”
Subaru’s breath caught at the way she so casually stated that extremely frightening complaint. He knew he was at the limit of his ability to avert his eyes from comprehension he did not wish to accept.
Echidna’s presence, the world without people, and her saying she was reproducing a school uniform from his memories—even an idiot would realize that…
“Not that I even need to ask. This world, it really is…”
“Yes, that’s right. This is a fictitious world reproduced using completely faithful reliance upon your memories. Therefore, naturally—your real parents remain with no knowledge of where you are and what you are doing, and are no doubt worried about their son, vanished without a trace.”
“Really faithful in every way, though? They talked about a whole bunch of things I didn’t know about…”
“Did you truly not know these things? Perhaps you saw a letter sent by an acquaintance of your parents once? Did you not meet an old man who knew your father when he was young? Did you truly not suspect even once that this image of your father was at odds with what you believed?”
When Subaru seemed to cling to her, Echidna indulged him, pounding home point after point.
“You thought they didn’t know, but in your heart, did you really want to conceal it? Can you truly say you didn’t want a fictional father and an idealized mother to know all along, out of the self-serving desire to be loved in spite of them knowing?”
With Subaru cowed into silence, Echidna drew her face close to his, the tenor of her speech gradually diminishing to a whisper as it gained an ever-more-suspicious-sounding ring. Then, when she was close enough to breathe on him, she said, “That is a little too idealistic, a little too convenient—do you not think so?”
“”
Echidna gracefully smiled as those soft, seemingly adoring words dug deep into Subaru’s heart.
At odds with the age-appropriate appearance she had displayed to that moment, this was the malevolent smile of a Witch. In the face of that captivating smile, infected with a Witch’s seductiveness, Subaru closed his eyes and—
“Don’t mock my parents out of some half-baked resentment, Echidna.”
“…What?”
“I gave my entire answer to them. Both my mom and my dad accepted it. I told them everything I hadn’t said, and they said everything I wanted them to say: Hang in there, come back soon.”
Subaru stood up, put his hands on the desk, and put his forehead to Echidna’s. Subaru watched the Witch’s black eyes blink in surprise as he pounded his own chest.
“Those voices, those smiling faces…every last bit was what my imagination poured into them—they’re not vases for you to pour your half-baked ideas into. Don’t look down on them. Those are my parents.”
“”
“I told them everything I had to say. I’m not gonna be led astray by words from someone like you.”
Turning her bladelike words back upon her, Subaru snorted and set his hips down on the chair once more. His brusque crossing of his legs, rough nasal breathing, and hard glare made the Witch look taken aback as she exhaled.
“Goodness, to not leave any room for doubts in the answer you have given… You truly know how to make a little Witch cry.”
“Sucks to be you. I reeeally love Mom and Daddy.”
He puffed out his chest as he asserted it, though he couldn’t quantify just how long it had taken before he could do so.
Echidna greeted Subaru’s stance with a resigned shake of her head.
“In a true sense, this trial is over. I hope for great things for the next question.”
“Yeah… Er, next question?! The hell, the trial isn’t just one thing?!”
“My, did I not tell you when you first entered the tomb? ‘First, face your past.’ You should have paid more attention to the first part…”
“Stop talking like a Japanese language teacher!! And that deceptive face really annoys me!!”
Subaru was shocked at the notification that it would be a longer fight as Echidna leaned an elbow against the desk, forming a mischievous smile.
“The condition for liberating the Sanctuary is to pass the tomb’s trial, three parts in total. I am pleased I was finally able to speak to you about this. My chest is aflutter that I have surprised you to quite this extent.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a real lively look on my face ’cause you didn’t tell me about this back at the tea party, damn it…”
She’d no doubt been full of frustration concerning the uncooperative visitor arriving for tea with far too little information. Unlike that previous time, he had more he wanted to ask her about, but—
“Either way, you’re not gonna hand out cheat sheets on the contents of the trials or how to answer, are you?”
“Of course not. Stealing my fun from me after my death would simply be far too cruel.”
“Don’t talk about this like some geezer’s fun, sheesh…”
Wincing from the witchy reply, Subaru slowly rose from his seat.
There was no longer anything he wished to speak to Echidna about. Nor was there any reason to stay in that place, that fictional world, for long, save for lingering attachment. He’d said his farewells to the regrets in his heart; that was enough.
“Hey, Echidna.”
“What is it? Ahh, a grudge to vent, or perhaps you wish to punch me once? Certainly, you have the right to do that much. I know my amusement comes at your expense. But I am a woman. At least avoid the fa—”
“Thank you.”
“”
Echidna’s face froze when she heard those words.
The sight of Echidna in shock, eyes wide open and taken aback, felt a little creepy to Subaru as he spoke.
“Even if it wasn’t real, even if I didn’t really say those things to the two of them, thanks to you, I was able to say out loud what I wanted to tell them. To put it bluntly, even if it’s the result of your shitty curiosity, I was able to say goodbye to them— If nothing else, I’m grateful for that. So thank you.”
“…You are an incredibly interesting person, one I am no longer able to understand to a degree that is…frightening.”
Echidna’s reply contained neither jest nor falsehood; rather, it felt as if she was speaking from the heart for the very first time.
After hearing her reply, Subaru shrugged, smiling like a mischievous boy.
“I’m honored to have frightened a Witch. So how do I get out of this world?”
“This world has served its purpose. It has already begun to disappear. Nothing save this building still holds its proper shape—exit the building, and you should find yourself in the tomb where you started.”
“Well, that’s pretty convenient.”
When Echidna’s answer prodded him to look out the window, the distant sky was indeed warped like some kind of mirage. Having fulfilled its duty, the false world was vanishing back into a distant dream.
With it went the father who had given Subaru a push forward, and the mother who had sent him off.
“They already taught me the important stuff, though.”
The emotions filling his chest and the hot sensations in the backs of his eyes made Subaru rub his eyes once with his sleeve. Then he lifted his face, and there was room for tears no more.
Subaru turned his back to the Witch and faced the classroom’s exit to bring that world to an end and—
“That’s right, one more thing. It seems like you want me to challenge this trial again going forward…but I can’t do it.”
“…Meaning what?”
Echidna knitted her refined eyebrows as Subaru paused on the verge of leaving the room, turning only his head back toward her. Subaru lifted a finger toward her, wagging it left and right as he spoke.
“It’s not my job to clear the trial and liberate the Sanctuary. This is a commemorative exam, just ’cause I happened to have an exam ticket on me. It’ll be a different kid who’ll fulfill your expectations.”
He remembered Emilia, who had challenged the tomb and had surely undergone the same trial. It was her duty to liberate the Sanctuary. Subaru’s challenge had been completely unplanned; he couldn’t raise Echidna’s hopes.
So he said that last thing, waving his hand toward the Witch he was probably seeing for the last time…
“Will that truly be the case, I wonder?”
Subaru Natsuki never noticed Echidna’s deeply suggestive whisper as he was enveloped in white light.
Then he left the world of the trial—
Sub-chapter 2.
The instant he awoke, the first thing Subaru felt was the bitter taste of sand and dust inside his mouth.
“Blargh!! Ptoo, ptoo! Some weird rock’s in my mouth… Bleh!!”
Feeling drool and something else shaped like a rock on the tip of his tongue, Subaru retched as he instantly sprang up. When he surveyed the area around his dirty body, he saw an empty room shrouded in thin darkness.
The cold, chilly air and musty, acrid scent—they reminded him that he was in the tomb.
“That’s right, I completed it…”
Now that Subaru was awake, his mind finally caught up as he recalled all that had happened since he collapsed.
He’d been pulled into the trial, had been reunited with his parents, spoke with them, then returned to reality. There didn’t seem to be any gaps in his memory from start to finish. He remembered it all.
“Not like I can forget bawling my eyes out like that… Ahh, I’m glad.”
Leaving his father and mother was a sad, nostalgic memory, but also the ritual that had hardened his resolve.
Relieved he had not forgotten it, he clenched his teeth as he belatedly recalled why he had rushed into the tomb in the first place—the answer was sprawled on the floor right next to him.
“Emilia!”
Kneeling, Subaru saw Emilia lying on the cold floor beside him. Peering at her face, he confirmed she was breathing. He was initially relieved by that fact, but the pained look on her sleeping face stabbed into his chest.
“—ah, ngh…”
Emilia was moaning, with sweat on her brow, as her face twisted in anguish and fear. Every so often, she shook her head in denial, as if she were desperately trying to run away from something—
“A past you don’t want to look at…something you have to face and deal with, huh…?”
Subaru didn’t know how much time had passed, but Emilia had entered the tomb long before him. That Subaru had come back first in spite of that meant she was having an exceptionally difficult time with the trial.
Emilia moaned faintly, like she was begging for help, as if ready to break into tears at any moment. The sight of her like that made Subaru’s breath catch. Wanting to somehow ease her suffering, he touched her cheek with his finger. That instant—
“—!”
“Emilia?!”
Emilia’s slender body sat up fast, almost like she’d been zapped with a jolt of electricity. The dramatic reaction made Subaru reach out with his arms, hugging Emilia against his own chest.
Then, when she shuddered like she was having spasms, he called out to her over and over.
