Arifureta: From Commonplace to World’s Strongest Volume 10.
Extra Chapter: The Seven Most Important Things for an Otherworld Summoning.
“Hajime… Come down!”
I hear my mother’s voice calling me from downstairs. Looking at the clock, I realize it’s 6:15 PM. Time for dinner. But right now, I’m fighting the demon lord’s army, so I don’t have time for dinner.
“Well, if you’re in the middle of a fight, I suppose dinner can wait.”
As always, mom manages to figure out what I’m doing without me saying a thing. My mom, Sumire Nagumo, is a popular shoujo manga artist, and a bonafide otaku as well, which is why she understands these things better than most moms. I open my mouth to shout back that I’ll eat once I’m done preparing against the demon lord’s attacks, but—
“Just know that if you don’t eat dinner now, I’ll make your beef bowl without this super high-grade beef we got as a gift.”
“A beef bowl without beef is just rice!”
Mom got high-grade beef as a gift? This isn’t the time to be fighting the demon lord! I hurriedly drop my controller and get to my feet. Mom never makes empty threats.
“Hajime! Leave the dinner arrangements to me and focus on your battle!”
I can’t believe my dad, Shuu Hajime, wants my meat so badly that he’s trying to convince me not to come down for dinner. My back hurts, but I nevertheless hurtle down the stairs. Time is of the essence! I burst into the living room and dad clicks his tongue.
“Tch…”
He reluctantly puts the beef he took out of my bowl back where it belongs.
“Dad, you realize normal dads don’t try to steal their kid’s food, right?’”
I take my seat and glare at my dad.
“Well, I’m no normal dad. The Nagumo family doesn’t believe in lax parenting!”
“Stealing my beef has nothing to do with whether or not your parenting is lax!”
“I’m just teaching you that it’s survival of the fittest out there.”
I look over at Dad’s beef bowl. It’s time to hunt. If survival of the fittest is the law of the land, then he can’t complain if I make his beef mine.
“Alright, that’s enough, you two. Stop fooling around and eat. Fufufu, there’s nothing tastier than free meat.”
Mom brings the miso soup over, and dinner begins. The moment the three of us take our first bite, we fall silent. The beef’s so soft that it melts in your mouth. Like starving savages, we tear into our beef bowls.
Once dinner’s over, we all sigh in contentment. High-grade beef really is something else. While we’re basking in the afterglow, the evening news starts playing on TV. The beautiful newscaster’s voice fills my ears. Apparently, some high school boy who went missing a while back was found safe and sound. He hadn’t been kidnapped, just went hiking in the mountains without proper gear and got stranded.
I guess he just couldn’t control his urges… I take a sip of my tea.
“I see. So he was summoned to another world.”
Dad sips his tea as well. Nice one, Dad. You managed to come up with an even nerdier explanation than me.
Dad’s an even bigger otaku than me, and he’s the president of a video game company, so I guess it makes sense that he’s always thinking about stuff like this.
“But since he managed to make it back, he’ll be able to use all the superpowers he gained while in that fantasy world to live an easy life.”
“Can we please stop pretending he was actually isekaied? There’s no way that happened.”
His family was probably worried about him. If all he said after being found was, “Oh, I just went to another world for a bit!” his life’s already too fucked up to be easy. Dad sighs and shakes his head.
“Don’t be so sure, Hajime. Nothing in this world is certain.”
“He’s right, you know. The two of us often hoped we might have wild fantasy adventures when we were young.”
The isekai boom only started a few years ago. Meaning Mom and Dad were way ahead of the curve when they were young. I don’t know if I like this.
“Oh yeah! Let me show you something cool, Hajime!”
Dad dashes up the stairs. A bunch of strange noises start coming out of his room on the second floor. After thirty seconds of banging and crashing, he comes back down.
“Here. I bequeath this to you, Hajime.”
“What is this?”
Dad hands me an old notebook. It’s bound in leather and looks needlessly fancy.
“Oh my, now that’s nostalgic!” Mom says, her eyes sparkling.
Before I can open it Dad grins and says, “This is part three of my what-if series! It’s the isekai edition!”
“The heck does that mean!?”
Apparently, Mom and Dad had written down tips and guides in case various fantastical situations ever occurred to them. They’d called them the what-if series. The situations varied from a zombie apocalypse to an alien invasion, to what to do if your left arm started throbbing all of a sudden. Apparently, this notebook was about what to do if you were isekaied.
The really scary thing here was that Dad had put this twenty-year-old notebook somewhere he could access it within thirty seconds.
Even though I told my parents I didn’t need something this ridiculous, they kept insisting. Eventually, they managed to enter “The seven most important things” I’d need to know in case I was summoned to another world into my cell phone. They even locked the file so I couldn’t delete it. That just pissed me off, so I decided I’d never read them no matter what.
Then, around the time I was beginning to forget they were even on my phone—
Mom, Dad. I’m sorry, I was wrong. I never thought I’d be sitting in a palace in another world… I actually was summoned to another world, along with the rest of my class. Tomorrow, we’re going to delve into our first dungeon.
Unfortunately, I’m the most worthless member of our class. Not only are my stats really low, but my job is also a generic blacksmith one that plenty of people in this world have. All I can do is process and shape ore. No one in my class likes me either. Hiyama’s bullying is getting worse by the day, and now he’s got magic and souped-up stats to make my life hell. It’s like giving a toddler a gun.
But worse than that is the church that worships the god that brought us here, Ehit. I’m gonna be honest, the pope and his followers scare the shit out of me. The pope’s always smiling and acting polite and giving us everything we want, but he’s definitely scary.
I’m scared of the king and the other nobles too. They all seem to love the pope. This whole time, I’ve been haunted by that image of Ehit smiling that I saw in the cathedral we were summoned into.
Also, it’s the church that wants us to fight in their war. I’m scared of fighting, both against monsters and other people. On top of that, I’m pissed at Hiyama. So this whole isekai thing honestly isn’t all that great. I mean, there are a few really cool things, but I’m more worried than I am awed.
Granted, it’s not like I have my back against the wall or anything. And I’m still doing my best to do everything I can. But I’d really like it if there was at least one thing in my life right now that wasn’t out to get me. I’m just tired. I guess maybe that’s why I’m suddenly remembering that dinner when you gave me the seven most important things I needed to remember for an otherworld summoning.
I go back to my room and open up my closet. My uniform’s hanging up there. I reach into my pocket and pull out my cell, which is useless in this world. Since I turned it off right after we were summoned, I’ve still got a good amount of battery left.
I relax as the light of civilization hits my face. Then, I navigate through my folders until I find the file I’m looking for. I smile as I read the ridiculous title.
There’s a total of seven pages here. Each page contains a single tip, it looks like. I scroll down to read the first tip.
“If you get summoned alongside other people and someone in your group looks useless, make sure to befriend them! They’ve definitely got some hidden strength you just can’t see!”
“Dad, Mom, sorry, but I’m the useless one.”
Also, I definitely don’t have any hidden powers. This isn’t any help at all… Let’s see what the next tip says.
“Be careful! The princesses of the country you’re summoned to are often evil bitches! If you’re going to trust someone, trust the princess of another country!”
“I can’t believe how biased you guys are…”
Unlike the fanatical king and his nobles, Liliana’s a surprisingly nice princess. She’s already become good friends with Shirasaki-san and the others. And she’s even really nice to me. Probably because I’m useless… If even her kind smiles are actually hiding an evil interior, then I don’t think there’s anyone I can trust.
What’s next…
“Hurry up and seal your left arm!”
“Dad, Mom, my left arm isn’t throbbing and it doesn’t have an evil god in it.”
“If you hear a mysterious voice, make sure to listen to it! It’s probably a spirit or something! It’ll definitely be a helpful ally!”
I’m not hearing any voices! Next!
“Register at the adventurer’s guild!”
“Now you’re just writing down the stuff you want to do!”
God, my parents are so useless. Oh well, maybe the next one’ll be useful!
“Befriend the assassin in your party! They’re probably the strongest of the group!”
“The assassin, huh…? I guess we do have one.”
This is the first decent piece of advice they’ve given. I pocket my phone and go look for our class’ assassin. I end up looking for half a day.
“I can’t find Endou-kun!”
Why!? Why is it that no matter who I ask, no one has any idea where he is!? When I checked the dining hall and the training grounds, I found traces that he was there, so why can’t I actually find him!?
“Dad, Mom. You were right. Endou-kun’s the strongest one among us.”
He’s always been hard to spot, and even teachers occasionally forget to call his name during roll call, but he’s never been this hard to find. I’m pretty sure he’s not avoiding me… Also, I feel like I’ve been hearing someone whisper my name the whole time I’ve been searching. I think I’m just getting tired. I’ll look for Endou-kun later. He’s harder to find than Waldo.
I go back to my room, my shoulders drooping. Then, I flop onto my bed and take out my phone. I’m expecting the last piece of advice Mom and Dad have for me to be just as useless as the rest.
