Arifureta: From Commonplace to World’s Strongest Volume 6.
EXTRA CHAPTER: THE SECRET SOCIETY, “SOUL SISTERS.”.
This is a record of our beloved Onee-sama, Shizuku Yaegashi’s, daily activities.
I understand how insolent it is for someone like me, a lowly royal guard attached to the princess, to even write about our beloved Onee- sama. But I wish to leave behind an accurate record so that historians a hundred or a thousand years later do not misconstrue the kind of person she was.
First, I suppose I must address the question of who Onee-sama is. She is a heroic figure, one bound to be spoken of for generations to come. It is inevitable that historians and schoolchildren alike will learn of her great deeds. And it is for this reason that I must leave behind a detailed record of her true nature. For as I mentioned before, historians often distort the truth to fit their preconceptions.
Onee-sama hails from another world. In her previous home, she was known as one of the greatest swordsmen alive.
No one her age could hold a candle to her, and no challenger had been able to defeat her. She was, at the very least, the greatest swordsman in her country.
God himself was impressed by her skills, and summoned her here to bring this world salvation.
I must say, you picked wisely, God. There were a number of others who were summoned with her, along with some obnoxious boy who calls himself the fated hero, but they are not important to the telling of this tale, so their stories have been omitted.
Let me be the first to say, Onee-sama is wise, beautiful, and chivalrous beyond measure. Not only is she a master swordsman, she’s skilled in the academic fields as well. Proficient in both the pen and sword, as they say. Despite her apparent superiority, she isn’t arrogant in the slightest. She is a true goddess who greets everyone with a smile, regardless of their station.
Excuse me, don’t you think you’re being a little too rude toward the other heroes?
Very well. Allow me to leave behind my wondrous meeting with Onee-sama, and how I came to refer to her as such inside my heart.
It was not long after she had been summoned to this world. Onee- sama, along with the other heroes (They were technically summoned by him, so I suppose I must refer to them with reverence) were training outside the city walls.
The female knights had been put in charge of training the female heroes. However, there were not enough to go around, and I had been temporarily pulled from the royal guard to assist in the heroes’ training.
I must say, you picked wisely, Captain Meld. As the heroes hadn’t had to fight in their old world, they had trouble even with captured, weakened monsters. Occasionally, a few them would even take so long that they were attacked.
Naturally, it was my job to dispose of them if they became a threat to the heroes. However, one time when I was killing a monster that had gotten too close to a hero, she panicked and fired off a spell. I was able to avoid it in time, but just barely. As a result, I twisted my ankle.
I was embarrassed I had let myself get injured, and I did not wish to worry the heroes, so I pretended nothing was wrong. Around the time training was over, my ankle was smarting quite fiercely.
I slipped away from the others and headed toward the infirmary. However, I was unable to walk properly at this point, and the going was rough. Just as I was beginning to wish a horrific curse that made them sweat profusely from their armpits on the hero who had caused my injury, I felt my body suddenly grow light.
Wondering what happened? Brimming with curiosity? Very well, let me tell you.
Onee-sama had appeared, and was carrying me princess-style to the infirmary!
“You hurt your leg back there, didn’t you? I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Those gentle words enveloped my trembling body, leaving me in a daze.
Before I knew it, she had carried me all the way to the infirmary.
“I understand it might be difficult for you, but you don’t have to be that formal with us. After all, we’re the most inexperienced ones here. So please guide us, Sensei.” Onee-sama had said that with a dazzling smile. Though I was just a lowly knight, she had thought about my position and gave me the most comforting words she could.
I could feel my heart beat faster, and I suddenly grew embarrassed. I told Onee-sama I could walk now, and asked her to let me down. Not only had I caused our divine Onee-sama trouble, I was still wearing my armor! I must have been so heavy! If Onee-sama had actually said as much to me, I would have hung myself then and there! And yet, all Onee-sama gave were comforting words.
“I can’t do that. It’s my fault you ended up like this, so at least let me carry you. Besides, even in your armor, you’re as light as a feather.” Onee-sama gave me a playful smile and lifted me up and down to prove how light I was. It was then that I wrapped my arms around her. She chuckled, and hugged me back.
It was at this point that I was smitten with her.
“Onee-sama…” When I called her that, Onee-sama had smiled gently at me. It seemed to me that her smile was a little forced, but I suspect that was just my imagination.
“Umm, I’m younger than you, you know that right?” Her voice seemed a little strained, but I ignored that. After all, I wanted so badly to be her younger sister. If not in truth, then at least in spirit. I could be her soul sister at least! It was in that moment that my entire world went pink.
I respect and adore my wonderful Onee-sama, but if I had to mention one thing that bothered me about her, it would be that she’s made everyone else also want to be her soul sister.
In fact, there was a silent, but bloody conflict to decide who would be Onee-sama’s true soul sister. In the end, it was decided that we would form the secret society, Soul Sisters, and keep watch over Onee-sama from the shadows.
Our organization’s present objective is to somehow snatch the position of Onee-sama’s personal maid away from Nia.
There is no doubt in my mind that that vulgar girl thinks herself Onee- sama’s closest confidant.
How presumptuous of her. Though I must admit, I am jealous.
By the way, Onee-sama has a single best friend. Her name is Kaori Shirasaki. Us Soul Sisters have fallen in love with Kaori-sama. She treats everyone with kindness, no matter who they are.