“Emilia! Get it together, Emilia! Emilia!”
“—Wuu… Su…baru?”
“—! Y-yeah, that’s right. You can tell it’s me? I’m so glad.”
Subaru’s arms had been wrapped around Emilia while he desperately cried out. After some time, the anguished expression on her face finally eased as she slowly opened her eyes.
She seemed to be coming to her senses, letting Subaru breathe in relief after calling out her name since the episode started.
“This is… Er, I was…”
“Take it slow, don’t panic. We’re inside the tomb in the Sanctuary. You came in here to fulfill a very important duty…and, er, sorry for taking so long!”
Remembering that he was embracing her, Subaru abandoned his explanation midway and pulled back from Emilia’s body. When Emilia hazily turned her head toward him, Subaru scratched his cheek and tried to pick up where he’d left off.
“Emilia?”
“That’s right… I began the trial, and then…”
Emilia’s thoughts returned to the moment right before she’d lost consciousness, to the test. But her reaction had clearly been abnormal, and the sight of her set Subaru’s heart deeply astir.
Emilia embraced her own shoulders, as if remembering the shuddering from mere moments before. Her face was pale, drained of blood, and he could hear her teeth chattering.
“I-it…wasn’t me…! I…said it wasn’t…me…but…”
“Wait, Emilia? Calm down, please. Emilia, look at me, Emilia!”
“No…don’t look at me like that… No, no, no, you’re wrong… Don’t…blame me…!”
Subaru’s voice never registered as Emilia cowered on the spot, covering her face with her palms in denial. Her tearful words turned into sobs, and her crystal clear voice was so full of grief that it pained his heart.
When Emilia crumpled onto the floor, Subaru still had no idea what had happened.
“It’s all right, it’s all right. I’m here. You’re not alone. It’s okay.”
As Emilia shuddered in tears, Subaru tried his best to console her, to protect her, to care for her. He gathered her in his arms and gently stroked her back.
During that time, Emilia continued to sob, seemingly unable to hear Subaru’s voice.
“…ve me, Dad. Save me… Puck, Puck…Pucckkk…”
It was not the man at her side consoling her, but the absent spirit whose name she continued to call.
Sub-chapter 3.
“She finally calmed down a short while ago and is now sound asleep.”
Ram whispered the news when she came out of the room after Subaru had questioned her with a glance. Given her considerate demeanor, what had happened inside the room behind her must have been something else.
While relieved at her reply, he wasn’t relieved enough not to turn his worried eyes toward the closed door.
“That expression isn’t like you, Barusu. Normally you have such a sloppy face. Now that I have seen that somber grimace of yours, I truly have no wish to see it ever again.”
“Nobody asked you… Sorry, making you worry about me like that.”
Ram reacted to those words with a “Ha!” and walked away. Before following in her footsteps, Subaru bit his lip as he turned his eyes toward the door one last time.
Perhaps repeated regrets over his insufficient strength, his weakness causing failure to pile upon failure, had steeled his heart.
“Ohh? I wonder, is Lady Emilia already weeeell?”
Cutting short his lingering sentiments at the closed door, he chased Ram deeper into the building. When he stepped into the room farthest back, he was greeted by Roswaal, lying upon the bed.
The place was at the back of the building in the Sanctuary devoted to Roswaal’s convalescence. From what Subaru had heard, it was actually Ryuzu’s house, but it was currently on loan, the needs of the lord of the land being the highest priority.
—Thanks to being able to use that room, he had ended up carrying Emilia, fallen into disarray at the tomb, into the very same building.
“Yeah. Right now she’s sleeping in her room. Thanks to Ram, she shouldn’t have to see any nightmares.”
“I used aromatic tea that acts as a sedative. Normally it would not work, but the Great Spirit is not currently at her side, so…”
After Subaru replied to Roswaal, Ram put a hand on her pouch as she added her words to his. The tea ingredient seemed to be a different one from what Ram had previously used to lead Subaru astray with an illusion; that there were multiple types rather surprised him.
It went without saying that he ought not to be concerned about bad effects inside his body, but—
“I still have this nagging suspicion you’ve been serving me poison all that time…”
“Too large a dose of any base ingredient for tea will become poison, nothing more. You are a petty man to hold a grudge all this time.”
Speaking those words with a composed expression, Ram stood right at Roswaal’s bedside. For all intents and purposes, the room was host to a one-on-one meeting between Subaru and Roswaal—no other connected persons were welcome.
“Garfiel dragged his feet, but Ryuzu being so sensible was a huge help.”
“Due to her age and seniooority, she has learned the value of discreeeetion. Even Garfiel understands that they cannot achieve their objectives without our cooperation, you see.”
Roswaal’s words made Subaru recall how they’d looked when Subaru had parted ways with them at the tomb. The liberation of the Sanctuary was Garfiel & Co.’s cherished desire. If their side didn’t cooperate, the other side might resort to force, but—
“If we intend to liberate them, they’ll lend us a hand, huh? Damn complicated situation to be in…”
“Because Lady Emilia is with us, our interests are aligned. The obstinacy their side has displaaayed to date should ease… Incidentally, I heard that a follower of yours was preeesent?”
“Follower… Ah, you mean Otto? He’s, well, we stuffed him in the Cathedral for tonight. He actually came to the Sanctuary because he wanted to meet you in the first place, Roswaal, but…”
“Buuuut what?”
Roswaal had one eye closed as Subaru scratched his head. The reason for Otto’s absence was exceptionally clear.
“We’re talking internal camp business from here on. I don’t intend to drag a half-outsider like him into our problems past the point of no return.”
“I see, a wise decision. It would seeeem that you do not enjoy involving friends of yours in your troubles.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, but…well, pretty much, yeah.”
Having mulled over and accepted the circumstances, Subaru shrugged his shoulders, making no great effort to deny the point. From there, despite the absence of Emilia, the subject of their discussion—
“How about tonight we hammer out important stuff for this camp that we’ve been kicking down the road?”
Sub-chapter 4.
“You were the instigator behind the hunt for the White Whale, you dispatched the Archbishop of the Seven Deadly Sins of the Witch Cult taking aim at the mansion and the village, you formed an alliance with Lady Crusch, candidate for the throne. That seems to be your meritorious seeervice record.”
Roswaal’s white-painted brow wrinkled as the detached tone of his voice deepened.
When Subaru attempted to speak about their internal affairs, it was Roswaal’s mouth that summarized the ferocious combat occurring in his absence that Subaru should have spoken about first.
When they were enumerated like that, even Subaru thought his exploits sounded unreal, but he made no effort to deny them; all of it was pure fact.
“I had not asked in detail before the evacuation…but I cannot think the contents anything but fiction.”
“I thought you might say that, but there’s no point hiding it, and I hadn’t boasted about it before! Now come on and praise me!!”
“Yes, yes, good boy, good boy.”
“Put some heart in it!!”
In contrast to the serious Subaru, Ram treated him as flippantly as ever. However, the dull edge to the sarcasm behind her words was likely due to her surprise that Subaru had truly done all of those things.
And the same seemed to go for Roswaal, silent as he strove to comprehend those facts.
“These are unexpected, unanticipated results.”
Lowering his eyes with extremely deep feeling, Roswaal spoke thus as his breath trickled out.
Subaru, utterly convinced Roswaal would praise him in some halfway frivolous manner, was dumbstruck by his reaction. Then Roswaal fixed Subaru in his differently colored eyes as he said, “Subaru. Do you recall the declaration you made at the beginning of the royal selection?”
“Like I could forget it. Like I should ever forget it. I remember each and every word.”
Suddenly, he recalled the abominable memory, and the shame and self-loathing of it scorched his breast.
Even if the numerous people of power and influence in that place had laughed it all off, Subaru alone was not permitted to forget, so that he might never repeat the recklessness, naivete, and stupidity of forgetting what was really important ever again.
But Roswaal responded to Subaru’s reply with a solemn nod.
“In that light, I think your meritorious service should be rewarded. You have proven the words you spoke in that place—upon our safe departure from this place, I shall appoint you knight.”
“”
“Subduing the White Whale with the duchess and taking down an Archbishop of the Seven Deadly Sins are exploits that should be commended. You shall be known as Subaru Natsuki, knight. No one will laugh at you anymore.”
In the name of helping Emilia, he’d opened his big, fat mouth as a youth ignorant of his position.
His naive dreams were broken on harsh reality time and time again. He had fallen first into despair, then madness; then he’d cast everything aside as he raced forward with vengeance in his heart, only to be saved by deep feelings of love— These were the events that had brought him to where he was now.
The prestige Roswaal promised would demonstrate all that time had actually meant something.
It would mean everything Rem had done would also be rewarded; though memories of her actions existed in the minds of none, save Subaru himself.
“…If doing so gives meaning to that battle, I…gratefully accept.”
“You should be proud of these exploits. With your own power, you have won the right to stand at Emilia’s side.”
“…It wasn’t…my power alone.”
Subaru murmured it quietly enough that only he must have heard it. When Roswaal knitted his brows as a result, Subaru tightly closed his eyes for a moment, audibly cracked his neck, then continued.