“If things look dicey, run! Your life takes priority! I know you normally take it easy, but you always act recklessly when things get dangerous, so make sure you take care of yourself! It doesn’t matter what kind of dirty things you have to do to survive, just come back alive! We’ll forgive anything you have to do, as long as you come back to us!”
My vision blurs, and my hand starts to shake. But I can’t start crying yet. There’s still one sentence left.
“Don’t give up! Make sure you come back to us no matter what!”
“What the hell… None of these are actually useful tips. How seriously do you guys take your delusions… Sheesh!”
I stare at the screen silently for a while. Drops of water drop onto the LCD screen, making it hard to read. But I don’t look away.
Time slows to a crawl. I have no idea how long I spend staring at my phone, but by the time I come back to my senses, my battery’s nearly dead. The sun’s set, too, and my room’s dark. The light from my phone is the only light in the room.
Normally, I find the mechanical light of an LCD screen to be cold, but right now it feels surprisingly warm and gentle. But then the battery dies and the light vanishes.
My cell phone won’t be turning on again. At least not until I get home. I wipe my tears with my sleeve and get to my feet. I open the closet and put my phone back into my uniform pocket.
I feel like I have something supporting me now. My heart no longer feels trapped in a haze of unease. The warm light of my LCD display has settled inside me, guiding me forward.
It was thanks to that light that I was able to ask Shirasaki-san to protect me the night before we entered the labyrinth, as embarrassing as it was. It was thanks to that light that I was able to tell her I’d be fine. To be honest, I thought she looked beautiful when she smiled at me in the moonlight.
If nothing else, I’m grateful to Mom and Dad for giving me the courage to reassure her. But at the same time, I’m sorry, Mom, Dad. I didn’t listen to what you told me. When I should have ran, I chose to stay and fight. In the end, I couldn’t prioritize my own life. I knew it was dumb to try and fight that giant Behemoth. When I was falling into the abyss, all I could think about was how sorry I was for failing you guys.
From there, I changed. Thinking back on it, it was probably those words from my parents that helped me endure all those hardships down in the abyss. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have been able to stand back up to challenge the Claw Bear.
“Don’t give up! Make sure you come back to us no matter what!”
Even when my heart and soul had been crushed, I still held on to those words. Which was why I—
“Hajime?”
I slowly opened my eyes and found Yue staring down at me.
“Sorry, I fell asleep.”
“Mmm… It was only for five minutes.”
Shaking the sleep out of my brain, I looked around. I was in the living room of the ice palace at the end of the Frost Caverns. Taniguchi and the others had just come back and everyone was resting.
I guess I fell asleep while everyone was talking…
“You made a lot of faces in your sleep… Are you okay?”
Yue clambered onto my knees and I looked into her eyes. She stared sleepily at me, her crimson eyes glowing faintly. I brushed her blonde hair back and stroked her cheek.
When I first met her, I thought she was as radiant as the moon, illuminating the darkness of the abyss. That was why I gave her the name Yue. A few other names, like Tsukuyo, Luna, and Selena had popped into my mind as well, but Yue was the one that seemed to fit best.
Just recently I’d learned what her original name was. Aletia. I couldn’t imagine what she must have felt when she threw that name away and asked me for a new one. But at the very least—
“Yue.”
“Mmm?”
The happy look she gave me whenever I called her by her new name reassured me that I’d made the right choice. I was confident I’d gifted her a new name that was much better than her old one. Names held power. They could be used as a curse to restrict people… or in my case, to bind two people together.
When Aletia became Yue, she was reborn. Despite carrying the deep trauma of betrayal, Yue had nevertheless trusted me. And when she’d smiled at me for the first time, she’d bound me to her. I stopped being a mindless monster and turned into the vampire princess Yue’s partner. It was thanks to her that I could be both the monster of the abyss and also human.
In truth, choosing to answer Yue’s pleas to save her was one of the biggest turning points in my life. Meeting Shea was another. But back then, it was Yue who’d convinced me to let Shea tag along.
Likewise, my meeting with Tio was the same. It was because of Yue’s words that I began to question my personal creed of killing everyone who opposed me and decided to spare Tio. All three of them followed me without complaint when I wanted to go save Myu and Kaori, too.
Like my fake had said, I might be using Yue as an emotional crutch. At the very least, she was the one person I knew I’d never be able to hold a candle to.
Smiling to myself I muttered, “Thank you.”
“Mmm? Mmm… Mmm…”
Yue cocked her head for a second, then smiled at me. That smile made it clear she’d understood everything I was trying to say.
“You should enroll in school once we get back to Japan, Yue. I want to see you in a school uniform.”
“Mmm… You got it.”
I’m looking forward to it. I wonder what Mom and Dad will say when I introduce Yue to them? They might be even happier about the fact that I brought Yue back than the fact that I came home. Nah, not might. They’ll definitely be happier about that. Those two otaku love cliched crap like vampire princesses and stuff.
“I’ll do my best to impress your parents…”
“Sounds good.”
“I need to ask them how many grandkids they want, too…”
“S-Sounds good…”
“And I need to apologize…”
“Huh? Apologize for what?”
“‘Mother, Father, please forgive me! I stole your son’s virginity before asking you whether or not you accept me as his bride!’”
“Yue-san, please don’t say that. I’m begging you.”
Crap. I’m gonna have to teach Yue about how Japanese customs are different from here before we go back. Especially since Mom and Dad would actually play along if she started saying stuff like that.
The last thing I wanted was to bring chaos to my house. I opened my mouth to explain to Yue how talking to my parents was going to work, but before I could say anything, she was lifted off my lap.
“Sheesh! I take my eyes off you for a second and you’re all over him again!”
Kaori was the one who’d lifted Yue up, and she threw the tiny vampire girl onto a separate sofa.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Yue said coldly as she launched herself at Kaori. Kaori responded in kind, and Shea was forced to jump in and mediate between the two of them again.
Tio and Yaegashi were so used to the sight that they barely even spared the three of them a glance. As I watched them, I thought back to my journey up till now.
The first thing that flashed through my mind was my first meeting with Shea. At first, I’d only helped the sobbing useless bunny girl because I’d wanted her to guide me through the sea of trees. But then that same girl who’d been terrified of fighting managed to beat up Miledi’s Golem. Honestly, I was impressed.
And then afterward, she jumped in without hesitation to save Sensei, even though she didn’t know anything about her. All because Sensei was someone I cared about. Then, when she fought against her sworn enemy, the Hoelscher Empire, she was so dazzlingly bright that even I was captivated by her.
If anything, she’s better at seduction than I am. She managed to capture Yue’s heart and mine… There was no doubt that it was this clairvoyant bunny girl with more pluck than any protagonist I’d ever read about that had brought color and joy to our lives.
“Shea.”
“Yeah? What is it? I’m kinda busy—”
“Thank you.”
Despite how much we rejected her in the beginning, she stubbornly stuck with us. She even managed to make me fall for her. Shea stopped trying to pin Kaori’s arms behind her back and looked blankly at me. Her surprise was so cute that I smiled.
“C-Come on! Surprise attacks like that aren’t fair!”
She started fidgeting, her tail swishing back and forth. Then, she covered her face with her bunny ears, embarrassed. It looked like she’d been able to figure out how deep my gratitude for her ran as well. Her embarrassed reaction really was cute though.
Unfortunately, I’d need to find some way to hide her ears when we went back to earth. Regardless of whether people thought they were real or fake, her ears combined with her looks would attract too much attention from other guys. Actually, considering Cam was converting all the rabbitmen in the forest into merciless assassins, Shea might actually be the last super cute bunny girl left.
I guess that’s my fault, huh?
“Shea… Uh, I’m sorry.”
“I think I can guess what you’re apologizing for, but in that case, shouldn’t you sound a bit more sincere?”
Shea slid her ears off her eyes and glared at me. I looked away, feeling too guilty to meet her gaze. That aside, I’d need to tell Mom and Dad all about Shea as well.
I should tell them about Altina too. Those two looove elves… If I recalled correctly, Dad was insisting that his dev team put elves into the most recent game he was working on. In fact, one of his employees had come to me to convince Dad to stop, since the game they were developing wasn’t set in a fantasy world.
Hmmm…
“Hey, Shea.”
“Yue-san, Kaori-san! I’m having a moment with Hajime-san here, so could you stop pulling on my— Oh, what is it, Hajime-san?”
“I’m thinking of kidnapping Altina and gifting her to my dad. What do you think?”
“I think you’ve lost your mind!”
Hey, that’s rude. Don’t look at me like I’ve actually gone insane. Oh no, now she’s asking Kaori to cast restoration magic on me. Aaand Kaori’s doing it.
“Let me explain. Dad’s a huge fan of elves. Especially seductive elves. Though, I guess Altina’s more of a masochist than a seductress. Still, I’m sure he’ll like her. If we put her in a cage and kept her as a pet, she’d probably be harmless, right?”
“Kaori-san! We need more restoration magic, now!”
Can you please stop casting that on me! The light’s blinding…
“Think about it. Dad’ll be happy. And Altina’ll be overjoyed to be your pet, Shea. It’s a win-win situation.”
“No, it’s a lose-lose situation!”