For some reason, Kaori-sama is infatuated with a fellow hero (if he can even be called that, LOL) Hajime Nagumo. She tries to woo him every chance she gets. Naturally, this means Onee-sama inevitably comes into contact with Hajime-sama quite often as well.
How much of Onee-sama’s precious time will he take up before he’s satisfied? It appears she seems to be more interested in him than she is in any other man, too. I cannot for the life of me understand it. All he can do is make things out of rocks… Of more important note is the self-styled hero, Kouki Amanogawa. He is quite close to Onee-sama, and everyone agrees that they would make for a good couple. For his impertinence, I cursed him with dark magic to always sneeze at the most inopportune moments.
Captain Kuzeli discovered that I had done so and punished me with a beating. How did she find out?
This is heartbreaking. Onee-sama has gone to train in the Great Orcus Labyrinth.
She is no longer here. All of us Soul Sisters have been reduced to walking corpses.
Great news! Onee-sama has returned from the labyrinth.
Well, it’s not all great news, sadly. Hajime-sama has perished in the labyrinth. Kaori-sama suffered such a shock that she is still unconscious even now.
Onee-sama refuses to leave Kaori-sama’s side. Though she is maintaining her composure, it hurts to look at her when she’s like this.
She is worried about Kaori-sama, of course, but it seems Hajime- sama’s death is weighing heavily on her mind as well.
Onee-sama has recovered a little now that Kaori-sama regained consciousness. However… I’ve come to realize that I have misjudged Onee-sama.
I had believed she was an unshakable rock, someone that couldn’t be hurt no matter what happened. A true angel sent to us by God. However, that isn’t the case.
In truth, Onee-sama is a girl like anyone else. She gets hurt, she cries, and she mourns like any other person.
It’s because I’ve been watching her all this time that I know. Though she’s putting up a strong front for Kaori-sama, Onee-sama is hurting just as much as she is.
But unlike Kaori-sama, Onee-sama wasn’t in love with Hajime-sama. Her pain stems from a much simpler emotion. Regret that she could not save her friend’s life, and the fear that she might be next. It is clear that these, and other worries, have been tormenting our poor Onee-sama.
And yet, it’s only us Soul Sisters who’ve realized this.
Naturally, we cannot leave her like this. And so, we shall formulate a plan to cheer her up.
First, all of us shall present Onee-sama with gifts.
I pray that our burning love reaches Onee-sama! She smiled when we gave her our presents, so I would like to believe that we eased her sorrow a little.
“Wh-Why are all of you calling me Onee-sama? I don’t even recognize some of you! When did your group get this big!?” I recall her grimacing a little when she said that, but I do not think she was actually displeased.
Onee-sama has completely recovered. As proof, she was able to defeat the Behemoth that had halted their progress before, and reach a level of the labyrinth no one else has before.
Onee-sama truly is amazing.
A messenger from the empire arrived, so Onee-sama returned from the labyrinth.
It would be remiss of me not to mention the events that transpired.
The emperor himself challenged our self-styled hero to a match in order to test his strength. I don’t care if this hero’s her childhood friend or what, he has no right to be so close to Onee-sama. It pisses me off that everyone thinks they should be a couple, and that he acts like they should too. I know this is petty of me, but I was so glad to see the emperor beat the hero to a pulp. What I didn’t foresee happening though, was that damned emperor proposing to our Onee- sama! How dare he!?
Naturally, as the representative of the Soul Sisters, I immediately cursed him with dark magic that made his toes unbearably itchy.
Onee-sama thought he had athlete’s foot and cringed away from him! Somehow, Captain Kuzeli found out and beat me senseless again.
“Are you trying to start a war or something, you moron!?” She had yelled when she found out.
Of course, my response had been the obvious one.
“If it was for Onee-sama, I’d pick a fight with the whole world!” After that, I’d given a very impressive salute.
I can’t seem to remember what happened after, my memories appear to be fuzzy.
I suspect I was beaten unconscious by Captain Kuzeli.
I vaguely recall Captain Kuzeli muttering something odd.
“She’s beyond helping now,” I thought I heard, as I faded into unconsciousness. I’m probably recalling incorrectly, however.
More importantly, Onee-sama totally turned the emperor down!
Serves you right, you smelly emperor! I must say, Onee-sama looked so impressive when she faced him down without flinching.
After all, objectively speaking, any normal girl would have been overjoyed to marry into royalty. Especially since the emperor’s actually rather handsome.
In fact, I’m a little worried about Onee-sama’s tastes in men if she didn’t find him attractive.
Don’t tell me, she really does have the hots for the hero… If it turns out that really is the case, I will have to unleash my inner wrath.
Worried, I brought up the topic the next time I saw Onee-sama. “Onee-sama. What kind of guy is your type?”
“Can you please stop calling me Onee-sama? Also, could you maybe not sit so close to me? I can feel your breath on my face. Please get away from me.”
“Don’t tell me you’re into guys like that hero? (lol)”
“Please don’t make fun of my friends. Also, shouldn’t you be guarding Lily right now? If Kuzeli-san finds you here she’ll throw a fit, you know that? So get—”
“Who cares about the princess. What matters right now is your preferences, Onee-sama.”