“You acting serious really throws me off. I’m grateful we can move this talk along, mind you.”
“You wouuuund me. Am I not always serious? Besides, I promised, did I not? That I would face you directly the next time.”
“…You as in me and Emilia. Emilia really should be here, but she’s not…”
“Oh myyyy. You are quite mistaken.”
When Roswaal averted his face, apparently uncomfortable at being misunderstood, Subaru’s breath caught a little.
Roswaal closed one eye as he corrected Subaru’s correction, leaving the gaze of his yellow eye alone—that was his tell when he was hiding something deep within himself.
Subaru got a bad feeling when he looked at Roswaal’s eye and considered the earlier statement.
“What do you…mean by that? Why did you go out of your way to leave Emilia out of this?”
“Is it not rather oooobvious? Dirty matters should be discussed only between trusted coconspiiirators. I am not so gracious as to include someone I do not fully trust in such a meeting.”
“You mean you don’t trust Emilia? What the hell are you talking about out of the blue like that?!”
When Roswaal, resting his back against the bed, calmly revealed his opinion, it drove Subaru into a rage. Of course it did. He was practically saying Emilia was not worthy of his trust. He—Roswaal L. Mathers, none other than Emilia’s backer in the royal selection.
“You’re the one who nominated Emilia for the throne! Where do you get off saying that you don’t trust Emilia…!”
Giving in to his anger, Subaru closed the distance between them to say what was on his mind. He violently rubbed his brow with his fingers over and over as if it were a spell meant to convince his head, flush with blood, to calm down.
It was his bad habit to suddenly lose it in the middle of a conversation. Just how much had he run in circles at the royal capital because of that short temper? He focused on deep breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. He did this a second time, and then a third.
“…Let’s…talk about everything in order, starting with this coconspirator business.”
“Very well. Once you understand that point, it should serve as a reply to your earlier misgivings.”
Subaru chained down his anger, which made Roswaal appear quite satisfied. Subaru crossed his arms and glared at the man, silently prodding him to continue.
“Now then, first, the true meaning behind my use of coconspirator in regards to you…it is quite simple. I wish you to continue providing Lady Emilia aid as you have done to date. Do as much as your feelings dictate until the day she sits upon the throne.”
“That goes without saying…but what the hell will you be doing?”
“Naturally, I shall do the same. Lady Emilia shall have my full support for victory in the royal selection so that she may become the ruler of this kingdom. You see, you and I share the same goal. Thus, we are coconspirators.”
“If that’s all you were planning, I’d just call you an ally. Coconspirator means something different.”
Gritting his teeth as Roswaal presented his terms, Subaru controlled the tone of his voice. He didn’t think Roswaal would invoke the word coconspirators if his motives were limited to the proper ones he had just presented. In the first place, there would be no reason to exclude Emilia from the conversation if that were true. Besides—
“What you’re saying is full of contradictions. If you seriously wanted to put Emilia on the throne, what’s your excuse for slacking off before coming here to the Sanctuary?”
“What do you meaaan by slacking off?”
“That’s obvious! It was common knowledge Emilia publicly entering the royal selection would set the Witch Cult off on a rampage! Everyone said, ‘Oh, Roswaal has to have prepared countermeasures,’ so where the hell were they?! If that’s not slacking off, what is?!”
Subaru replied to Roswaal’s feigned innocence with anger as he pounded home the suspicion he’d wanted to express for some time. Once he’d reached a boiling point, his dissatisfaction had only grown and grown without pause—
“For starters, you hid info on the Witch Cult from Emilia, didn’t you? Emilia didn’t know a damn thing about the Witch Cult. She didn’t understand at all what would happen when she joined the royal selection. If she’d known, everything could’ve gone differently! None of that would have had to…!”
As Subaru spoke, those hellish scenes came rushing back to mind, hells he had peered into several times over.
The villagers slaughtered, the children cruelly put to death, how Petra’s corpse had stripped his mind bare, how Ram’s dead body had carved a hole out of his soul, how Rem’s death had robbed him of even the ability to mourn, and how Emilia’s death—
“…You should have been there. If you’d been there, none of that would have happened. So why…weren’t you there…?”
“Barusu…”
The unconcealable pain and anguish in his voice made even Ram’s cheeks stiffen.
No tears flowed from him. However, with a disheveled face, Subaru accused Roswaal. Only Subaru, who had seen those hellish scenes, had the right to accuse him.
“If you’d stayed behind and protected everyone…I…”
“But while I was absent, you fulfilled my duty in my place, exploits that would make even a knight’s heart swell in pride…”
“—! That’s not the point!”
His gratitude for being honored with the prestigious title of knight rapidly diminished.
Certainly, being awarded the knightly title gave firm meaning to that battle. However, to the Subaru of the present, that battle, in and of itself, was a symbol of his mistakes. If that battle had never happened—
“Barusu, please, calm yourself.”
“Ram…!”
When Subaru unwittingly took a step forward, Ram glared at him from right up close. She shielded Roswaal behind her back, quiet anger resting in her pink eyes.
“Master Roswaal is injured. Even so, he can surely put a stop to any violence from one such as you with a single finger… I shall permit no rudeness when I am present, Barusu.”
“You’re okay with this? It’s the same for you, he left you behind like a sacrificial pawn! Roswaal curled his tail and ran from the Witch Cult! Are you telling me I’m wrong?!”
“I accept that without reservation. Ram forgives all Master Roswaal’s deeds, including however she might be treated, or even eventually cast aside.”
“Then you forgive Rem being sacrificed for stupid stuff like this, too?!”
The incomprehensible loyalty in Ram’s reply set off Subaru like nothing else.
He had avoided the issue several times, telling himself it wasn’t the right time, putting off the truth he needed to speak to her about Rem—and how her memory had faded from the world, now existing only within Subaru’s heart.
With the master she had served for many years, even with her older twin sister who was her other half, Rem—
“—? I know not of whom you speak, but no other name means anything to me. To Ram, Master Roswaal is everything, and all others come second.”
The words Subaru had spat out, giving in to his emotions, were cut down by Ram without the slightest hesitation.
Though Subaru had not planned it that way, her words were solid proof there was no memory of Rem within Ram, presenting him with the painful reality he had repeatedly ignored and avoided.
“”
Drained of strength, Subaru retreated a distance greater than the step forward he had made. The sight of Subaru’s shoulders sinking made Ram knit her brows, whereupon Roswaal weightily shook his head.
“Ram, stand aside. This conversation is between him and me only. I permit you to attend, but I do not permit you to speak. You understaaand, yes?”
“…Yes. I have no excuse for intruding.”
Ram bowed, then attended Roswaal’s bedside once more. As Subaru watched the exchange, he felt something like a breeze blowing through his exceptionally empty chest.
Both of Roswaal’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Subaru hanging his head at that desolate reality.
“Tonight, I respond to you in earnest. This is what I have decided. Thaaaat is why I shall respond to the doubts you toss at me with the truth.”
“…”
“Why did I conceal information from Lady Emilia that I should have disclosed? Why was I absent from the mansion when the Witch Cult was coming to attack? These questions have a single answer.”
Subaru put strength into his neck and lifted up his head. When accepting someone’s reply to your suspicions, you at least had to look him in the eye.
As Subaru did so, Roswaal closed one eye and said…
“—I guided events so they would be resolved without me needing to confront the Witch Cult.”
“…Huh?”
Subaru was dumbstruck, unable to digest the meaning of the words Roswaal had spoken openly while looking him in the eyes.
When he crunched, chewed, and swallowed the words down, tasting their meaning with his brain, the contents permeated his very soul.
“I don’t…get it. Then you mean…what? You ran? You actually did get cold feet when the Witch Cult was coming, and then…? How…could you!”
“Is it truly incomprehensible? That I, among the kingdom’s sages, a prominent man of influence…I, capable of a violent rampage even greater than the menace of the Witch Cult, would avoid battle with the Cult?”
“Damn right it is! You of all people could’ve easily taken care of all of—”
“That is precisely why I did not. Had I resolved the matter, no credit would have gone to Lady Emilia, nor would there be any fame to be won by you, would there? That would have rendered it meaningless.”
“Wh-wha…?”
Subaru genuinely couldn’t comprehend what was being said to him.
The statement would have been a hundred times better if it had been a joke or Roswaal toying with him. But Roswaal’s face showed nothing that could fulfill Subaru’s wish; Roswaal kept one eye closed as he continued.
“The effect was tremeeendous, was it not? Indeed, ever since the Witch Cult was driven off, the attitude of the residents of Earlham Village toward Lady Emilia has been the complete opposite of what it once was. She has gone from a Witch beyond their comprehension to the savior whose efforts protected their very lives…and their assessment of you has similarly risen, yes?”
“Y-you… Do you even understand what you said just now…?”
The jolt inside Subaru’s throat made his voice quiver indistinctly. However, the sounds that were not garbled made Roswaal cock his head, his lack of comprehension clear.
It was that demeanor that gripped the bottom of Subaru’s heart in incomprehensible fear.
Roswaal had essentially said this: His understanding of the menace of the Witch Cult had been in no way deficient. He had anticipated that the Cult would launch an attack. And, so forewarned, he had used the expected disaster for public relations purposes.