Shea smacked me on the head. I don’t get it. What’s the problem?
“Master, why settle for her? I would gladly be your—”
“I want to introduce you as one of my comrades, so rejected. I can’t treat you the same way I treat Altina.”
“O-Oh, I see…”
Tio fidgeted in embarrassment. Blushing, she muttered, “You’ve been acting so kind to me recently, Master. I’m not sure how to react…”
I guess telling Tio the truth is more effective at keeping her in check than treating her like dirt… I thought back to my first meeting with Tio. It all started with me trying to drive a stake into her ass. As a result, she turned into a huge pervert.
Wow, that’s really all there was to that meeting. There weren’t any emotional scenes or anything…
“Wh-What is it, Master? Please don’t stare so intently at me.”
If she knew all I was thinking was that we really don’t have any emotional memories together and that me trying to stick a stake into her ass is the most vivid memory I have of us, she’d probably be mad, huh? Actually, she’d probably get turned on…
I was worried that Tio’s clansmen would get mad at me when we went back to see her family. I hoped they wouldn’t blame me for turning their princess into a pervert. Oh yeah… I totally forgot Tio was royalty until just now.
“Hey, Tio.”
“Wh-What is it?”
“Do you want me to fight god for you?”
When I asked that, the room fell quiet. Yue and Kaori stopped fighting, and Shea and Yaegashi looked from Tio to me and back again. The blush vanished from Tio’s face and she gazed solemnly at me. Her draconic eyes, brimming with intelligence and endowed with the power to see the truth pierced through me.
After a brief pause, she smiled and said, “I appreciate that you care so much for me… Truly, I do.”
Tio brought a hand to her chest and closed her eyes. She looked so stunning that everyone’s breath caught in their throats.
“It’s true that my clan has dreamed of the day someone would appear to strike down god for us.”
“Yeah. The whole reason you left your village was because you wanted to see if that time had finally come, right?”
“Indeed. At present, you are the only one capable of fighting god, Master.”
“Thought so.”
“However…”
Tio spoke firmly, with conviction.
“Forcing people to fight when they do not wish to would go against the dragonman creed.”
“……”
“Master, I am glad that you are willing to ask me what my wishes are, despite your desire to return home being so strong that you were able to craft concept magic around it. But answer me truthfully. Do you wish to kill god for the sake of this world?”
“Nope, not really.”
I answered immediately. I had no interest in fighting for the sake of thousands of people I didn’t even know, or a world I didn’t care about. For better or worse, I’d always prioritize the people close to me.
However, if, after I returned home, there came a time where Tio had to return to Tortus and fight to protect her family…
“Then there would be no meaning in asking you to fight,” Tio said gently, with a smile.
“You have already made other promises you need to keep, have you not?”
“Yeah.”
I promised Yue I’d show her my hometown. I promised Myu that as well. Shea and the others all wanted to go to Japan as well. I’d promised everyone I’d take them there, and I intended to keep that promise.
“In that case, you must fulfill those first.”
Man, Tio’s way more mature than I am…
I glanced over at Amanogawa. He twitched, then looked away, pretending he didn’t notice me staring at him. He’d been going on about how he’d save everyone from god for a while now. I had no idea what was going to happen in the future, but I knew a guy like him would never give up. There was also the possibility that someone else with as much potential as Amanogawa showed up in Tortus and cleared all the labyrinths as well.
However… I thought back to our time in the Grand Gruen Volcano. When I’d been gravely injured by Fried or whoever, Tio had transformed without hesitation, even though it meant her existence would become known to the world. So if the time ever came that Tio had to go back and fight…
“Tio.”
“Yes?”
“We’re going home… to Japan.”
“I see.”
“I want to show you my hometown too. I want to introduce my parents to the dragonman who helped me so much in this world.”
“I-I see.”
“I want to go back to living a peaceful, normal life. But if the time ever comes that you need to go back to Tortus to fight…”
“Yes?”
Everyone gulped, looking worriedly from Tio to me. However, I had eyes only for Tio, and she likewise was looking only at me.
After a brief silence, I said resolutely, “Then I’ll make a new promise with you.”
“A new promise?”
“Yeah. As for what kind of promise… Well, we can decide that when the time comes.”
“Indeed, we can… Thank you, Master.”
Tio covered her face with her sleeves, while Yue and the others grinned at her. They crowded around her, trying to get a peek at her expression. Right now, Tio was nothing like the calm, Super Tio she became when things got serious, or the usual perverted dragon she normally was.
Hey, Sensei. I made the right choice, didn’t I?
When I’d first met Tio, Sensei had lectured me. She told me that if I abandoned anything and everything that wasn’t important to me, that I’d end up living a lonely life. That my choices wouldn’t bring happiness to me, or the people I cared about.
In the end, my priorities still hadn’t changed. I wasn’t capable of fighting for justice or equality or abstract ideals like that. But at the very least, I was willing to fight for the things that were important to the people I cared about. After all, it was only thanks to Tio and the others that I’d made it this far.
I watched with a smile as Yue, Shea, and Kaori tried to peel Tio’s hands away from her face. Then, I looked over to Yaegashi and the others, who were also watching the scene with a smile. Seeing how happy everyone was made me feel relaxed. My emotions must have been showing on my face, since when Yaegashi turned to me—
“Ah…”
She stiffened up. After a second of shocked silence, she suddenly blushed. Wondering what had gotten Shizuku so flustered, Kaori and the others turned to me as well. When they saw my face, they stiffened too.
“What?” I asked Yaegashi, feeling a little embarrassed.
“I-It’s nothing… Just… you looked surprisingly gentle for once, so…”
Confused, I touched my face. My expression didn’t feel any different. I turned questioningly to Yue, and she nodded in agreement.
What the hell? You guys are making me blush… I quickly tried to change the topic.
“Oh yeah, I’ve gotta do something about your body too, Kaori.”
“Huh!? Wh-What do you mean… ‘do something about my body?’”
Blushing, Kaori glanced over at a nearby wall. I was pretty sure there was a bedroom behind that wall. I opened my mouth to say something, but Yue beat me to it.
“You damn pervert… Hajime’s talking about what he’s going to do with that body you’re in right now after you go back to your original one!”
“Oh! O-Of course that’s… I-It’s not what you think, Hajime-kun! I wasn’t expecting anything at all! Besides, I’d like to have my first time with Shizuku-chan present, too! I’m not a pervert! Please believe me!”
Yaegashi glared at Kaori, as if to say, “Don’t include me in your delusions!” Meanwhile, I spotted Amanogawa trembling off in the corner. Sakagami and Taniguchi noticed he was acting off too, then exchanged a look. They both wanted the other to go and calm him down.
This is one lively party we have here. I remember way back then, when Kaori and Yaegashi were the idols of the class. I never thought both of them would end up falling for me. Especially Kaori…
I thought back to that conversation we’d had the night before I fell into the abyss. Kaori had sworn she’d protect me. And even after I’d fallen, she was the only one who believed I was still alive. After we were reunited, she constantly felt inferior to Yue and the others. So much so that she swapped bodies after dying once. Her devotion to me was so great I couldn’t help but be moved.
She was a clumsy girl, with a habit of getting so focused on her goals that she forgot to take stock of her surroundings, but she was kinder and stronger than anyone else. If I hadn’t fallen into the abyss, she likely would have been the ideal I looked up to.
“U-Umm, Hajime-kun?”
It seemed I’d ended up staring unconsciously at her. Blushing in embarrassment, Kaori averted her gaze.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about our lifespans.”
“O-Our lifespans?”
Kaori wasn’t the only one surprised by that response. Everyone looked confused.
I smiled ruefully at her and said, “Since I’ve eaten all this monster meat, I have no idea what’s happened to my lifespan now.”
I hadn’t really thought about it before, but it was pretty important. Kaori, Yaegashi, and Shea gulped, looking worried. Kaori looked especially worried, as if I’d just announced I was dying tomorrow or something.
I raised a hand to calm everyone down and added, “Considering I’ve been strengthened in every conceivable way, my lifespan’s probably a lot longer than a normal human’s too.”
“O-Oh, that’s what you meant.”
Kaori sighed in relief. I smiled at her and said, “Regardless, I have no intention of dying and leaving Yue alone. But Kaori, once you go back to your original body, you’ll have the same lifespan as a regular person, right?”
The same was true for Yaegashi and Shea as well. Both of them muttered, “Oh…” while Kaori said, “That’s… true. I…”
“Don’t look so worried. Miledi managed to attach her soul to a golem and live for thousands of years, so we know there are ways to stay alive for longer. Worst case scenario, we can do that to you guys. But chances are, we can find a way to lengthen all of your lifespans if we study the body of that apostle a bit more thoroughly.”
“……”
Kaori stared intently at me. I cocked my head, wondering if I’d said something strange. But a second later, she smiled just as gently as Tio had earlier and said, “Hajime-kun, you’re always thinking about the future, aren’t you?”
“Is that wrong?”
Kaori vehemently shook her head and her smile grew deeper. At the same time, Yue, Shea, Tio, and Yaegashi all smiled at me as well.