“How could you say that!? You’re part of the royal guard! Also you’re really creeping me out right now! Someone, help! Kaori! Nia! Meld-saaan! Someone save me!”
“Fear not, no one will interrupt us. The Soul Sisters have cleared the area of people. Now tell me. Don’t worry, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I’m plenty scared right now!”
“I won’t leave until you answer my question. I’ll follow you to the labyrinth, and even to bed if I must.”
“How come you’re emphasizing my bed more than anything!? Fine, fine, I’ll tell you, so just stop! Hey, where do you think you’re touching!?” It’s quite rare to see Onee-sama making such a tearful face. I know I won’t forget that expression for the rest of my life.
At any rate, Onee-sama had been backed up to the wall, and was trembling for some reason. Probably embarrassment for having to divulge her tastes. Oh, Onee-sama, you’re so cute.
I love how she stopped using polite speech at the end there too. She clearly thinks of me as a close sister, instead of a distant acquaintance now.
For some reason, Onee-sama gave my question serious thought. She was trembling the whole time too.
“H-Hmm… I guess I’d like someone who could protect me.” So that’s Onee-sama’s tastes.
I must say, I’m quite surprised. Though in retrospect, perhaps I should have expected it.
She blushed in embarrassment, and for a moment she looked not like a great hero, or a master swordsman, but just like any other normal girl.
Unfortunately, Onee-sama is one of the strongest people alive. A few people think she might be even stronger than our resident hero (lol).
I doubt even the emperor or Captain Meld could defeat Onee-sama if she was serious. In other words, no man strong enough to protect Onee-sama exists.
“I see. So you have no interest in men at all! That’s wonderful.”
“What on earth made you think that!? Also, wait, you have a really serious nosebleed! I think you need to get that checked out!”
After that, Onee-sama carried me princess-style to the infirmary. The experience was so euphoric that I passed out. Though that might have been the blood loss. The nurse told me I’d almost died, but I think it was worth putting my life on the line for the information I gathered.
I can say with confidence that Onee-sama has no interest in men. She prefers women.
Devastating news. Onee-sama will be returning to the Great Orcus Labyrinth.
The lamentations of the Soul Sisters could be heard throughout the capital on the day of her departure.
Great news. Onee-sama will be returning again.
Kaori-sama wasn’t with Onee-sama when she returned.
It’s obvious that Onee-sama misses her. The fact that her ponytail is drooping is proof.
I must comfort her without a moment’s delay!
For some reason, Onee-sama tried to flee from me. However, I was able to finally catch up to her. I may slack on occasion, but I’m still part of the royal guard.
“I wish you’d show some of that enthusiasm when you’re actually guarding Lily.” Despite her loneliness, Onee-sama is still worrying about the princess. How kind of her.
Upon talking more with her, I’ve come to discover a shocking fact.
Hajime-sama is actually alive. On top of that, he’s become unbelievably strong. I can’t imagine that boot-licking boy is actually that powerful now.
Apparently, he defeated a bunch of monsters and a demon that not even Onee-sama could stand up to. On top of that, he saved her from certain death… Good going, Hajime-sama. Anyone who protects our beloved Onee-sama deserves my praise.
“Shouldn’t you care about how strong those monsters were, or how a demon got here, or something?” What are you saying, Onee-sama? There’s nothing in the world more important than your safety.
Onee-sama was so nonplussed that she was almost impressed by my persistence. I took that opportunity to ask her for more details on what had transpired.
Upon doing so, I discovered some interesting things.
“I was really surprised back then. Can you believe it? He drilled straight through the labyrinth’s ceiling to get to us. I think he called his weapon a pile bunker. I’m not quite sure what it is, but it looked like a massive stake, and it crushed one of the strongest monsters in one hit! It actually looked rather pretty with all the red sparks shooting off its sides… Oh yeah, what do you think was the first thing Nagumo-koon said when he came down to save us? ’I see you two are as inseparable as always.’ Couldn’t he have said something more fitting? Oh yeah, and he didn’t look worried at all about all the monsters surrounding him. Turns out, that was because they weren’t any trouble for him. It was ridiculous. He pulled out railguns and all these other crazy weapons you only see in sci-fi stories that he’d all made himself and–” Onee-sama talked nonstop about Hajime-sama. Even though I have a photographic memory when it comes to things involving Onee-sama, I wasn’t able to remember the entire conversation.
I do remember that her eyes were sparkling as she spoke, though. She must have been very excited.
I’d never seen Onee-sama like this before. It was as if she’d met the hero of her dreams and— Allow me to digress for a moment. The whole time Onee-sama was talking, there was this strange black sword sitting on her lap. I’d never seen that weapon before.
Since she would have gone on forever if I hadn’t stopped her, I interrupted her story and asked about the sword.
Can you believe her response?
“Oh this? I… got it from Nagumo-koon, actually. He said I’d need a new weapon since my old one broke. I really owe him a lot. Did you know, my style of swordsmanship actually works better with curved blades like this. They call these katanas back in my world. I’m extremely grateful he made this for me. Oh and, can you believe it? He said it would cut really well, but that was an understatement. It’s like it’s enchanted or something with how easily it can slice through anything. On top of that, it’s balanced perfectly, and it’s just the right weight. It feels like the katana was made just for me! It’s unbelievable! And the craftsmanship is amazing! You get what I mean!? Oh and, Nagumo-koon also said—” That settles it. I’m going to kill Hajime-sama. I can’t let that bastard live.