But—
“That’s just judging by hindsight. It ended up that way, that’s all. If you’d resolved it all, Emilia definitely…maybe Emilia and the villagers would still be in the same place. But—!”
He recalled the scene from the previous evening—Emilia exchanging words with the residents who had evacuated to the Sanctuary, where they had entrusted their hopes to her.
Certainly, that scene might never have become reality if things hadn’t gone as Roswaal had planned them.
“But that’s all hindsight!! Did you even think about how many people would die because you weren’t there to save them?! Certainly, the casualties were minimized. I worked my ass off for that! But they weren’t zero. People died!”
“Allow me to express my regret for the harm that befell our allies. It is, of course, only natural that our enemies are dead. The Witch Cult force was laid to waste, not a single member surviving. I could not have done it better myself. For this, you seek to apooologize to me?”
“—!! No! No, no, no, that’s not it! That’s not it at all!”
In revulsion, Subaru weakly shook his head, rejecting Roswaal’s words.
Why wasn’t he getting through? Why didn’t he get it? Roswaal’s intent had been just too cruel, too heartless. It was fine to charge straight toward your goal, but couldn’t he just listen?
But this wasn’t simply charging forward. It was as if he was ignoring every obstacle that had fallen upon the roadway before him.
“…If I’d stayed a piece of garbage that couldn’t accomplish anything, where would you be then? The result would be that nobody was saved, not Emilia, not the villagers.”
As a matter of fact, Subaru had laid eyes upon that result multiple times over. If anything, that result was inevitable.
In most worlds, entrusting the matter to Subaru Natsuki had led to the worst-case scenario.
“—I left it in your hands…because I trusted you.”
Subaru wanted to know if that reply was sincere. When he heard it, all he could do was laugh out loud in despair.
“…That means you don’t intend to give me a serious answer.”
“Perhaps it is not the answer you hoped for, but I have stated the truth. I decided that tonight, I would not deceive you in any way. If I cannot speak of something, I shall say so, and if something is inconvenient, I shall hold my tongue, but I swear to you that no words I have spoken are lies.”
Roswaal’s words were solemn. However, they invited too much distrust for belief. From the conversations they’d had to date, Subaru had no faith left over to take his words at face value.
Despite Subaru’s silent distrust, Roswaal’s expression did not falter as he continued.
“I say again: Where this matter is concerned, I made the decision to trust you. I trusted that you would strive for Lady Emilia’s sake, that you would exhaust all efforts to achieve an alliance with Lady Crusch, that you would put your life on the line to successfully fend off the attack by the Witch Cult, and thus increase your renown.”
“What do you know about me?! You’ve known me for only two months. Do I look like a man who can accomplish things like that?!”
Subaru was indignant. He was fed up with eloquent, pretty-sounding phrases that only made his ears hurt.
His teeth were bared, his beady eyes grew tense, and Subaru pointed straight at Roswaal as he howled.
“There’s no way in hell. When you parted ways with me, I was a piece of garbage through and through. It was only after that I changed from garbage to something halfway decent. What came after was only because it was the only thing left to find inside of me— What did you see that lets you trust me like that?”
It wasn’t a discussion. If the other party had no intention of being serious, conversation was futile.
Roswaal’s demeanor toward the raggedly breathing Subaru had not changed one iota. Therefore, that gaze itself was his reply. He intended neither to correct Subaru’s view nor to state the objective truth.
“…It would seem our conversation for this evening is at an impaaasse.”
Roswaal declared the conversation over, almost as if he could see straight into Subaru’s inner being. Subaru had no objection, either. At the very least, not until he was ready to engage in a real conversation.
“Though your esteem of me has plummeted, I cannot call that a pure disappointment… Incidentally, I think I hardly need to confirm, but concerning tonight, Lady Emilia…”
“I’m not saying a word. Like I could tell her anyway. Besides, whatever you’re planning, whether you’re laughin’ behind whatever face you make or not…what matters now is the result of Emilia’s own choices.”
Her determination to challenge the tomb’s trial, her promise to liberate the villagers urging her onward from the barrier, her resolve toward the royal selection from that point on—Emilia had chosen all these things for herself.
It was absolutely not because she was dancing to Roswaal’s tune, manipulated by his shady schemes.
“Though you are governed by anger, within your mind, you correctly grasp the situation. For the sake of Lady Emilia’s royal selection, there must be no discord created between her, myself, and the villagers.”
“”
“Meaning you have become an adult—you are a worthy coconspirator indeed.”
“…There’s no good death waitin’ for you.”
“I am aware of this. I shall without doubt fall into hell. Therefore, I must exhaust all efforts to bring my ambition to fruition in this era before that day comes.”
Subaru breathed hard at the stifling situation as Roswaal gave him the adoring gaze a predator had for his prey. Subaru returned that gaze in enmity before turning his back.
The conversation was over. He didn’t want to spend another instant in the man’s presence. But—
“I have one last thing to ask you. I’m not sure you’ll want to give me a straight answer, though.”
“What is it? My earlier promise, to answer truthfully, remains in effect. Ask whatever you wiiiish.”
“It’s about Beatrice.”
The instant Subaru invoked that name, all composure vanished from Roswaal’s face. “Beatrice,” he murmured to himself, regaining the aloof, clownish demeanor that had reigned until the moment before. “You pay a great deeeal of attention to that girl. What is it you wish to ask?”
“I had a chance to speak with her before coming here to the Sanctuary, and though she wouldn’t tell me much…she said all the answers to my doubts can be found here. If you’re in a mood to speak seriously, what do you think she meant by that?”
When their conversation in the archive of forbidden books drew to an end, Beatrice had spoken those words to Subaru with a tearful face. Frederica had also said Beatrice was one of the very few people related to Roswaal with whom he shared his thoughts.
If that was so, then Roswaal might understand just why Beatrice had had that sad look on her face.
“Before I reply to that question, there is something I wish to ask for myself.”
“…What, then?”
“To aid Lady Emilia, you entered the tomb. By whatever twist of fate, it seems the tomb’s punishment did not go into effect… Did you meet someone within the tomb?”
The question Roswaal posed made Subaru sink into thought for one brief moment.
Despite hearing that it was dangerous, Subaru had rushed into the tomb to rescue Emilia. Though Subaru had, in fact, undergone the trial, he hadn’t spoken a word of that to Roswaal.
One reason was that the flow of conversation hadn’t given him much of a chance, but the biggest reason was Subaru’s lack of trust toward him.
Roswaal had decided to use even the Witch Cult’s onslaught to increase Emilia’s popularity. If he knew that Subaru had challenged the tomb, Subaru couldn’t even fathom what schemes he might come up with this time.
In the first place, it was unclear to whom he was referring. Subaru hadn’t metin the tomb, or anyone else.
“What are you talking about? It was inside a tomb. Like there was room to meet anyone. A zombie, maybe?”
“I do not know what you mean by ‘zombi,’ but…no, that answer is suffiiicient. Thus, my reply to your question is simple: it is not yet time to speak about the matter.”
“Ha! So that’s your story in the end. When will you be able to talk about it, then?”
“That depends on you. Though, if possible, I would like tonight’s pact to be invoked as soooon as possible.”
“—?”
His manner of speech was deeply suggestive, but Roswaal did not seem ready to explain any further.
Thinking back, Subaru felt deeply despondent at how evasive Roswaal had been from start to finish. Everything, even the prestige that came with the title of knight, had been for the purpose of setting up a favorable conversation with Subaru.
“Well then, Subaru. Let us share pleaaasant conversation again.”
“…”
Subaru, showered by Roswaal’s sarcastic-sounding words even on the eve of his departure, vengefully slammed the door shut.
Sub-chapter 5.
“Subaru?”
Subaru scratched his head at the fact that he’d been addressed by name despite entering the room with great care. When he quietly closed the door and turned around, the girl on the bed—Emilia—seemed to have just awakened from a deep sleep as their eyes met.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“No…I woke up a little earlier. I was surprised you were sooo quiet, Subaru.”
“Keeping the noise down when I walk has become a habit. But my scheme has been foiled. I was actually thinking I’d play a prank on Emilia-tan while she slept…”
“A prank…? You mean like writing on my face?”
“You got me! I definitely don’t have the courage to try a worse prank, either…!”
The way Emilia tilted her head, the thought of other things between boy and girl not even crossing her mind, took the wind out of Subaru’s sails. Regardless, now that she’d awoken, he sat by her side and checked the state of everything else.
The color of her face and her breathing were both normal. Her face was cute, too. She’d returned to her normal self without any noticeable issues.
“I’m sorry, Subaru. I reeeally lost it when I woke up in the tomb.”
“Eh, ah, that’s fine, that’s fine. More importantly, I was worried you might have bumped something when you first fell down. It really is a lot easier on both of us if I can watch you without being separated.”
“…Yeah, it might well be.”
“Mm?”
Subaru, replying in what he thought was his usual flippant tone, narrowed his brows at Emilia’s reaction. She lowered her eyes, looking as if she was thinking about something as she clutched Subaru’s sleeve.
It was as if she were unconsciously grasping his hand to allay her worries. Subaru stared at the gesture when—
“—? Ah!”