“It’s just, we’ve always been struggling to just make it out of the next crisis alive so… I’m happy. Especially since the future you’re thinking of includes me. Fufu, it feels like my heart’s floating!”
“I see…”
I didn’t know what else to say. When I saw Kaori and everyone else’s smiles, it felt as though any words I might have would be pointless anyway. Feeling the heat rise up my face, I awkwardly looked away again. The moment I did—
“Kaori… You should take that body of yours and float away with your heart. And then never come back.”
“Yue, how could you say that? Do you have no soul?”
I didn’t know whether it was to spare me everyone’s gazes, or just because Yue enjoyed teasing Kaori, but she started insulting her again. Naturally, Kaori’s smile went from happy to threatening, and she turned to Yue. As always, the two started scuffling.
Sighing, Shea went to break them up while Tio just watched and Yaegashi shook her head. Taniguchi joined in as well, deciding it’d be more fun to participate than to rest. As chaos descended upon the living room once more, I thought back to my parents’ words again.
“Don’t give up! Make sure you come back to us no matter what!”
The last of their seven tips had come in handier than they ever realized.
Don’t worry Mom, Dad. I’m coming home soon. Together with all the wonderful people I met in this world.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
Bonus Short Stories.
The Bunny Girl’s Strength Knows no Bounds.
Tio gave Hajime a look of longing, begging to be punished. Hajime and the others were lounging in the living room of Vandre Schnee’s palace, recuperating after their long ordeal. Tio was sitting on the floor beneath Hajime and giving him puppy dog eyes, her finger in her mouth. She had the look down perfect, and that pissed Hajime off. It seemed Tio was still hoping Hajime would punish her for revealing that she’d secretly wanted to use him to kill Ehit. But, of course, Hajime had known that from the start, so he had no intention of giving her what she wanted.
“Hajime… Hajime…”
A refreshing voice interrupted Hajime’s annoyed thoughts. He turned to Yue, who was sitting next to her, and asked, “Yeah?”
“Will you… punish me?”
“……”
Alright, I’ve gotta calm down. Just stay cool, take Yue to that bedroom over there, and…
“Hajime-kun, you better not do it.”
The moment Hajime saw Kaori’s stand appear behind her, he regained his composure and nodded. The masked demon looked even more vivid than before. Is she using evolution magic to make it real or something?
Shifting his attention away from Kaori, Hajime turned back to Yue and cocked his head.
“Ahem. Where’d that come from, Yue?”
It seemed almost as if he’d changed the topic because he’d been scared of looking into Kaori’s accusing eyes any longer.
“Mmm… Because I was thinking of entrusting you to Shea.”
It appeared Yue was asking to be punished because she’d let her fear for the future get the better of her. And since Tio was asking for punishment, Yue didn’t want to be left out. She gave Hajime a pleading look, similar to the one Tio had given him moments before. Then, she turned around and stuck her cute butt up in the air, as if asking Hajime to spank it, and licked her lips.
“Disintegrate!”
“Mmm!?”
A flash of silver light shot toward Yue. A second later, the sofa disintegrated. Yue only barely managed to roll away in time to avoid the blast. Cold sweat poured down her forehead and she rounded on the culprit.
“Kaoriii!”
Kaori turned to Yue with a smile that didn’t extend to her eyes.
“Yes?” she asked innocently, causing Yue to seethe with anger. Both of their expressions were bloodcurdling enough to make children cry.
“Calm down, Yue. As for your punishment… Didn’t Shea already punish you enough?”
“Mrrr…”
Reluctantly, Yue flopped down on another, undamaged sofa. Smiling wryly, Hajime turned to Shea.
“But I’ve gotta say… I’m impressed you managed to fight Yue to a standstill, Shea.”
Yue’s wounds regenerated instantly, she could cast advanced-level magic without incantations, and above all, she could use all kinds of ancient magic. Honestly, Hajime had been amazed to hear Shea had grown strong enough to go toe-to-toe with Yue.
Half-embarrassed, half-proud, Shea blushed, her bunny ears flopped back and forth. “Hehehe, I thought I was gonna die back there.”
“Would you mind giving us more details of your fight?”
The moment Tio asked that, everyone’s ears perked up.
Yue folded her arms and recounted in a slightly trembling voice. “Even when I tried to freeze her in ice, she just punched her way through my magic…”
“Wait, seriously? You were able to stop Miledi’s golem with that magic!”
Hajime was even more surprised now. But he, and everyone else listening, soon realized that was just the tip of the iceberg.
“When I tried to stop her with gravity magic, she just ignored the pressure with fighting spirit…”
“W-Well, she does specialize in body strengthening magic… But still, that’s amazing. Your gravity magic can even push me back, Yue…” Kaori replied in awe.
“She smacked my Draconic Thunder into oblivion…”
“W-Well, if she covered her warhammer in mana, that would theoretically be possible…” Tio mumbled.
“And she stopped my spatial magic attacks with just her body…”
At this point, Hajime and the others were beginning to wonder if she was still a beastman. However, Yue wasn’t done talking about Shea’s exploits yet.
Supposedly, every single one of Shea’s attacks had broken the sound barrier. Supposedly, all of her wounds had healed in seconds, even serious ones. Supposedly, even though she had little affinity for it, Shea had been able to use evolution magic on her body strengthening magic, making her so fast even Yue couldn’t follow her movements. Supposedly, she’d managed to make use of her innate rabbitman ability to manipulate her presence while doing all of that, making her even harder to track. And even when Yue did manage to hit Shea with a spell, she apparently just withstood it without taking damage. Supposedly, her battle cries alone had been loud enough to give Yue concussions.
The list went on and on. Yue’s eyes glazed over as she recalled all of the feats Shea had accomplished, and everyone turned to Shea in shock.
“Aww, you’re making me blush with all that praise, Yue.”
Shea really was blushing. In fact, she looked absolutely adorable, hiding her face behind her ears. But behind that cute exterior…
“Shea, can you stand over there for a second?” Hajime asked casually.
“Hm? Is this fine?”
Shea stood against the wall as requested. The moment she did, Hajime drew Donner at the speed of light and fired at her. Though he’d only fired a rubber bullet that wasn’t accelerated by his Lightning Field railgun, Yue and the others were still shocked to see that he’d shot at Shea.
“Whoa.”
Almost reflexively, Shea grabbed the bullet aimed at her shoulder. Yue and the others shivered. She’d actually just grabbed a bullet out of the air.
“Jeez, what was that for, Hajime-san!?”
Even when she was pouting, she looked cute. Thinking maybe the last bullet had been a fluke, Hajime fired one more just in case. There was a metallic clang as Shea blocked it with her fist, and everyone stared at her in shock.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
Yue’s Magic Lessons: Part 2.
While everyone was lounging around Vandre Schnee’s living room and recovering their strength, Suzu suddenly walked up to Yue.
“O-Onee-sama! Can you tutor me in magic!?”
Suzu clasped her hands together in front of her chest, looking almost like she was praying. Her eyes gleamed with expectation. Yue, who’d been attempting to seduce Hajime, turned around with a “Huh?” Embarrassed, she quickly straightened her back and pretended she hadn’t been about to pounce on Hajime.
“You want me to teach you magic?”
“Yep. I managed to get myself a familiar, but metamorphosis magic is still hard to control…”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Because you’re the best, Onee-sama!”
Suzu’s looked at Yue with something akin to hero worship in her eyes. Yue blinked a few times, then puffed her chest out proudly. She was enjoying the praise.
“Mmm… Well, I wouldn’t say I’m the best,” she muttered, but she was kicking her legs back and forth happily. However, her elation was short-lived. A second later, two of her friends came to rain on her parade.
“Suzu-san, I’m saying this for your own good. You shouldn’t ask Yue-san to teach you.”
“I concur. Suzu, you would be better off learning from me than Yue.”
“Shea!? Tio!?”
Shea and Tio each laid a hand on one of Suzu’s shoulders. Yue gave them a hurt look, while Suzu just turned around blankly.
“U-Umm, Sheashea? Tio-san? Why’re you saying that?”
“Because Yue-san is the worst teacher ever!”
“Furthermore, she is such a natural genius that you will only be discouraged!”
“Shea!? Tio!?” Once upon a time, Shea and Tio had attempted to learn magic from Yue. But in the end, Yue had been stumped, wondering why concepts that seemed exceedingly elementary to her eluded her pupils. The fact that she hadn’t been acting out of arrogance had actually crushed Shea and Tio’s spirits and made them feel stupid. Incidentally, this was how Yue had tried to teach Shea and Tio:
“So, you gather your mana with a bwaaah, then you go all pew pew! After that, you need to follow up with a fwoosh! Simple, right?”
It was little wonder that Shea and Tio had been stumped. Yue turned to Hajime with teary eyes. She pointed at Shea and said, “They’re being mean to me.”
“Taniguchi. I’d recommend learning from Tio too. She’s the best teacher among us.”
“Huh!?”
Yue slumped to the ground. She’d never expected Hajime, of all people, to betray her.