I swear here that I will end his life no matter what it takes. I mean, can you blame me? Onee-sama was talking about Hajime-sama nonstop, and she was hugging the sword he’d given her the whole time. I was honestly worried she’d start blushing and cupping her cheeks.
It was obvious how happy she was.
For my own sanity, I convinced myself that her happiness stemmed from how good the sword was, not the fact that Hajime-sama was the one who’d given it to her. That absolutely, positively, surely, must have been the case. Still, Hajime-sama deserves to be cursed for what he’s done.
It’s time to gather, my Soul Sisters. Our foe this time is stronger than any we’ve faced.
After that, the palace started to grow strange, and I was suddenly called back home. My father is actually an earl, and our estate lies northwest of the capital. Anyway, it seemed my grandfather had passed away.
To be honest, I didn’t want to leave Onee-sama’s side, but my older brother, who was also an officer in the army, drugged me and carted me back against my will. I can’t believe I was so careless. I’ll never forgive you for this, brother.
I’ve finally returned to the capital.
I can’t believe what happened in my absence. The beautiful grassy plain that lay in front of the capital has become a charred wasteland. The city’s walls are crumbling and full of holes. Even the training grounds within the palace look like they’ve seen a fight.
Oh, and the king’s dead.
Captain Meld and a lot of my comrades are dead as well. What in Ehit’s name happened here?
When we were given a report on what happened my brother groaned and fainted. At any rate, it turns out Onee-sama’s safe. That’s all that matters.
It’s time to use my Onee-sama locating magic and jump into her arms. “Onee-sama! Aaah, Onee-sama! Thank goodness you’re safe!”
“Where’ve you been this whole… Oh yeah, you went back home before the attack happened, didn’t you? Or something like that? I’m glad you didn’t get mixed up in the fighting.”
Onee-sama’s words filled me with such joy that I feared my heart might burst. It sounded almost as if she’d forgotten about me, but I wasn’t too worried about that. Us Soul Sisters don’t sweat the small details.
Onee-sama told me what had happened.
Demons invaded the capital. Eri-sama betrayed everyone. Many people died. Hajime-sama came back. He fell from the sky like before. Kaori-sama’s in critical condition. Quite a bit happened while I was gone it seems.
Regardless, now I know my enemy’s face. It turns out he’s the white- haired kid.
He looks so different from his old self that I hadn’t even realized that was Hajime-sama.
Time to die, my mortal foe. Let’s start by using dark magic to curse him with explosive diarrhea.
Hehe, I’ve been planning this for a long time now, and I’ve already made sure to hide all the toilet paper in all the bathrooms. I also know this curse works because I tested it on one of those disgusting boys who’s always leering at Onee-sama. He thought it was food poisoning, but it was actually my curse. I’d made sure to steal all the toilet paper in the bathrooms around the dining hall too. It turned into a pretty big incident, but now’s not the time to dwell on that.
Now, suffer in shame and embarrassment before my beloved Onee- sama!
Actually, forget it. I think I won’t go through with it after all. After all, Hajime-sama was the one who saved Onee-sama’s life.
You did good, Hajime-sama. I’ll let you go, just this once. I’m definitely not giving up because I’m scared of that golden-haired beauty who’s always hanging around him. True, she always seems to be looking right at me the moment I’m about to cast any spell, and sure her crimson eyes are a terror to behold, but she hasn’t cowed me!
Actually, what is it with Hajime-sama’s group anyway? Kaori-sama’s become pretty weird now too, and the rest of his party are all crazy strong monsters. I can feel, like, this aura of intimidation coming off of them.
Oh, and all of his comrades are really hot girls. Well, Onee-sama’s still better looking.
Anyway, it looks like all of those hot girls are in love with Hajime- sama.
I can’t believe they’re flirting when the capital’s in such dire straits. I wish they’d act more like Onee-sama. Every time I see Onee-sama, she’s always so composed. I don’t think she’d ever be caught dead—
……
……
……
Wait a second. Is Onee-sama…
Before I knew it, she’s started hanging around Hajime-sama.
Before I knew it, her gaze is always fixed on him when he’s in the room.
Why is that she looks so happy when he teases her? Why is that she looks so lonely when other girls are fawning over him? No, surely I must be jumping to conclusions.
Surely her attention is really focused on Kaori-sama, who always happens to be next to Hajime-sama. She’s not following Hajime-sama around, but rather Kaori-sama. And the reason she looks so lonely is because she’s sad he took her best friend from her.
That has to be it.
Here, I’ll prove it.
“Onee-sama. Could it be that you have a crush on Hajime-sama?” I asked her that straight-up when I got the chance.
“What are you talking about? Of course I don’t.” She looked at me blankly when she replied. She wasn’t flustered, and she didn’t blush at all, she just said that without any hesitation.
I knew you were better than that, Onee-sama! You won’t fall for a guy that easily! Even though I should be relieved, how come I feel like drowning my sorrows in alcohol? In the end, I ended up drinking myself to sleep that night.
Terrible news. Onee-sama’s going to be traveling with Hajime-sama.
Apparently, so will the princess. But even though I’m part of her guard, I’m being left behind.