Following Subaru’s gaze, Emilia was startled when she realized her fingers were grasping the sleeve of his tracksuit. She proceeded to release her fingers, her face reddening as she waved her hand to and fro.
“I-I didn’t mean to. Huh, that’s strange. Why did I do something like…”
“My, my, Emilia-tan finally wants me enough to subconsciously reach out her hand. Hey, if you want to rely on me for everything, you can just come out and say it.”
“That’s…totally not it. My hand probably just…slipped.”
“You sure denied that fast, and what do you mean by slipped?!”
Emilia shook her head at the half-joking assertion, wearing a strained, embarrassed smile. Subaru did not press the issue. After all, she didn’t seem to want to talk about the worries subconsciously connected to her actions just then.
And naturally, those were related to the trial that night…
“Can I ask you something about the trial? What kind of past did you see inside?”
“—!! Subaru, how do you know about…?”
“If it’s tough to talk about, I won’t ask about the details. I have a past I don’t wanna talk about, too.”
“Th-that’s not what I… How…do you know that the trial showed me my past?”
As Emilia’s violet eyes opened wide, her words made Subaru let an ah! out of his throat.
Certainly, no one was supposed to know the details of the test within the tomb before entering, and even then, they would only find out if they were challengers themselves. Of course, Subaru could have just told Emilia that he’d undergone the trial just like she had, but—
“”
Looking back at Emilia’s trembling eyes, Subaru swallowed the words with which to convey that fact. Given that she was already shaken and discouraged, he feared that telling Emilia he’d taken the same trial, but had overcome it, might push her farther into a corner. Nor was this the only reason not to tell her.
Accordingly, Subaru closed his eyes, pushing the role of the villain onto someone absent from that place.
“That jerk Roswaal was keeping quiet that he knew about the trial. He said something about facing your past, but, ah, I don’t really know the details past that…”
“Is that so… Did Roswaal…say anything else?”
“Err, maybe that it’s three parts in all, and seeing the past is the first one?”
A barefaced lie, Subaru’s reply made Emilia look dispirited. “Three parts…,” she echoed.
At least she didn’t question Subaru’s assertion that Roswaal was the source of the information. In reality, he’d heard it from , but he avoided such a problematic explanation.
“Setting the number of problems aside, today’s challenge…didn’t go all that well, did it?”
“…Mm. So it would seem. I tried hard, but it suddenly ended midway…”
“Sorry, I think that’s because I woke you up. Seems being touched from the outside wakes you up. Come to think of it, I feel like I got told that from the start.”
“Who…told you that?”
“…Who was it, I wonder.”
The creases of Subaru’s brow deepened as he tried to wrap his head around it. The thought easily rolled off his tongue, but where had the idea come from? When he thought about it, nothing came to mind, so he put off forming a conclusion.
“Let’s switch topics. Tonight was no good. But that just means you can take it again. You can take it as many times as you need to… So the rest is up to how you feel, Emilia-tan.”
“How I…feel?”
“I could tell from the look on your face as you slept that it wasn’t a warm, fuzzy past. But if it’s not you who liberates this Sanctuary, there’s no meaning to it… That’s what I think, anyway— For that, are you going to challenge it again?”
“”
When pressed to choose, Emilia took in a deep breath and fell silent. Her trembling fingers went to her own neck, touching the green crystal that dangled from it…but her only family made no response.
Emilia was hard-pressed for an answer as Subaru watched her, silently awaiting her decision.
If, for example, by any chance, Emilia recoiled from challenging the trial again, too afraid to face her past, Subaru did have an idea.
It just took someone else qualified to do it instead. And that would be Subaru Natsuki. But—
“—Subaru, you idiot.”
“Hey, I’ll accept any answer you… Wait, what’s with the sudden insult?!”
“If you say that with gentle eyes and a gentle voice, there’s no way I’ll say I can’t, is there? I’m not a very smart girl…but even I know that this is my duty.”
“Emilia…”
“Don’t pamper me. Trust me… Maybe I don’t sound very convincing saying that after today, but…”
Right after speaking with such strong resolve, Emilia flushed as she lowered her eyes. However, her words made Subaru exhale at length. “That’s not true at all,” he said, shaking his head.
Emilia had said she’d do it. Then she certainly would. From all the time he’d seen her, not just that night, Subaru genuinely trusted her.
“Hey, I’m with you for makeup tests or anything else. I trust you. I’ll wait.”
“Mm, thank you.”
When Subaru smiled at her, Emilia finally regained the strength to send a charming smile back at him. It was a small, fleeting smile, but the resolve it contained made Subaru lose himself in the sight of it for a moment.
“But the one thing that pains my heart is…the trouble it must be for the people of Earlham Village…”
She’d promised them she would definitely liberate them from the barrier and return them to their village. She hoped that they were not people to shun someone upon learning of her failure, but she couldn’t help its weighing on her mind.
But Subaru had an idea where that was concerned.
“Can you let me handle that part?”
“You have something in mind?”
“I do. I don’t plan on causing Emilia-tan or the villagers any trouble.”
“…Understood. I trust you, Subaru.”
When Subaru thumped his hand on his chest, Emilia narrowed her eyes and immediately nodded. Subaru was a little surprised at the instant decision, whereupon Emilia gave a tiny, pleasant smile.
“As if I’d doubt you now, Subaru—I trust you.”
“…”
Those words left Subaru quietly closing his eyes, thinking hard in his own mind.
Emilia’s trust was a product of Subaru’s actions to date—and even if those had proceeded according to the sketch drawn by Roswaal’s own hand, it would not be that way from here on.
“—No way I’m gonna let everyone dance on top of your palm.”
He would not permit Roswaal’s will to intervene as it had so far.
And, there in the Sanctuary, it was Subaru Natsuki’s job to prove it.
Sub-chapter 6.
Three days later, Subaru executed the plan that he had mentioned to Emilia.
“I must say, I am impressed you managed to persuade Garfiel.”
Otto shared his thoughts while Subaru checked the condition of the dragon carriage with Patlash, his favorite land dragon, hitched to it.
Subaru’s back was turned as he responded with a “Yeah” before continuing. “It took a little time, but it’s a big help that I somehow got through to him.”
“Though from my perspective, it was difficult to believe he would listen to what we had to say…”
“…You might be a merchant, but you’re not a good judge of people, are you?”
“I suppose not! Having associated with all kinds of company to date, and never earning even the slightest bit of profit without a great deal of toil, it’s enough that even I doubt my own eyes!”
Otto responded to Subaru’s barb with a shrill, resentful comment of his own. But Subaru understood why he felt that way. To begin with, the point of taking Otto to the Sanctuary was that Subaru could fulfill his promise of granting him an audience with Roswaal.
“And yet, to think I would go three, no, four whole days without meeting him once, only to return to the village where we started…”
“I’m sorry about that. But you won’t be able to talk to Roswaal until the heat dies down. If you want me to introduce you with a ton of sparks flyin’ in the air, I can force the issue, but…”
“No, no, no! Please, there’s no need! I do not want to become involved in a strange situation like that!”
Otto’s recoiling like that had been partly responsible for the delay in introducing him and Roswaal.
Scratching his cheek, Subaru focused on what lay ahead of their dragon carriage—the other carriages for evacuating the villagers assembled at the entrance to the Sanctuary. There were a total of fifty villagers and cooperating traveling merchants in seven dragon carriages, all moving in one rather large convoy.
Subaru and Otto had arranged to bring them along on their return to Earlham Village.
The condition that was required for it to happen—that the barrier enveloping the Sanctuary be lifted—remained unmet, but…
“Lady Emilia ain’t got a choice. From the moment she stepped inside the barrier, she either lifts it, or she ain’t leavin’. They ain’t got no value as hostages no more, so go ahead and return ’em to their village…”
“—Garfiel.”
As Subaru watched the villagers prepare to embark, a figure with blond hair and a bad attitude approached. The man who always had a dangerous look in his eyes glanced over, glaring at Subaru and Otto as they stood side by side.
“Waaah!”
That gaze made Otto let out a small cry as he meekly retreated to the other side of the dragon carriage. Even considering the impact from their first meeting, it was quite an attitude.
“Don’t boss him around too much. He’s a super-important… Wait, why is he important again?”
“If you’re wonderin’ out loud, how the hell am I supposed to know? Besides, him actin’ like a chicken is his problem.”
Garfiel crinkled his nose as he sourly folded his arms. But though his actions were frequently crude, Garfiel was a man unexpectedly attentive to details. Subaru had learned that thanks to having come into contact with him repeatedly over the last few days.
“Who’d have thought you were taking care of the villagers who’d evacuated…”
“What’s that? Can’t be helped, damn it. Not like I can have the old hags pushin’ themselves too hard, and a lot of ’em don’t wanna get friendly with strangers either… The less trouble the better.”
“Meaning my suggestion put us in the same boat?”
“Pretty much. ‘It’s the Maringo Island way’ and stuff.”
Subaru was tempted to ponder how he was managing to hold such a normal conversation with Garfiel. But Subaru ignored that and lightly bowed his head to Garfiel once more.
After all, without Garfiel’s cooperation, the freeing of hostages wouldn’t have been possible.