I see… Everyone will betray you eventually… That’s just how people are. You were right, copy… she thought to herself. She crawled over to a corner of the room and huddled there, hugging her knees. And as she sulked, she glared at Hajime, Shea, and Tio.
“I hate you guys…” she mumbled. Then, she buried her head in her knees. Suzu looked from her to Shea and the others, while Shizuku laughed dryly and Shea and Tio just shook their heads in exasperation. Hajime, on the other hand, looked pained, as did Ryutarou and Kouki for some reason. Kaori alone seemed happy by this turn of events. Grinning, she walked over to Yue, humming to herself as she did and looking absolutely ecstatic.
“Yue-sensei!” she exclaimed in a singsong voice. Shizuku looked up at the ceiling in exasperation while everyone else took a few steps back, expecting another fight to break out.
“Die, Kaori…”
“See, there’s your problem! It’s because you’re always so mean to people that you suck at teaching.”
On the surface, it seemed like Kaori was giving sound advice, but it was obvious from her expression that she was glad to have finally grasped one of Yue’s few weaknesses. It was only around Yue that Kaori was ever this belligerent. Still, Hajime missed the days where she was the gentle goddess of his high school.
“Hey, I have an idea! Why don’t you try teaching me? For example… how about you teach me how you changed your hair color with metamorphosis magic? What do you say?”
“Tch… You’re just going to laugh at me and call my explanations incomprehensible!”
The only thing Yue was willing to teach Kaori was the meaning of pain. She lunged at the healer, but Kaori was used to Yue’s violent outbursts, so she simply caught Yue’s fist and said, “Now now, stop playing around and teach me properly.”
Yue glared at Kaori for a few seconds, but then seemingly changed her mind and decided to play along with Kaori’s charade.
“First, you squeeze your mana like all bwaaah. Then, you start kneading it like paaa. And finally, all that’s left is to drop it out with a fwoosh!”
Shea and Tio turned to Suzu, as if to say “See, her explanations are incomprehensible.” Suzu’s expression stiffened and she gave them a nervous smile. Shizuku’s reaction was much the same. Neither of them had expected the perfect vampire princess to have such a glaring flaw. However—
“Umm, so I just go bwaaah, then paaa, then fwoosh… I did it!”
“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?”
Everyone’s eyes practically popped out of their skulls as they stared at Kaori. She’d actually succeeded in turning her silver hair black by following Yue’s incomprehensible explanation.
“See, you’re not bad at teaching at all, Yue. I got your explanation right away!”
“R-Really? You understood what I said?”
“Of course! You just go bwaaah, then paaa, then fwoosh! It’s a piece of cake!”
“Yeah… It is!”
Yue’s depressed expression transformed into a grin. She got to her feet and pointed at Shea and Tio, puffing her chest out so hard that it looked she was about to bend over backward all the while.
The two of them were still reeling from this revelation when Kaori added, “What’s gotten into you two? Why’re you being so mean to Yue?”
“W-We’re not trying to be mean, we just…”
“I-Indeed… How is it you can understand Yue’s explanation, anyway?”
Kaori cocked her head and replied in a confused voice, “I mean, her explanation’s just so simple, isn’t it?”
Tio clutched her chest and pitched to the ground while Shea’s eyes glazed over.
In the silence that followed, Suzu timidly said, “You really are good friends with Yue-oneesama, Kaorin.”
This time, Yue and Kaori didn’t deny it. They couldn’t. For once, they were in agreement. And so, Yue-sensei descended once more.
“Shea, Tio, Hajime. Shizuku, you too. On your feet!”
Yue’s damaged pride had recovered, and she was raring to teach once more. No one could stop her now. Hajime and the others exchanged glances, then wearily got to their feet.
“Alright, now repeat after me! Bwaaah, paaa, and fwoosh!”
Of course, no one repeated those words. After all, it would have been far too embarrassing to say meaningless sounds like that. However, Yue was a merciless teacher.
“I said repeat after me! It starts with bwaaah! Got it? Bwaaah! Now say it!”
“B-Bwaaah….”
“Bwaaah!”
Only Kaori seemed to be enjoying the impromptu lesson. Smiling, she raised her hands up in the air, making what was presumably a ‘bwaaah’ motion with them.
“I can’t hear the passion in your voice! Again! This time, say it with heart!”
Yue’s lesson continued for quite some time, making Hajime and the others all die inside.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
Arifureta Magic Academy: Daddy, a Transfer Student, and a Victim.
The ten-year-old prince of Heiligh, the kingdom that housed the infamous magic academy, had fallen in love. At least, that was what the rumors said. Supposedly, he’d come to the academy’s entrance ceremony as a guest and fallen in love with one of the students at first sight. Naturally, the students had started gossiping about who might be the potential future queen of Heiligh. The rumors only grew more pronounced when the school announced that Prince Lundel would be attending the academy from that day onward. He was the first member of the royal family who would be attending the academy. It was obvious to the students that he’d come here to chase his first love. And everyone wanted to see who he’d chosen. Ordinary student Hajime Nagumo absentmindedly listened to the students gossiping around him as he walked down the halls.
“I’ve finally found you, Hajime Nagumo!”
But he came to a stop when someone suddenly called out his name. Turning around, he saw the prince staring at him. He seemed to have a bone to pick with Hajime. The nearby students all stared at Lundel in surprise, then turned to look back accusingly at Hajime. They seemed to believe he’d done something to stir up trouble again. Of course, Hajime felt insulted that they believed all the previous commotions had been his fault.
“Good morning, Your Highness. Did you need something from me?”
A few of the watching students burst out laughing. Polite speech didn’t suit Hajime at all. Lundel was so focused on Hajime that he didn’t even notice the surrounding students’ reactions. He strode forward and declared, “I-I need to speak to you about your girlfriend!”
So the rumors were true!? The prince really did come here to chase after a girl!? the students thought. More and more people started gathering in the hallway.
And, at the same time, the students thought, Wait, what does the prince’s first love have to do with Hajime Nagumo?
Hajime himself was wondering the same thing. Girlfriend? I have a girlfriend? Hang on, does this mean the girl the prince is in love with has something to do with me?
His mind racing furiously, Hajime came to a horribly misguided conclusion. Hang on, is he talking about Myu!? No way!
Myu had been the new student representative during the entrance ceremony, and she was Hajime’s adopted daughter. Everyone had seen her call Hajime “daddy,” so they knew she was related to him in some way. It all makes sense now… He’s gotta be talking about Myu! So you’re trying to lay a hand on my daughter, huh, you royal punk?
Hajime was a textbook case of a doting parent. He met the prince’s resolute gaze with a withering glare. Lundel, as well as the nearby students, all flinched back.
“Someone deploy a barrier! I’ll get the underclassmen to safety!”
A weary upperclassman, used to dealing with the frequent incidents at school, started evacuating people from the area. Meanwhile, Lundel was lost in thought. H-He’s trying to cow me with that glare. He really doesn’t want to hand over his girlfriend—Kaori.
Indeed, the girl Lundel had fallen in love with was Kaori. He’d been swallowed whole by one of Yue’s lightning dragons during the entrance ceremony, and afterward, the priestess had come to heal his injuries. He’d fallen for the saintly looking healer at first sight. Of course, he had no idea that Kaori had been part of the reason that the brawl at the entrance ceremony had occurred in the first place, or that she, along with Shea, Yue, and Tio, was considered one of the school’s four problem children. Indeed, it was only because he didn’t know what lay underneath Kaori’s saintly exterior that he’d fallen in love with her. And thus, he’d come here to see what kind of man Kaori’s sweetheart was.
“I’ve… heard about you.”
He has? From who? Myu? Come to think of it, she is part of the elementary branch student council, and they were all there to greet the prince when he was first admitted to the school. She must have talked about me then. Well, if he’s after my daughter, there’s no need to be polite to him.
Hajime’s misunderstanding grew even deeper, and he growled, “Oh? And what’ve you heard, huh?”
His lips curled up into a fearless smile.
“I-I asked her to marry me, but she said she couldn’t because she was going to marry you.”
Myu wants to marry me? Oh wait, she’s probably just going through that phase all girls do where they say they want to marry their dad. Oh Myu, you’re so cute and…
“She said she’d win your love by any means, get you to knock her up, and start a happy family with you! And that she’d crush any rivals that stood in her way!”
“Wait, seriously!?”
Uhhh, Myu, are you that obsessed with me? Hang on, did you really use those words? I’m kinda shocked…
Cold sweat poured down Hajime’s back as he tried to process this new information. He needed to rethink how to interact with his daughter.
“Hajime Nagumo! Answer me this! Do you intend to reciprocate her feelings!?”
Lundel was determined to see this through, for the sake of his beloved Kaori. On the other hand, Hajime was panicking now that he’d learned of his daughter’s forbidden feelings. The spectating students had at this point heard the full story from the members of the newspaper club who’d come to see what was happening and knew that Kaori was Lundel’s crush. But none of them knew that Hajime had made a grave misunderstanding. They were waiting to see what Hajime’s response to Lundel’s sincere question was. They wanted to know if Yue was his only love, or if he meant to take Kaori for himself too. Naturally, Hajime answered Lundel truthfully.