Why? Why cruel world? What have I ever done? This reeks of a conspiracy.
“You’ve neglected your duty far too often, so I’m removing you from the royal guards. Train yourself from the ground up, you stupid moron.” Kuzeli, the new knight commander of the kingdom, was telling me something, but I didn’t pay any attention to her.
I can’t believe Onee-sama’s going to be leaving together with that man.
This is the worst day of my life! All I can do now is pray.
Onee-sama. Please don’t let that man protect you any more than he already has.
Remember that the Soul Sisters will always believe in you!
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
BONUS SHORT STORIES.
HOW TO USE SPATIAL MAGIC.
“Okay everyone, it’s time for my special magic lessons.” Yue raised her pointer with one hand while adjusting her glasses using the other. Shea, Tio, Kaori, and Hajime all sat cross-legged in front of her. They were currently in one of the rooms in Ankaji’s palace. As thanks for purifying the oasis, Duke Zengen had given Hajime and the others free reign of the palace. They could stay whenever they wished.
“Yue, while I’m glad you are willing to teach us, you do realize neither me nor Kaori can use spatial magic, correct?”
“I’m sure there’s still some benefit to learning… By the way, Yue, what’s that large crystal for?”
Yue had basically dragged Tio and Kaori to the lesson, and they were still a little confused as to what they were even supposed to be doing, as well as what the strange round crystal Yue had brought was for.
“Mmm, a good question. This crystal is an artifact Hajime developed. It can record what it sees.”
Everyone turned to Hajime, who proudly explained how he’d used restoration magic to create a video recording device. He’d gotten the idea from seeing how Melusine had used it to reproduce events from the past as illusions, and enchanted the crystal with a similar spell.
“I used this wonderful artifact to record tips on how to use various spatial magic spells. It’s a very useful item. I love you, Hajime.”
“Please stop throwing in ‘I love you, Hajime’ in the middle of conversations like that, Yue-san. That doesn’t even follow logically.”
“I love you too, Yue. Glad to have been of service.”
“Alright alright, we know you two flirt every chance you get. Can we just get on with the lesson?”
Hajime and Yue entwined their hands and looked passionately into each other’s eyes. Pouting, Shea voiced her displeasure as her bunny ears flopped back and forth. Unable to watch any longer, Kaori charged in and physically separated the two of them. Ever since the events at the Sunken Ruins of Melusine, Kaori had grown even bolder than before.
“Mmm. Okay, time to show everyone how to use spatial magic. This video will explain the different uses of spatial magic and the most efficient ways to use it. Since we all fight together, I think it’s important everyone understands how it works.”
“I understand now. This will indeed make for a good reference, then.” Tio nodded in understanding, and the crystal began to glow.
“Wait, is that one of the palace hallways?”
Shea’s bunny ears perked up as she asked that. Hajime and the others nodded. The video did indeed show Yue standing in one of the palace’s hallways. From the looks of it, Yue was peeking at something from behind the corner. When she spotted Kaori walking down the corridor, Yue started gathering mana around her, making her hair float up a little.
“Wait, that was you!?” Kaori shouted. A second later, the Kaori in the video smacked her forehead into an invisible wall and staggered backward in pain.
“Here is a standard example of a barrier created by spatial magic. The main advantage to a spatial barrier is that you can make it invisible, as seen here.”
“Don’t sound so proud about it! So it really was you who did that!? How could you!?”
In the video, Kaori got back up and started feeling out the invisible wall, her confusion evident. It looked almost like she was pantomiming. Past the corner, Yue was snickering to herself. The real Kaori was boiling with anger and looked ready to throw herself at Yue.
“Hmph, that’s your punishment for feeding Hajime the fruit I’d specially prepared for him and pretending like it was from you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Besides, even if that was true, it’s a certain vampire’s fault for feeding me misinformation about what fruit Hajime really does like. I’m sure it was justified.”
“Curse you. Fine, if that’s how you want to play, I won’t hold back.”
Kaori whistled innocently, or well, attempted to whistle, while Yue glared daggers at her. Shea and Tio exchanged a worried glance while Hajime muttered something.
“So those fruits were actually from Yue…”
The video continued playing, this time switching to a scene of Yue walking down the corridor. She appeared to be trying to move stealthily, and she stopped in front of a certain door. Golden mana swirled around her, and her hair fluttered in the artificial breeze.
“Wait, isn’t this…” Kaori recognized that door, but before she could finish her sentence the Yue in the video finished her spell. A forty- centimeter wide portal of light appeared in front of her and she stuck her head through it without hesitation. A second later—
“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!?”
Kaori, who was sitting next to Hajime, screamed like a banshee.
Back in the video, Yue was peeking in on Kaori, who was crouching down after having just removed her underwear. Kaori moved faster than light, and delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to the crystal, which shattered. Even Hajime was captivated by her graceful and accurate movements. Unfortunately, the crystal had been demolished beyond repair.
“Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” “Hm!? You wanna fight!?”
Kaori leaped at Yue, moving so fast she left afterimages in her wake. She was using body strengthening on a scale even greater than what Shea, the overpowered bunny girl, was capable of.