“Cut that out, it’s embarrasin’. I told you not to bow your head an’ stuff.”
“Even if you say that, I have to do this much. I know you guys have your own circumstances, and you accepted this because it suits your own interests, too, but…”
Welcoming strangers into the Sanctuary meant exhausting some resources.
The settlement did have its own fields, and Roswaal had arranged for the regular delivery of supplies, but a prolonged emergency situation wasn’t good for either population.
That was why Subaru had brought the matter up with Garfiel, who had in turn spoken with Ryuzu and the other residents, resulting in that morning’s freeing of the hostages.
“That’s why I’m grateful. The villagers, their feelings are a little mixed, but they’re happy, too—besides, we really stuck it to Roswaal.”
“Yeah, that makes me feel good, too. I’ll accept yer thanks, then.”
When Subaru gave a mischievous grin, Garfiel revealed his fangs and let out a hearty laugh.
Not only had the proposal been Subaru’s idea, but Roswaal had approved when he had been informed after the fact. From what Subaru had picked up through Ram, that had to have given Roswaal plenty of heartburn.
Ever since the nighttime discussion a few nights earlier, Subaru had stubbornly resisted meeting Roswaal again. At the very least, he didn’t intend to forgive Roswaal until the latter made a proper apology.
That was unfortunate for Otto, but—
“Subaru!”
Just when there was a tiny break in the conversation, a voice clear as a bell called out Subaru’s name. When Subaru looked back, Emilia was waving as she walked toward them.
“…We’ll talk again later. When we’re on the road.”
Noticing her approach, Garfiel whispered only that into Subaru’s ear before moving off from his side. He walked off with an exaggerated swagger as Emilia arrived, cocking her head to the side as she posed a question.
“Err, did I butt into your conversation with Garfiel?”
“Oh, that’s all right. It’s not like it was anything important, and Emilia-tan’s my top priority.”
“I’m reeeally happy to hear that, but right now the villagers should be your top priority.”
When the corners of Emilia’s eyebrows lowered as she gave a conflicted smile, Subaru nodded in reply to her request. Then she turned her mind’s attention toward the villagers’ dragon carriages, where preparations to return were underway.
Subaru had a strong grasp on the complex feelings Emilia harbored inside.
“I really do think lifting the barrier and heading out like a big parade would be great, but…”
“…I’m sorry. It’s because I haven’t overcome the trial even after several days. But I don’t think it’s right they shouldn’t be reunited with their families because of me.”
Her voice full of feelings of self-reproach, Emilia bit her thin lips in apparent regret over her own powerlessness.
—In the three days since they’d first challenged the trial, the tomb’s methodology had become clearer bit by bit.
Just as Subaru had remembered, it was possible to undertake it any number of times. However, it could only be undertaken once per night. Emilia had made an attempt every night without rest—only to be met with failure each time.
When night fell, Subaru watched Emilia confront her past at the tomb, and he saw the pain break her heart, causing her to return tearful and haggard.
Repeated painful experiences had resulted in a rising pile of failures. Moreover, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how much her spirit had been worn down in the process.
“Anyway, you can’t get impatient and force yourself. Since ancient times, no one has managed to accomplish anything good with those two things. I’ll get the villagers back home and come back here right away…but it still won’t be till tomorrow that I can make it. You can put off tonight’s challenge if you want, you know.”
Subaru couldn’t remain in the Sanctuary to be at Emilia’s side that night. Because of that, Subaru had proposed several times already that she take a break from challenging the tomb. But Emilia firmly shook her head this time as well.
“It’s all right. It’s true I’m…a little impatient…but I’m the one who said I’d do this. I don’t want to disappoint the villagers or the people of the Sanctuary.”
“…Gotcha. All right, then. I won’t say any more.”
“Thank you. Also…though you should also be mindful of the villagers, be mindful of Frederica.”
Now that they’d checked off what each had to do, Emilia worriedly added that at the end.
Her worry was rooted in their lack of knowledge about where Frederica stood. If Ram’s warning was anything to go by, Frederica was involved with those opposed to the liberation of the Sanctuary. Subaru hadn’t the faintest idea how she’d treat him and Otto upon their return to the mansion.
“—If Frederica bears Lady Emilia ill will, the mansion should be an empty shell right about now.”
“…Huh? Ram? What’d you come here for?”
Ram, slipping through the line of dragon carriages, came over and promptly joined their conversation.
Much like with Roswaal, Subaru wasn’t feeling particularly positive about her. Considering the issue of Rem and her behavior—namely her taking Roswaal’s side—Subaru was standoffish with her.
Ram feigned ignorance of the discord with Subaru, narrowing her almond-shaped eyes as she spoke.
“Greetings, Barusu. I have merely come out of my way to see you off in Master Roswaal’s stead. As a lord, it pains him greatly to not be present as his people begin to depart.”
“You’ve got some nerve to be…”
“In addition, he sends a message to Barusu for his return to the mansion. If Frederica concerns you, I believe it is all the more important you should hear it.”
When Subaru clicked his tongue at the preamble, Ram dangled the existence of information he could not afford to dismiss in front of his nose. Truth be told, it was very difficult for Subaru to endure going along with it, but…
“What should I do, then, if Frederica is a concern?”
“Lady Emilia is so forthright. You should learn from her, Barusu.”
Ram employed Emilia to sarcastically pester Subaru, clapping her hands with excessive glee. Then, as they caught their breath, Ram continued in a quiet tone of voice.
“He said that if you are concerned about confronting Frederica, rely upon Lady Beatrice.”
“Rely on Beatrice? Hey, listen closer when people explain stuff. That’s a majorly high-difficulty thing in itself. In this situation, just meeting her isn’t simple at…”
“It is you who should listen, Barusu. Please be quiet until I am finished— Certainly, it is not easy to speak to Lady Beatrice. That is where Master Roswaal’s message should come into play.”
The grave accents of her voice made Subaru swallow his words and indicate for her to continue. His gaze made Ram lick her lips before she spoke.
“He instructed, upon returning to the mansion, to say this: ‘Roswaal said ask your questions.’”
“Questions…?”
“Ram does not know the details. However, Master Roswaal stated that once this reaches Lady Beatrice’s ears…the situation shall change. I came only to deliver this message to you.”
Ram made that declaration with a composed look, showing that she was not of a mind to entertain any questions about the matter. Subaru mulled over her demeanor and the words she had spoken. In the end, he grimaced because he didn’t understand their meaning.
“So if I tell Beatrice that, she’ll listen to what I have to say…is that it?”
“Who knows? That surely depends on you, Barusu… See the villagers home safely, please.”
Placing a very strong emphasis on that last part, Ram turned her back to him and left, her business concluded.
Taken aback by her attitude, Subaru scratched his head.
“Ram…no, Roswaal’s probably hiding something, damn it.”
“…”
“Emilia?”
“Eh? Ah, yes, nothing. No worries.”
In the blink of an eye, Emilia’s gloomy expression vanished as she straightened her back and turned to face Subaru. Then she smiled pleasantly at Subaru once more before she continued.
“I don’t know how far we should trust the advice from Roswaal that Ram gave us, but…don’t be reckless— May the blessings of the spirits be with you.”
To a spirit mage, this was an important phrase, special words to send others off. Subaru answered with a solemn nod.
“Though that might not sound very convincing coming from me right at this moment.”
“That’s not true— I’ll be back. You hang in there, too, Emilia.”
Instead of telling her not to be impatient or reckless, he tried to say something else. Rather than reinforce her worries, he tried to convey his trust to bolster her spirit, even if it only helped a tiny bit.
“…Mm-hmm. You, too, Subaru.”
Emilia nodded, and it was right around then that the preparations to depart were complete.
Sub-chapter 7.
With Emilia, and subsequently Ram, seeing them off, Subaru and the others set off from the Sanctuary in their dragon carriages.
At a steady pace, it wouldn’t even take a half day to reach Earlham Village. The main concern on the road ahead was the barrier that blocked the passage of those who were mixed and led people astray, but—
“If ya know the right path and yer a pureblood who doesn’t trigger th’ barrier, ain’t no problem. Ain’t like either o’ us wanna keep more people with grudges than we need.”
“Beyond that, I’m grateful that you offered yourself as a guide to make sure we don’t get lost, but…”
Garfiel was inside the dragon carriage, sitting in his seat at an angle and having a great time. Sitting opposite him, Subaru leaned on an elbow and sighed.
“You’re not guiding us. Hell, you’re practically falling asleep. Did you ditch the job?”
“Naw. It’s just, that black land dragon of yers is too damn good. She’s got a perfect grasp of the road from just runnin’ down it once, so there ain’t nothin’ for me to do.”
“Aside from her taste in men, my Patlash really is perfect, isn’t she…?”
Subaru was very fond of his favorite dragon whose specs were so high they had earned Garfiel’s seal of approval. But that she’d picked Subaru as her owner might have been indicative of a certain flaw in her character.
Either way, her amazing performance was why Subaru had ended up one-on-one with Garfiel. Over at the driver’s seat, Otto made a point of having nothing to do with the conversation.
And so their chatter naturally drifted to the topic that they had set aside until now.