“I have… zero interest in reciprocating her feelings!”
Oooooh, he really said it! While the students were whispering animatedly to each other, Lundel’s eyes began to glimmer with hope. However, that hope was short-lived.
“But I have no intention of giving her to you, either!”
“What?”
Lundel wasn’t the only one surprised by that. The onlookers were as well.
“Like hell I’ll hand her over to some rando like you!”
What do you mean, “rando”!? He’s a prince, for crying out loud! One of the most influential people in the kingdom! the students thought simultaneously.
“So even though you don’t plan on accepting her feelings, you’re still going to keep her tied to you!?”
“Hmph, she’s just that important to me. Besides, she’s still young. It’s too soon for her to be thinking of marriage. I won’t allow you to have her!”
How selfish can you get? Especially when you already have Yue-sensei!
But while the students were seething with jealousy, Lundel was thinking something else entirely. Y-Young? How is Kaori too young? What is he talking about? Does he mean she’s still immature?
He, too, was beginning to misunderstand.
“I-Incidentally, what do you mean when you say she’s young? She doesn’t look that way to me…”
The onlookers nodded in agreement. They turned to Hajime, waiting for his reply.
“I mean, just look at her. She obviously looks young.”
“Sh-She does? A-Are you sure? I guess her face is a little childish, but…”
Both Lundel and the other students didn’t really agree with Hajime’s assessment there.
Wondering how Myu could possibly look mature to anyone, Hajime added, “If you don’t think she looks young, I’ll prove to you that she acts young. For starters, look at how spoiled she acts.”
“R-Really!? Can you be more specific?”
The students were also very curious as to how Kaori acted spoiled.
“Hmm… Well, for starters, she’s always asking for hugs.”
“She is!? Unacceptabelievable! I want to princess carry her too!”
“Uhhh, did you not hear me? I said hugs, like, you know, normal hugs. From the front.”
From the front!? What kinds of naughty things are you doing with Hajime, Kaori!?
“And she can’t even sleep by herself still, so she always sneaks into my bed at night.”
“She can’t sleep by herself!?”
“Oh, and she’s scared to go to the bathroom alone at night, so I have to go with her.”
“She what!?”
“Also, she can’t even wash her own hair properly.”
“She can’t!?”
Wait, Kaori-san, aren’t you a bit too old to be doing those kinds of things? the students thought. Lundel, on the other hand, had latched onto a different part of Hajime’s words.
“Hang on! How come you know she can’t wash her own hair!?”
Oh yeah, good point! Don’t tell me you two take baths together…
“Huh? Isn’t that obvious? That’s cause we take baths together.”
“You… what?”
Lundel was so shocked that he dropped to all fours. Meanwhile, the students shivered in terror. The way Hajime had confessed that so casually had made it clear to them that he was too much of a Chad for any of them.
“Get it now? She’s too young to be thinking about marriage still. At best, I’ll allow you to be friends with her. If you try to ask her for anything more… I’ll crush your balls.”
The male students all covered their privates and took a few steps back. On the other hand, the girls were all amazed at how bold Kaori was. I can’t believe she takes baths with Nagumo-san…
After a few seconds, Lundel recovered from his shock and got to his feet.
“D-Don’t think you’ve won just yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!”
He turned on his heel and ran away, tears streaming from his eyes.
After a few seconds, Hajime said, “Heh, he’s got guts, at least.”
Surprisingly, he was smiling. In the end, the misunderstanding was never resolved. But, as a result, Hajime’s appraisal of Lundel had risen.
After school, a certain trio visited Kaori.
“Kaoriiiiii, how dare you sneak into Hajime’s bed! Pay for your sins with death!”
“Kaori-san, I can’t believe you take Hajime-san to the bathroom with you at night! How could you be so lewd!?”
“Kaori, is it true that you snuck into Master’s bath? If so, death is a fitting punishment for you.”
“Huh!? Wh-What are you talking about!? Calm down, you three!”
“Kaori, I… I will still accept you! Even if you can’t wash your own hair, I still love you—!”
“Your Highness!? What the heck are you talking about!?”
Naturally, that incident ended with a section of the school getting blown up. Sadly, the misunderstanding never got resolved, and for days after, people would shoot Kaori sympathetic looks when they saw her in school.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
Super Tio.
“What… did you say?”
A shocked voice rang out through the living room of Vandre Schnee’s hidden palace.
“A-Are you okay!? Do you feel sick!?”
“Did the fear get to you!? Should I cast healing magic on you!?”
Trembling, worried voices followed the shocked exclamation. The first voice had belonged to Hajime, while the second and third came from Shea and Kaori, respectively.
“Are you not being a tad too cruel!?” Tio hotly protested.
Yue gulped, everyone’s gazes were fixed on her.
“Yue! Why do even you seem so shocked!?” Tio gave Yue a hurt look. And with trembling hands, Hajime—
“And Master, why are your hands trembling!?”
Hajime massaged his temples, then turned to Suzu and Ryutarou.
“Taniguchi, Sakagami… You’re sure that’s what you saw?”
“Yep. I know it’s hard to believe, Nagumo-kun, but… it really was Super Tio-san!”
“Yeah. The really scary thing is she was even more amazing than that time in Haltina…”
“Impossible.”
“Master, I am nearing the end of my patience. If you keep this act up, I really will punch you in the face.”
Tio cracked her knuckles, something no one had seen her do before. But Suzu continued to ignore her and exclaimed, “That was, without a doubt, Super Tio-san: Royalty Edition!”
This was the reason for the tension in the room. While they were having tea, Suzu and Ryutarou had told everyone about the regal, dignified Tio they’d witnessed during her trial. The story had left Hajime and the others speechless.
“Dammit, how come I keep missing it!? God, this is all your fucking fault!”
Hajime cursed as if he’d missed a once in a lifetime opportunity. He really wanted to see Super Tio, and this was the second time he’d missed his chance. He hung his head in despair, and Tio gave him a glare that was even more disparaging than Yue’s.
“I do not understand. I have always been this way. Even when we were in Haltina, I simply did what needed to be done. Why are you all acting as though this is some hidden side of my personality that never otherwise appears?”
Tio had a point, but it seemed she wasn’t aware of how ridiculous her normal actions seemed. Ignoring her question, Yue smiled reassuringly at Hajime and placed her hands over his.
“Now that I’ve obtained all the ancient magic, there’s nothing I can’t do…”
“Huh!? Can you really do it, Yue!?”
“Yep! Just leave it to me!”
Yue turned to Tio. Her obsession with Hajime was so great that she’d do whatever it took to grant his wish.
Sensing that her life was in danger, Tio quickly got up and muttered, “I-I have somewhere I need to be…”
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Unfortunately, Yue circled around to cut her off.
“S-Stop—”
“I’ll make you show your true colors with spirit magic! Become normal!”
Tio screamed as a flash of white light filled the room. A moment later—
“Fufu, what a troublesome child you are.”
“Mmm!?”
When the light faded, Hajime and the others saw Tio carrying Yue in her arms. She looked admonishingly down at Yue, like a mother scolding her naughty child. Hajime swallowed his surprise and attempted to rile Tio up to see what would happen.
“Hey, pervert.”
“Master, why the acerbic words? Have I done something to displease you?”
Instead of panting happily, she actually looked hurt. Hajime was so shocked he slid out of his sofa. Then, he glanced over at Shea and the others, who all nodded to him.
“It’s Super Tio-san!”
“My, you are all so energetic today.”
Tio smiled gently at everyone. This was, without a doubt, Super Tio.
“T-Tio? Can you put me down now?” Yue looked a little embarrassed as she asked.
“But Yue, even if you did this for Master’s sake, you still need to reflect on your actions.”
“Huh?”
“Do not ‘Huh’ me. You are the oldest person here, after me. If you do not act responsibly, what kind of example will that set for the others?”
“U-Umm… I’m sorry?”
Yue hadn’t expected to get lectured by Tio, of all people. Furthermore, Tio had a good point. There was nothing Yue could say to argue back, especially with how mature Tio looked. Seeing how easily Tio cowed Yue, everyone present realized that Super Tio was even more impressive than they’d imagined.
Suzu’s pupils turned into hearts and she whispered “Onee-sama…” in a husky voice. Even Kaori and Shizuku were enamored by this new, improved Tio.
Yue, who was still in Tio’s arms, glanced up at her and muttered, “S-So this is… a real dragonman… Amazing.”
Kouki was entranced by this new Tio as well. Ryutarou, however, was sitting in a meditative pose, repeating, “Don’t let her fool you! This is all a ruse!” to himself.
“Haaah, I forgot that this is what Tio-san is like when she gets serious. If only she’d act like this all the time, we… Wait, Hajime-san? What’s wrong?”
Shea had already seen Super Tio once before, and thus was less shocked. She turned to Hajime, but was surprised to see an expressionless look on his face. No, upon closer inspection, she realized he seemed almost frustrated. A second later, he got to his feet and pushed Suzu and Kaori, who were crowding around Tio, aside.
“Hey, Tio.”
“Yes, Master?”