“Wait, was that the bathroom Kaori was…”
“Hajime-san, there are some things you shouldn’t say. You’ll just hurt Kaori-san’s dignity. Also, Yue-san, you do some really mean things sometimes…”
“I know Yue and Kaori have been growing ever more belligerent toward each other, but even I think this is going too far…”
Shea flattened her bunny ears in terror while Tio slowly backed away from Yue. Hajime smiled bitterly as he watched Yue and Kaori’s catfight.
“I imagine Yue just wanted to get back at her. A few days ago, Kaori tried on Yue’s underwear in front of me and said ‘I knew it, the chest area’s too tight! Are you sure you didn’t accidentally get a kid’s bra!?’ with a smile.”
Shea and Tio gasped. Just how badly do those two hate each other? they thought to themselves. Yue was skilled enough with magic that she should have been able to blow Kaori off with ease, but she’d purposely chosen to engage her in a fistfight. It was strange to see either of them so heated up. Yue was normally so cool and composed, while Kaori was overflowing with compassion for everyone she interacted with. Yet right now they were snarling and growling at each other.
“You know, I think the two of them actually get along really well,” Hajime said with a smile. Shea and Tio exchanged glances. It certainly was rare to see either Yue or Kaori express these kinds of emotions.
“You might have a point.”
“Indeed.”
The two of them smiled as well.
“Yueee! Today’s the day I end you for good, you damn perverted vampire!”
“Kaoriii. It’s time you learned your place, you sneaky lecher!”
They certainly did seem like good friends. Probably. Hajime hoped, anyway.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
ARIFURETA ACADEMY 5: SPORTS TOURNAMENT.
A few days before the academy sports tournament, a certain rumor started to spread. Supposedly, if someone managed to win every event, the chairwoman would grant any one wish of theirs.
It appeared a certain magic teacher wanted to be transferred into the health department and made into one student’s exclusive nurse.
A certain student wanted to get a certain teacher fired.
A certain other student wanted a special class made for just her and her crush.
A certain chairwoman wished for a certain boy to become her master. A certain student council president wanted leave to quit.
It seemed quite a few people wanted to have their wishes granted. Most of the students had misgivings about the upcoming sports tournament, but the march of time was relentless. Soon enough, the dreaded day had arrived.
“Sensei! We’ve got three more here! All fractured ribs!” “Give me a second! I’ll get to them as soon as I can!”
“Sensei, Kudeta-sensei, the referee, has been knocked unconscious. His wounds look serious! He took an iron ball to the testicles, and he’s foaming at the mouth! He needs urgent care!”
“Take him to the hospital, then! There are carriages waiting outside!”
The poor nurse, whose position a certain vampire was after, tried to sort through the chaos. The infirmary had reached full capacity, and a number of students had been forced to receive treatment in the hallway. Though all of the members of the health committee were casting healing magic as fast as humanly possible, they weren’t able to keep up with the number of incoming patients. The infirmary looked more like a field hospital than a proper facility. The poor school nurse, a young woman who’d just recently married and was being threatened by a fellow teacher to hurry up and go on maternity leave, finally got fed up at the constant stream of injured people flowing in.
“Sheesh, what the heck is going on out there?”
She yelled, her hair splaying wildly about her. The poor nurse, who was unfairly hated by a fellow coworker, was unaware of the madness going on outside. It was turning out to be a very lively sports tournament, just not quite in the way people had hoped.
Over at the dodgeball field—
“Take thiiiiiiiiiiiis!” Ryutarou threw a ball as hard as he could toward the opposing court.
“Ngh!” Shizuku, the student council president, used a volleyball receive to lessen the force of Ryutarou’s fastball and just barely managed to catch it.
“Tch, I knew you’d be the biggest problem, Shizuku…”
“You almost had her, Ryutarou-koon,” Kaori said cheerfully. Ryutarou and Kaori were the only two people left on their side of the court. Meanwhile, Shizuku’s team still had four people, including her. The fact that Shizuku could receive even his best throw put Ryutarou in a tight spot. Kaori was sadly useless at both catching and throwing. Though he didn’t want to admit it, it appeared the student council team would win the dodgeball match.
“Sorry, but I really want to live a stress-free school life. I don’t know if those rumors are true or not, but I’ll crush anyone who gets in the way of me quitting the student council!”
The other students gave her sympathetic looks. Working on the council really was that grueling. Shizuku passed the ball to an outfielder. Ryutarou wasn’t sure if she was trying to catch him off- guard with an unexpected tactic, or just trying to finish Kaori off first.
“Goddammit! You keep buzzing about like an annoying fly!”
Shizuku’s teammates kept passing to each other at dizzying speeds, confusing Ryutarou’s senses. His movements grew rough, and the moment he let his guard down—
“Shit!” “You’re mine!”
Shizuku’s teammate threw the ball straight at Kaori. Because of the constant passes, Ryutarou had been lured away from her and wouldn’t be able to get back to her in time. The ball hadn’t been thrown with as much force as Ryutarou’s fastball, but it wasn’t something Kaori could handle.
“Stooooooooooooooop!” Ryutarou’s scream echoed throughout the court. A second later—
“Ryutarou-koon Barrier!”
“Uwoooh!?”
Time ground to a halt. Ryutarou, who should have been too far away, suddenly flew in front of Kaori and took the ball with his face. Kaori had bound him with her chains and used him as a shield. Devoid of force, the ball slowly slipped to the ground. Kaori easily caught it before it did, and then threw it lightly up into the air.