“So. Before ya head out, there’s somethin’ I wanted to talk to ya about. Unless yer real bad at guessing, I think ya can imagine what it is.”
“…Sorry, setting aside opinions on whether I’m good or bad at guesswork, there’s a whole bunch of problems I can think of. Unless you tell me the specifics, no way I’m gonna understand what you mean.”
“Well, ain’t that rough. In that case, I’ll lend ya a hand in solvin’ yer problems.”
Garfiel spread his thighs where he sat, turning a sharp gaze toward Subaru. Subaru’s breath caught as he recoiled from those eyes that were not so much piercing as they were cutting.
“The way you say that doesn’t sound like a good omen to me… In other words…?”
“Hey, third rate—you took the trial, didn’t you?”
“”
The question Garfiel posed in a low voice, like the guttural growl of a beast, ran right through Subaru.
When Subaru narrowed his eyes at the question, Garfiel shook his head.
“Don’t hide it. I ain’t picking on ya. I’m wonderin’, like, people not qualified take the punishment once, and then they’re free to enter the second time an’ after… That’s just a guess, not like anyone’s tried it.”
“If you wanna tell Roswaal to try it, I’m not gonna stop you.”
“Me, I’d love him to try, too, but Ram’d smack me to death, so I’ll pass.”
With a pained look and a flippant tongue, Garfiel bared his fangs and laughed a little.
As he’d pointed out, he’d come to the conclusion that Subaru had been able to enter the tomb because it was his second time. There was no way for Garfiel to be sure, but it seemed he intended to make something out of it.
“Let’s say for the sake of argument that’s true… What do you plan to do about it?”
“Now, hold on. I figured ya wouldn’t cop to it. That’s just a what-if, so I’ll talk about somethin’ easier for ya to agree to. This is ‘Gam and Gum Bridge Building’–level stuff.”
Garfiel unleashed another one of his trademark mystery phrases, and while Subaru felt his mouth go dry from the incredibly not-casual level of pressure it suggested, he drew in his chin, indicating he would at least hear out the proposal. Accepting this, Garfiel continued.
“It’s real simple. If yer qualified…then you take the trial in Lady Emilia’s place. Lift the barrier for me and my people.”
“—!! Wait, I can’t do that! That assumes Emilia’s gonna fail!”
Garfiel was proposing that Subaru challenge it in Emilia’s place.
Certainly, the thought had grazed Subaru’s head several times over. As a matter of fact, Subaru had already passed one of the three parts of the trial, leaving two obstacles to go. If pressed, he would admit he held a strong desire to challenge it.
But that was something he wanted to avoid. If he did that, all Emilia’s struggles to date would be for—
“Don’t get me wrong. Me and the old hag wanna be freed from the Sanctuary. An’ we don’t much care who does it.”
“That’s…”
“You wantin’ Lady Emilia to do it so she can have the old hags and the hostages thankin’ her—that’s your problem. Includin’ wantin’ her to overcome a hateful past and take the sting off it, that’s all your problem—it ain’t got nothin’ to do with us.”
Subaru couldn’t summon a rebuttal to Garfiel’s words.
Looking at it from Garfiel’s point of view, of course that’s how he saw the Sanctuary situation. Just as he’d said, having Emilia undertake the trial, and hoping that she would overcome it, was essentially the solution to a personal problem.
When Subaru hung his head at this sound argument, Garfiel sighed as he added more.
“—Is the past really something ya gotta overcome in the first place…?”
“Eh?”
“For three days I’ve been watchin’ Lady Emilia challenge the trial, same as you. It’s breakin’ her. Seein’ her come out all messed up like that—I can’t stand to watch.”
Crinkling the skin of his nose, Garfiel brought up the heartbreaking sight of Emilia right after emerging from the tomb.
The number of times Emilia had failed to overcome the trial were adding up. But it wasn’t just that—it was the sight of her turning back: broken, panicked, calling for Puck, then finally sleeping as if her strength was exhausted.
The ordeal was excruciating. But what lay beyond her after she overcame that was—
“I believe Emilia will overcome it. That’s why I’ll…”
“And yer free to hope she does. But can Lady Emilia really overcome her past? Could it be that crying and going all I’m scared I’m scared is what she really wants to do? Me, I can’t really tell.”
“What Emilia…really wants…”
The words Garfiel threw out struck Subaru like a shower of cold water.
Subaru had meant to respect Emilia’s wishes and devotedly support her until the matter was resolved. However painful it was to climb that wall, as long as Emilia challenged it without fail, he would continue lending her a hand.
—Emilia, challenging the tomb in spite of her trembling legs, heedless of the cry of her heart.
“…”
Right then, when Garfiel said it out loud, Subaru arrived at the possibility for the first time.
—The possibility that she wanted to be rescued, that she was searching for salvation.
—If, in her own heart, she truly wanted someone else to fight in her place…
—Then who should be that someone, if not Subaru himself?
“…That’s one more thing I’ve gotta really talk to her about when I get back.”
“Huuuh?”
“Nothing… Setting aside whether to accept your proposal or not, it sure does sound like it’d help solve my current problems. Gotta say, you really are a surprising guy.”
“Ha! Don’t say stupid stuff. Me, I just wanna improve my odds even a lil’ bit.”
Clenching his fangs in annoyance, Garfiel turned his face away from Subaru. Rather than this being a cute reaction in the vein of concealing a blush, he seemed genuinely irritated, which brought a pained smile to Subaru’s face.
But when it came to his assertion about improving the odds, there was a lot there Subaru could agree with.
“What do you wanna do when you get out of the Sanctuary?”
“…Well, ain’t that outta the blue. What I wanna do once I’m out, huh?”
“You’ve been twisting arms left and right to get the barrier lifted and escape, right? I was thinking you had to have something you wanted to do on the outside…”
“…”
He’d innocently raised the topic, but Garfiel looked completely taken aback. It was as if he found the question unexpected, or even as if it was something he’d never thought of before.
“…That’s somethin’ only a person who can freely come ’n’ go would say. If ya can go wherever the hell ya want, ya can understand how me an’ the old hags feel, right?”
Finally, Garfiel slowly spat those words out. Subaru felt like he’d been insulting, but Garfiel stood up, giving him no opportunity to apologize.
“We’re close to the barrier. This is as far as I go with ya. Take care of the rest, ya hear?”
“You bet… Er, I’ll be coming back real soon. Not like I have zero worries about stuff, though…”
He was worried about returning to the mansion. On top of that, he felt a duty to make sure of certain things.
Petra’s safety was obviously one concern, but even more than that, making sure whether a certain sleeping girl was safe—
“…Well, crap. Can’t be helped.”
“Garfiel?”
Garfiel scruffed up his blond hair as he harshly clicked his tongue. Surprised by the gesture, Subaru turned toward him as he put a hand into his own waistcloth. Then—
“—Take this with ya.”
“This crystal…it’s the same as the one Frederica had.”
The piece of jewelry Garfiel took out of his pocket and offered Subaru was a necklace of a blue crystal on a string. The gem looked identical to the one Frederica had possessed.
The twin blue crystals were undeniable proof that Garfiel and Frederica shared some kind of bond.
“I don’t intend to talk about our circumstances. Just…it’s trouble for us if ya don’t come back. So I’m givin’ this to ya. In a pinch, show it to Frederica.”
“…Taking this before I head off makes me worry I’ll get teleported by the barrier all over again…”
“If ya don’t need it, just give it back. But havin’ it might help ya in a pinch.”
When Subaru turned the crystal over in his palm, Garfiel reached out like he wanted to take it back. With a grand gesture, Subaru escaped from his hand and stuffed the crystal he had received into his pocket.
He didn’t know what lay between Garfiel and Frederica. They were likely blood relatives—the barrier that supposedly rejected the passage of anything considered mixed seemed like a literal impassable wall between the pair.
If, perhaps, the barrier was the reason Frederica had been scheming—
“I have to find out what Frederica meant to do. So, well, wait for good news, ’kay?”
“Ha! What’s this good-news business? If it ain’t like ‘Balulumororoi makes the sun go down,’ then no way I’d ever tell the difference.”
Subaru, in his attempt to bid Garfiel farewell on a positive note, drew the first smile from Garfiel he had seen that wasn’t related to his ferocity. However—
“I still have no idea what makes the sun go down.”
Subaru remained ignorant of just what the mystery phrase pressing against his back meant.
Sub-chapter 8.
Eight hours after setting off from the Sanctuary—and six since parting ways with Garfiel—Subaru arrived back at Roswaal Manor, just before sunset.
“Will you really be all right without me there with you?”
Otto spoke with a concerned, subdued voice from the dragon carriage halted in Earlham Village.
Now that the refugees had been safely transported back to the village, Otto and Subaru watched as moving reunions broke out between family members who had been temporarily separated.
Otto was no doubt keeping his voice down because he didn’t want to interrupt the reunions.
“Yeah. I’ll head back to the mansion by myself for now. If nothing happens, I’ll send my thoughts over to you straightaway, so hook up with me after getting that, ’kay?”
“Mr. Natsuki, you have so many distractions, I am concerned that my accepting your precious thoughts might leave you in dire straits… I’m joking, but let me speak seriously. If you are trying to be considerate toward me, then…”
“I won’t say that’s completely inaccurate, but…you’re my insurance.”