Tio smiled gently at Hajime. However, he gripped both of her shoulders and shouted, “That’s not the reaction I want! This is all wrong! Tio!”
“Wh-What is it, Master? Please, calm down and—”
Though she was shaken, Tio quickly regained her composure and tried to calmly deal with Hajime. But he interrupted her with an anguished shout.
“You have to remember who you truly are!”
Even though it was his own fault Tio had become like this, Hajime couldn’t bear to witness Super Tio.
“You’re a pervert! A completely hopeless pervert!”
“E-Even if you are my master, I cannot allow you to—”
Hajime pressed down hard enough on Tio’s shoulders that they started to hurt. Tio, in turn, scrunched her face up in pain, but Hajime ignored her.
“You’re the only person in the whole world, no, the whole universe, who’d be happy to receive a pile driver in the ass!”
“Th-That was an unfortunate moment of indiscretion…”
“Wake up, Tio! You’re the kind of creepy pervert who’ll slide out of the bars of your cage and get your ass stuck and strip at inopportune moments! That’s who you really are!”
Yue and the others were speechless. They couldn’t believe Hajime was actually saying all of this to Tio when she was being serious for once. But, at the same time, he looked so desperate that they couldn’t bring themselves to interrupt him. They just looked back and forth between Hajime and Tio in confusion.
“You’re a worthless, perverted dragon who finds pleasure in even the most heinous of punishments!”
“…Heh.”
Huh? Is it just me… or does Tio-san suddenly look different… Shea though.
“You’re the beloved princess of the Klarus clan, aren’t you!?”
“Haaah… Haaah…”
“A Tio who’s just mature and understanding is like a hamburger without the patty! Or like flat soda! Or curry rice without the rice! You’re not Tio without the perverted parts of you!”
Tio looked up at Hajime, a look of ecstasy on her face as she waited for him to deliver the final blow.
“Return to your senses! I want the one and only super masochistic, perverted, Tio!”
“Aaaaaah! Please, insult me more, Master! Punish this perverted dragon!”
The old Tio had come back. Smiling, Hajime said, “Welcome back, Tio.”
Drooling, Tio smiled lovingly.
“I have returned, Master. And you have cleared yet another one of my trials. I love you.”
“I don’t love you, though.”
“Oh, Master…”
Tio and Hajime both chuckled. Everyone else watched on, thinking, You better take responsibility for this, Hajime.
However, at the same time, they hated how they felt a little relieved at the return of normal Tio.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
Arifureta Fairy Tales: Aladdin.
Long ago, there lived a poor boy named Aladdin. His parents had wasted all their money buying anime merchandise and had fallen into poverty. But Aladdin himself was an otaku, so he couldn’t really complain.
However, one day, a magician claiming to be a distant relative of his appeared before Aladdin. The magician was covered from head to toe in a long robe, even their face was hidden under a large hood. Though they claimed to be a relative, they seemed quite suspicious to Aladdin. In fact, he had never seen anyone more suspicious in his life. He was certain the magician was a swindler of some sort. And thinking back, he remembered there had been plenty of scammers recently who’d been going around telling people about how there were amazing jobs where they could make thousands of dollars a day doing relatively little work, when in truth they were running around looking for people to kidnap and bring back to brothels and the like.
Believing the magician to be one such scammer, Aladdin drew the pistol he carried for self-defense and pointed it at the magician. Surprised, the magician jumped back and lowered their hood. They looked Aladdin over more carefully, then said in a surprised voice, “Sorry… I lied. I’m not related to you. I’m your wife.”
The magician’s statement just made her seem even more suspicious. Naturally, Aladdin replied, “I see. That makes sense. When are we holding the wedding?”
It appeared he’d taken the magician’s words at face value. Unfortunately, her beauty had captivated him, preventing him from thinking straight. It was her fault for being so damn pretty. Even if this was some kind of marriage fraud, Aladdin would happily let this beautiful magician defraud him.
“This afternoon…”
The magician’s eyes sparkled. She wasn’t even thinking of defrauding Aladdin anymore. Initially, she’d approached him with the intent to scam him, but now all she cared about was becoming his bride. And thus, the pair were married just hours after their first meeting. But before they could hold their wedding ceremony, the magician asked one request of Aladdin.
“Before we get married… can you help me get a magic lamp from a cave?”
“What kind of magic lamp?”
“Mmm… Supposedly, a genie who can grant any wish lives within the lamp. If we have that…”
“If we have that, then what?”
“We’ll… be able to hold the greatest wedding ever.”
“Magician girl… are you a genius!?”
There was no one around to stop them. Aladdin and the magician headed to the cave for their first date, flirting all the while. They entered the cave together, and explored its depths, while talking about what other wishes they’d ask the genie for once they’d finished their wedding. They were tired of the desert, so they were thinking of asking the genie to build them a nice, white house on the coast. A house with a king-sized bed, of course. They neither tumbled into the abyss, nor had to worry about any seals, nor fight any dangerous guardians of the cave to reach the lamp. In fact, they found it quite easily. Believing they’d already succeeded, they grabbed the lamp and turned to leave. Unfortunately for them, trials often appear when one least expects them.
“Wait right there, Aladdin-kun! Don’t let that witch trick you!”
The princess of the country suddenly appeared at the entrance of the cave with a retinue of soldiers.
“How dare you trick Aladdin-kun into following you into this cave, you witch! What kind of obscene things were you planning to… I mean, what kind of naughty… I mean, what kind of horrible things were you planning to do to him!?”
“I’m worried about this country with you in charge!”
The magician glared at the princess, wondering how this country managed to run when its leaders were like this. She was, of course, unaware of the irony that she’d been acting basically the same way moments ago.
“Now come, Aladdin-kun! Marry me instead!”
Smiling, the princess proposed to Aladdin. The soldiers standing behind her all gave her disappointed looks. It was obvious they were worried for the future of this country as well.
Upon hearing the princess’ proposal, Aladdin said, “Uhhh, who the heck are you?”
He eyed the princess suspiciously. In truth, the princess had had her eye on Aladdin for quite some time now. One could even say she’d been stalking him. However, they’d never actually met before. But when the princess had seen a witch suddenly appear before him, she’d rushed out without considering how strange it was for her to chase after a man she’d never actually talked to. It was little wonder that the soldiers seemed so disappointed.
“Hmph, you seem to be misunderstanding something, Princess. Aladdin’s already my husband. Now, get out of here.”
The witch clung to Aladdin and grinned at the princess. Aladdin hugged the witch back, and the princess’ soldiers started urging her to return to the palace. However, the word retreat didn’t exist in this love-struck princess’ dictionary.
“Fine, now that it’s come to this, there’s no turning back! Come, genie of the ring!”
The princess rubbed the ring on her hand and chanted an incantation. A second later, a person appeared in midair.
“What is it, Princess? I have told you time and time again that I shall not recognize you as my master. You lack the sadistic temperament for it.”
Apparently the princess’ ring was a magical object that summoned a perverted, wish-granting genie.
“Pervert of the ring! Seal that witch in this cave! Then teleport me and Aladdin-kun to the castle!”
“As I said before, I have no intention of listening to… Oho!? Do mine eyes deceive me!? That young man over there seems to have the makings of a wonderful sadist! His sadist power levels are… over 9000!?”
It appeared the pervert of the ring had the special ability to measure the sadism levels of others. The moment she spotted Aladdin, her indifference toward the current proceedings vanished. By the time the witch realized this pervert was a threat, it was already too late.
“I have finally found the master I am fated to serve!”
“Pervert of the ring, please!”
“As you wish! Take this!”
The pervert of the ring snapped her fingers, and the princess, her soldiers, herself, and Aladdin all vanished in a puff of smoke. She’d teleported them all back to the princess’ castle. At the same time, there was a deep rumbling, and the entrance of the cave collapsed, trapping the witch inside.
“C-Curse you, Princess…”
The witch angrily stamped her feet. She had to get her beloved Aladdin back somehow.
You’ll pay for this, Princess… But before she could slaughter the princess or recover Aladdin, she needed to first get out of the cave.
“Hmph, you underestimated me.”
Once her anger receded somewhat, the witch suddenly remembered she still had the lamp. She pulled it out of her pocket and stared at it. No doubt the princess was too busy fawning over Aladdin to even consider the possibility that there might have been a second genie summoning item.
“Wait for me, Aladdin. I’ll save you! Come, genie of the lamp!”
The witch rubbed the lamp, and a pair of bunny ears popped out of it in a puff of smoke.
“The bunny of the lamp has arrived! You rang?”
The bunny girl fully emerged from the lamp, her voluptuous breasts bouncing up and down. Looking at them annoyed the witch, but she pushed her feelings aside and cleared her throat.
“Get me out of this cave.”
“As you wish! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
The genie fulfilled the witch’s wish through surprisingly physical means. She made a fist and punched through the rubble in one blow.
“Umm, next, can you take me to the castle?”
The witch asked hesitantly, worried her wish would be granted in a less-than-gentle manner.
“Your wish is my command! Come, get on my back! Hurry up now!”