“Take this, Ryutarou-koon Hammer!” “Gwah!?”
Kaori swung Ryutarou into the ball, using him as a literal hammer. His eyes rolled back into his head as his forehead connected solidly with the ball. Kaori’s superball hit Atsushi Tamai, one of Shizuku’s teammates, right in the stomach.
“Gaaah!?” He screamed, and flew a good ten meters backward. He came to a stop outside the court and lay still.
“I’m just getting started!” “You monster!”
Kaori Shirasaki was the kind of girl who did whatever it took to get what she wanted. I’ll get that vixen fired no matter what it takes! If I have to sacrifice a few my friends along the way, so be it!
In truth, the person Ryutarou had been screaming stop to wasn’t the people on Shizuku’s team, but Kaori. It was a wonder he’d made it to the finals in one piece.
Meanwhile, over at the soccer field—
“Shit, someone, anyone, stop her!” Kouki screamed desperately as Shea dribbled her way past his team, her bunny ears fluttering in the wind. Saitou, one of Kouki’s teammates, did his absolute best to try and snatch the ball away from her. However, Shea’s keen sense of hearing alerted her to his movements, and to the fact that two other people were circling behind her. Even if she dodged the first, the second might still be able to take the ball from her, so she sent the ground flying at them.
“Outta my waaaaaaaaaaaay!” “Gyaaaaaah!”
Shea stomped hard onto the ground in front of her, pulverizing it and sending clods of earth and pebbles flying at Saitou. He screamed in pain and staggered backward while the ball soared over his head. The earth wave hit Nakano and Kondou, who were coming in behind Saitou, as well. Both of them screamed, “My eyes! I can’t see!” as rocks pelted their faces.
“R-Referee, that was an illegal move!” Despite Kouki’s protests, the referee just looked away. As this was a magical school, using magic was allowed, to a limited extent. For example, the goalie could erect barriers to block the ball, and strikers could manipulate the wind to shift a ball’s trajectory, so strengthening yourself enough to kick up a chunk of earth was technically within the rules as well. That meant something like Shea accidentally kicking the Azantium-filled ball into the previous referee’s testicles despite his continued attempts to warn Shea not to be too rough were still technically not illegal moves.
Shea ran all the way up to the goal and shot the ball so hard she kicked up gravel in her wake. It sailed straight into the net and netted her team their tenth point. Suzu, the goalkeeper, was huddling in a corner of the goal with a barrier around herself to protect her. When Shea made her shot, she didn’t even try to block it. In fact, she just tried to make her already tiny body seem even smaller.
“Yahooooooooooooooo!”
Shea raised both hands into the air and bellowed a victory cry. Shea was the kind of girl who would trample down anyone in her path for the sake of her goals.
Meanwhile, at the tennis court— “Bwah!?”
The chairwoman flew across the tennis court. She traced an arc through the air and crashed into the ground a few meters away, a tennis ball stuck firmly in her cheek. She slowly stumbled to her feet, legs twitching. Even for the sturdiest person in school, that had been quite a blow.
“Y-Yue-sensei, while I understand magic is allowed, I do not think using gravity magic on the ball is fair…”
“The ball was in.”
Yue was facing Tio in the final match of the tennis tournament. For the past few minutes, the ball had been bouncing in ways that made it clear it was ignoring gravity, and also inexplicably hitting Tio in her vitals every time. Though Yue looked absolutely stunning in her tennis uniform, no one had the guts to look at her. Nor did anyone have the guts to complain about a teacher and the chairman playing in a tournament that was meant for the students. None of them wanted to be hospitalized after all. Anyone who’d raised a complaint, whether they’d been on the court or just one of the spectators, had been sent to the infirmary by Yue’s gravity shot.
“Very well, if you refuse to adhere to the spirit of the rules, then I see no reason to either! Breath Shot!”
“Ultimate Technique— Gate Return.”
“Wait, that really is against the ru— Bwaaah!?”
The blazing tennis ball vanished through the portal in front of Yue’s hand and slammed straight into Tio’s back. Tio skidded across the court and came to a stop right before the net. This time, she didn’t get back up.
“The ball’s still in.” Yue glared coldly at the referee. As far as she was concerned, it was fair play so long as the ball remained in. The referee was too terrified to argue back, and so judged in her favor. Yue was the kind of girl who would stoop to anything if it meant she would get to be the school nurse.
Meanwhile, at the table tennis room—
The click-clack of a ping pong ball hitting the table echoed over and over.
“You’re pretty good, Endou.”
“You think so? Hehe, truth is I actually practice quite a bit.” “I see.”
Click-clack, click-clack.
“Table tennis sure is fun.”
“Yeah.”
Hajime and Endou conversed normally.
Click-clack, click-clack.
They continued playing a peaceful, normal game of table tennis.
In the end, the sports tournament had to be canceled because there were too many injuries.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
THE RED FLOWER OF FATE.
“Oh? You still have this, Yue-san?”
Hajime and the others were in the middle of packing their belongings, as they’d be leaving Ankaji soon. Yue stopped in the middle of her packing and turned to Shea, who was holding a pair of bunny ears in her hands. Tio and Kaori looked over as well, and almost dropped their luggage in shock.