When Subaru scratched his cheek and spoke those words, Otto tilted his head and asked, “Insurance?” Nodding back toward him, Subaru explained.
“At the very least, you’re the only other person here who knows our circumstances. If you figure something really did happen to me, I want you to avoid doing anything crazy and report back to the Sanctuary.”
“…I would rather not speak of such things, even if it’s only just in case, but…”
“Well, since you’re our crew’s Mr. Dependable Merchant, I’m countin’ on ya!”
“Yes, leave it to… Wait, since when have you arbitrarily lumped me in with your faction?!”
When Otto went shrill at being entrusted with a job he didn’t remember accepting, Subaru forced a smile and set out from the village. Straddling Patlash, he raced like the wind up the road from the village to the mansion.
“”
“What, are you worried about me? It’s all right. I’m not gonna cause you any trouble.”
When they arrived at the front gate, Subaru dropped off Patlash’s back and rubbed the tip of her nose. His favorite land dragon responded with a lively gesture, rubbing him with her head, and accompanied Subaru on his way to the mansion’s entrance hall.
The day had stretched into dusk. The orange sun shone on Roswaal Manor, nestled between the mountains; gradually, he sensed night approaching from the sky to the east.
“…First, door number one.”
Subaru spoke those words as he stood before the doors and put his hand on the knocker. Taking a deep breath, he strongly knocked with it, announcing the arrival of a guest to all within the building.
For a time, he waited for a response from inside, but—
“—Door number one, no good. Proceeding to door number two.”
When the supposedly present servants didn’t reply, Subaru suppressed a sigh as he gently pressed his hand to the doors. When he applied a little pressure, he found that they had been carelessly left unlocked. Without much difficulty, he slipped through the gap between the doors and trespassed on the mansion.
“”
The worried breath given off by the land dragon at the very end, a moment before the doors separated them, weighed heavily on Subaru’s heart.
Steeling himself, Subaru turned his eyes toward the interior of the mansion he hadn’t seen for three days. At the very least, the broad entry hall was quiet, with no sign that anyone was near him.
The words Ram had shared prior to his departure abruptly rose from the back of his mind—if Frederica did bear any ill will, she was no doubt already gone from the mansion.
If the worst case was that Frederica had gone off somewhere, he didn’t care. The problem was—
“Whether she left by herself…or took Petra and Rem with her.”
He wasn’t thrilled with either possibility, but he especially didn’t want to think about the latter. He had the handkerchief on his wrist and the crystal Garfiel had entrusted to him. Relying on the presence of those two things, he advanced, stepping farther into the mansion.
“—?”
His brows scrunched up at his sense of foreboding. Subaru was on the verge of calling out to the occupants in a loud voice.
Without the sight of the people who ought to have been there, the familiar mansion corridors felt like unknown territory. When Subaru walked into the hallway of the main wing and peered within, he was greeted by a strange sight.
As far as he could see, every single door in the corridor had been opened.
“…Doesn’t seem like someone did this to air the place out.”
From what Subaru could tell, only the doors had been thrown wide open; there was no sign anyone had touched the windows. All the rooms were impeccably tidy.
Though that served as proof of Frederica and Petra’s capabilities as servants, the empty tidiness clawed painfully at Subaru’s chest.
Something was wrong. Something felt off. Something was very…unnatural…
“”
A detestable feeling, a foul timidity crept around inside Subaru’s body. With a deep breath and a hand to his chest, he held it in check by force.
He’d already noticed that this was a bizarre emergency situation. After the many dangerous situations he’d found himself in, Subaru’s survival instincts were currently ringing loud and clear: there was some kind of issue there in the mansion.
If he’d followed his initial judgment call, Subaru would have immediately left the mansion and rendezvoused with Otto. The best plan was to tell his allies of the strange occurrence in the mansion so that they could devise a way to address it.
If the mansion hadn’t contained so many people he wanted to save within its walls, that’s exactly what he would’ve done.
“”
He understood it was reckless and irrational. Even so, he had to be sure.
Subaru didn’t know how long it would take to return here with allies. The more time passed, the greater the chance the girls inside the mansion would be spirited away. He couldn’t weigh them all on a scale. He just couldn’t.
“Who…to put first…?”
Gripping the handkerchief on his wrist, as if to make sure it was still there, Subaru’s brain tossed and turned enough to bring it to a boil.
The people in the mansion related to Subaru in some way numbered four, all girls. Among them, Frederica was the lowest priority. At the moment, it was unclear to Subaru where she stood. Besides, she probably possessed combat capabilities. If any of them could deal with problems as they arose, it was her.
As Subaru stepped forward with trembling, wavering knees, he realized if he had to go over them one by one and decide whom he had to check on first—then he could only think of Rem.
“”
He had any number of excuses he could cite.
Asleep and immobile, Rem was completely defenseless. With her existence forgotten, there was no way to be sure what value it held to a potential enemy, so he couldn’t simply leave her alone.
“In her own room…!”
She had to be asleep. There was no reason she would have moved. Rem ought to be sleeping in the same room that very moment.
With so many conditions piled together, wasn’t it natural he would check on her first?
Subaru repeated unnecessary excuses over and over inside his head as he headed to the east wing of the mansion—to where Rem’s bedroom was located.
His breathing in disarray as his lungs convulsed, he clutched his chest as his loudly beating heart protested in concern. He abused his knees with rapid, tottering steps as he carefully hurried to catch up with the anomaly.
“”
Along the way, every door in the main wing had been flung open. This continued into the east wing, remaining the same as he reached the floor that contained Rem’s bedroom.
Rem’s room was at the end of the corridor. The doors of every room before it remained open.
“Shit…Rem!!”
Clicking his own tongue as he climbed up the stairs, Subaru ran toward the back of the corridor.
The color of the evening sun thickly filled the corridor through the windows. Some kind of sweet aroma was mixed in with the serene air.
Breathing hard, Subaru’s own body was dyed orange as he quickened his ragged steps.
His heart beat louder and faster, sending painful throbs and a feeling he could not describe racing through his eyes. Horror poured in, intruding upon his brain and leaving him able to think of only one thing.
He had…to find out…if Rem…was safe—
“—Wh-whoa?!”
As Subaru’s thoughts raced, his feet suddenly tripped two rooms short of his destination. Subaru’s chest slammed into the corridor’s floor, leaving him gritting his teeth at his own folly.
Clenching the fist that had landed on the carpet, he tilted his head and came back to his senses. His feet had snagged on something—that’s what had tripped him. He’d been focused solely on the doors of the rooms he’d been passing when something slender at his feet had made him fall.
With everything dyed in the glossy light of the setting sun, it was difficult to tell what its original color had been. But the thing was slender and long, stretching out without interruption, and when Subaru’s eyes followed it to its end point he realized where it came from. It was no great mystery.
—It had simply tumbled out of the rent side of Subaru’s abdomen.
“—Huh?”
The right flank of his track suit had been cut clean. That was where the yellowy intestines had tumbled out.
A large amount of blood was pooling beneath him. He wasn’t sure if his right foot had stumbled over his small or large intestines, but at any rate, his innards had been expelled, seemingly clinging to their owner.
“…Oghu.”
The instant he confirmed this fact, his throat was blocked by a rising clump of blood, and the world was dyed crimson.
His trembling fingers tried to stuff back in the innards pouring out due to the pressure exerted by his belly, but he didn’t have the strength. Then his knees failed as well, and before he realized it, he had tumbled forward onto the carpet.
He didn’t know what had happened. Only that his belly had been fatally slashed—
“—I told you, didn’t I? I promised you, yes?”
Suddenly, there was a voice.
Straight ahead, from the direction that Subaru’s fallen head pointed, someone was talking to him.
He couldn’t lift up his face. His consciousness was draining away with his organs, mixing with the coursing blood and spreading thinly across the floor. Subaru desperately gurgled, as if trying to cling to a world that was growing more distant.
It’s over, his instincts proclaimed.
He understood that, but somewhere in his heart, Subaru rejected dying for nothing.
It wasn’t over, it couldn’t be over, not until he gained something, obtained something. If he didn’t return with something, anything, somethinganythingsomethinganythingsomethinganything—
“”
There was the high-pitched echo of shoes striking the floor. A shadowy figure stood in the corridor, dyed crimson from the spring of fresh blood.
She wore a black outfit on her slender physique. Her long, black hair was tied back in a triple braid. Adoringly, with a coquettish look, she gazed down at his dying moments.
When he sensed those things, along with the sensation of having his belly cut, Subaru understood.
—Why…are you here…in front of Rem’s room?
“—I told you to take care of your bowels until the next time we meet.”
It was a declaration of love that had gone astray, the pure affection of a murderer that no one else could understand.
As Subaru Natsuki’s consciousness grew hazy, that was the only thing that grazed the fingertips of his soul.
Hazy, hazy, hazy. Dark, dark, dark. And finally…
Everything vanished. It was the end. And then…they began anew.
The curtain of Subaru Natsuki’s fourth loop…had risen.
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Diamond. Diamond. Diamond.
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