“Uhhh, okay…”
The witch’s hopes that the bunny girl would teleport them like the pervert of the ring had were horribly dashed.
“Off we go! Dash like the wind!”
As the bunny girl promised, she did indeed dash like the wind. She brought the witch to the castle within seconds, and punched the hell out of any guards standing in her way. Then, she kicked open the castle gates and brought the witch to the princess’ room. Wordlessly, the bunny girl challenged the princess’ genie to a duel. After all, that was the only way to settle this feud.
And so, the bunny of the lamp and the pervert of the ring squared off, while the princess and the witch stared each other down. The battle began, and it was so ferocious that an entire section of the castle was destroyed in the ensuing turmoil. The soldiers guarding the castle began considering a career change, while the citizens in the city fled the palace’s vicinity.
“Aladdin-kun, if you marry me, you’ll be able to use the special magic of the royal family: authority! You’ll be able to grant all of your wishes, so marry me!”
“Mmm… what a vulgar approach. Don’t worry, Aladdin, I’ll grant any wish of yours myself.” The witch countered.
“Master, I’ll grant any of your wishes as well, so please make me your pet!”
“Aladdin-san! Don’t you want a bunny girl wife!? I’ll use force to grant any wish you have!”
All four girls professed their desire to grant all of Aladdin’s wishes. And, as he watched the castle get demolished around him, he voiced the only wish he had.
“I wanna go home…” he mumbled with glazed over eyes.
Some time later, rumors spread throughout the kingdom that a certain remote region of the desert was constantly being blown apart by four women who were fighting over a very fortunate, or perhaps very unfortunate boy. But despite their constant bickering, it appeared they were all good friends.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
Vandre-san’s Secret Room.
“Nagumooooooooo! Can you come over here for a sec?” Ryutarou’s voice echoed through Vandre’s palace. Hajime, who’d been reclining in the living room, turned around.
“What is it?”
Ryutarou, who still had boundless amounts of energy, had been exploring the palace along with Kouki and Suzu. It had been ten minutes since he’d set off, and judging by his panicked voice, it seemed like he’d gotten himself into some kind of mess. Hajime exchanged glances with Yue and the others, and they all gave him rueful smiles.
“Nagumo-kuuuuuuuuun!”
Suzu started calling for Hajime as well, but her voice seemed more full of curiosity than panicked.
“Good grief. Ryutarou and Suzu both have far too much energy,” Shizuku muttered to herself.
See, this is why everyone calls you their mom…
“Nagumo-kun?”
Shizuku smiled darkly at Hajime. It was as if she could read his thoughts.
“Seems they found something. Let’s go see what it is.”
It looked like Shizuku was about to awaken to her own stand, and that was the last thing Hajime wanted to have to deal with. And so, he quickly changed the subject and got to his feet. They found Ryutarou and the others standing around inside a small room in a corner of the first floor.
When Ryutarou spotted Hajime, he excitedly pointed to a spot on the wall and said, “Look! Look!”
He was pointing to a small passage that contained a staircase leading downward.
“The hell’s this?”
“So I was looking through this room, and when I crouched down to examine something, I accidentally smacked my head against this part of the wall.”
“Oh, and then it caved in to reveal this?”
Ryutarou scratched his head awkwardly and nodded. Apparently, he’d managed to hit a hidden switch with his head entirely by accident. And that switch had revealed this underground passage.
“A hidden room inside one of the Liberators’ houses… That does seem pretty interesting.”
“I know, right!?”
Ryutarou looked like an excited puppy. Suzu seemed just as eager to explore the hidden depths of Vandre’s palace. Kouki, on the other hand, looked like he was trying to restrain himself, but even he seemed curious. Yue and the others were interested in this hidden passage as well, so there seemed little reason not to explore.
“Maybe he hid some artifacts here like Oscar did with his Treasure Trove. We might as well swipe whatever we… I mean, make use of whatever’s available.”
“Mmm… There’s no point in trying to sound like we’re not stealing, Hajime.”
Shea and the others nodded in agreement with Yue’s assessment. Hajime ignored them and stepped into the passage. After they got going down the staircase, they found something in the landing below. There was a display case stuck inside the ice wall at the end of the passage, and sitting inside that display case was—
“Why glasses!?”
A pair of glasses. They were black-rimmed, and placed very delicately in the display case, as if they were extremely important. As Hajime approached, the bottom of the display case lit up, causing the lenses to glimmer with reflected light. The whole scene was obviously scripted, and it kind of annoyed Hajime that Vandre was trying to make it look like these glasses had been waiting for a worthy bearer for thousands of years.
“Oh, Hajime-san! Look, there’s an inscription on the ice!”
“Oh? Let’s see what it says… ‘Here sleeps my best friend.’”
“I-Is it just me, or is he making it sound like the glasses themselves are his friend?” Shizuku said as her expression stiffened, and everyone else nodded in agreement.
However, Hajime muttered, “No, that’s not it. These… These glasses are Oscar Orcus.”
“Hajime-kun, I think you might still be exhausted from making the key. Here, I’ll cast restoration magic on you.”
Everyone shot worried looks at Hajime as silver light rained down on him.
“Hang on, guys. You’re misunderstanding me. Oscar wrote about this in his journal. He said all his friends thought he loved his glasses so much that his soul secretly resided inside them.”
“Oh? So the Liberators were pranksters?”
Suzu’s guess was right on the money, though she had no way of knowing it. Even so, she could just imagine Vandre saying something like, “Since you’re actually just your glasses, I’ll leave you here to show you off to future generations!”
The party continued onward, following the passage as it turned. Once they rounded the corner, they found something new.
“I-It’s so cool!” the three guys all said simultaneously. It was rare for them to be in sync like that, but it made sense, considering what they were staring at. A blue, rose patterned sword made of ice. The inscription on the plinth the sword was thrust into read, “Blue Rose Frost Blade.” As the name suggested, the sword was made entirely out of ice. Furthermore, everything from the hilt to the blade had rose-patterned carvings engraved into it. It looked like a legendary sword waiting to be drawn by some chosen hero. Any man would have been excited to see something like this.
“N-Nagumo! Can I try pulling it out!?”
“What, but… No, you’re the one who found this place, Sakagami… Fine, you try first.”
“I wanna try pulling it out too, Ryutarou…”
“You already have a special sword, Kouki! You can’t cheat on it!”
“Don’t phrase it like that! Wait, hang on! My Holy Sword’s flickering!”
“See, Amanogawa? It’s telling you not to cheat.”
“You’re the last person I want to hear that from, Nagumo!”
The girls watched the boys fawn over the sword with exasperated looks. As far as they could tell, it was just a sword made out of ice. Sure, it was pretty, but Hajime’s missiles were way more powerful than it. Naturally, they didn’t understand the excitement boys felt upon seeing cool-looking anime swords.
“Hurry up and pull it out already, Ryutarou,” Tio urged.
“O-Okay, Tio-san.”
Ryutarou was surprised to hear Tio sound so exasperated. She was normally extremely accommodating. He quickly grabbed the hilt, and Hajime and Kouki gulped. Yue and the others watched with bemused smiles.
“Here I goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
Ryutarou’s muscles bulged, but the legendary ice sword didn’t even budge.
“I’m next!” Hajime shouted.
“Hang on, you’re a gunner, Nagumo! I’m the swordsman, so I should go next!”
“Yeah, but you’ve already got a legendary sword! You can’t cheat on it!”
“Stop calling it cheating! You don’t have the right to talk about cheating, anyway!”
The two boys grappled for a few seconds, but then Suzu noticed something and walked over to the plinth.
“Oh, there’s more written over here. Let’s see… Only those who wish to eliminate glasses from this world can draw this sword. If you are found worthy, it is your sacred duty to destroy all glasses!”
Just how much did you hate Oscar, Vandre!? everyone thought simultaneously.
“B-But didn’t he put those glasses up on display earlier? He must have gotten those from Oscar-san, right? Surely they were friends, right?” Kaori asked, desperately looking about for a reason to believe that the Liberators had all been close.
Seeing her distress, Hajime muttered, “Come to think of it, Oscar mentioned in his diary that Vandre was half-demon, half-dragoman.”
“Oho? Is that so? Judging by all the ice around here, he must have been an ice dragon, no?”
“Yeah. And there was a sword similar to this one in Oscar’s workshop.”
“Hang on a second, Nagumo-kun. I have a bad feeling about where you’re going with this.”
“You guessed it. The sword was called Dragon Slayer.”
Those two must have fought like cats and dogs… Yue and the others thought to themselves.
“Hmm, but you know, when all’s said and done, it looks like they cared a lot about each other. I mean, they left behind these mementos of each other, didn’t they?”
Smiling wryly after saying that, Shea turned to Kaori and Yue. Everyone else’s gazes shifted over to them as well, and they all smiled knowingly at the two girls.
“I-It’s not the same situation! I really do hate Kaori!”
“I-It’s not the same situation! I really do hate Yue!”
The two of them responded in perfect sync. Then, they glared at each other, mad that the other had stolen their line. In retrospect, it was entirely possible Oscar and Vandre had shared an identical relationship…
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