“What!? Sh-Shea, were your rabbit ears detachable?” “D-Do they regrow if you take them off?”
“Of course not, guys. Quit turning my ears into something weird. These are fake rabbit ears Yue-san made a while back.”
Shea flopped her bunny ears back and forth to emphasize the difference between the real and the fake ones as she handed the bunny ear headband to Kaori. Kaori turned it over in her hands and nodded in understanding.
“Mmm, I made those when I got jealous of Hajime staring at Shea’s rabbit ears all the time… Well, not like I need them anymore. I’ve already discovered that cat ears are superior.”
“I-I refuse to accept that, Yue-san! Hajime-san only liked them more that one time because you were wearing them. I’m sure if it came down to just a pair of rabbit ears or a pair of cat ears, rabbit ears would be superior!”
Yue took out her cat ears and put them on, as if to say, “You wanna go!?” Yue-nyan was ready to battle.
Shea made her rabbit ears shoot straight up, as if to say, “You wanna go!?” Regular Shea was ready to battle.
Tio absently watched the two of them fight over animal ear superiority and mused to herself.
“I see… So you were a connoisseur of animal ears, Master… Dragonmen have tails, but no special pairs of ears. Hmm, I suppose if I wish to appeal to you, I must throw away pride and don the ears of a cat… or rather, a dog. For that way you could insult me like the bitch I am… No wait, perhaps I should create a pair of pig ears if I truly wish to be belittled!” She turned toward Kaori, seeking a second opinion. Kaori didn’t hear, as she was too busy examining Yue’s fake rabbit ears. Though she seemed fascinated by them, she made no move to put them on. Instead, a wicked grin formed on her face as she continued staring at the ears. That expression scared Tio a little.
Worried that Kaori might do something that would ruin the gentle and kind impression Tio had of her, she called out to Kaori.
“Kaori, you must return to reality. Your expression is beginning to terrify me.”
“Huh!?” Kaori blushed as she realized how she must have looked. Shea and Yue stopped grappling with each other and glared suspiciously at her.
“Confess, you closeted pervert. What were you doing to my Hajime in your fantasies?”
“I’m not a closet pervert! A-And I wasn’t fantasizing or anything!” “Oh? What do you think, Shea-san, Tio-san?”
“She’s guilty!”
“All I shall say is that trying to deny it will only make things worse for you in the end.”
“Ugh…” Kaori’s shoulders slumped. Yue continued glaring at her, silently urging her to confess, while Kaori tried to look anywhere but at Yue.
“I was thinking that the rabbit ears might look good on Hajime- koon…”
The other girls all sat up straight, as if a jolt of electricity had just run through them.
“A rabbit-eared Hajime?” “He’d be matching with me…”
“Oh ho…” Yue closed her eyes and imagined what a rabbit-eared Hajime would look like.
“Welcome home, Lady Yue. Here, give me your hand.” A butler Hajime with rabbit ears helped Yue out of her carriage.
Shea closed her eyes and imagined what a rabbit-eared Hajime would look like.
“We’ll be together forever, dear.” A rabbit-eared Hajime looked lovingly at his new wife, Shea, surrounded by the splendor of a grand wedding feast.
Tio closed her eyes and imagined what a rabbit-eared Hajime would look like.
“You perverted waste of space! Hurry up and give me my boxers back!” A rabbit-eared Hajime was acting the same as usual and stepping on Tio.
Kaori closed her eyes and imagined what a rabbit-eared Hajime would look like.
“I’m sorry I’m always causing you so much trouble, Kaori… I don’t know what I’d do without you.” A rabbit-eared spy, Hajime, looked lovingly up at Kaori, who was nursing him back to health. He’d been betrayed by his partner, Yue, and Kaori had found him slumped in the streets on a rainy day and brought him back to her house.
For some reason, Kaori’s delusion was far more detailed than the others. Meanwhile, Tio’s didn’t even require Hajime to have rabbit ears at all. At any rate, a few minutes after everyone had sunk into the world of daydreams, bright-red showers of happiness began spurting from their noses.
“Hey, you four, have you finished packing your things…? Whoa, what the heck!? What happened!? Why do you all have nosebleeds!?”
Hajime hurried over to them, a mixture of confusion and worry on his face. However, despite the bloody spectacle, all four girls were smiling happily.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
LECHER, BRUTE, AND DEMON.
There was currently a strange guest staying in Duke Zengen’s palace in the oasis city of Ankaji.
“Munch, munch.”
“How is it, Myu? Does it taste good?”
Myu was blissfully stuffing herself with all of Ankaji’s best fruits. Airi, the duke’s daughter, watched Myu eat with a smile on her face. She was only fourteen, and still captivated by the antics of young children. Beastmen were generally shunned by humans and considered to be inferior creatures, but dagons had received special exemption from the Holy Church.
Still, it would normally have been unthinkable for one to be hosted in the royal palace. Especially as the duke’s own daughter was the one entertaining her. Under any other circumstances, Airi’s attendants would have stopped her from greeting Myu and reprimanded Myu for her insolence. Yet Airi’s attendants were also smiling as they watched Myu stuff her cheeks like a squirrel. They made no move to stop Airi from fussing over the dagon girl. Myu finished her current mouthful of fruit and turned to Airi.
“It’s really tasty! Thank you, Airi-oneechan!”
“Heh, don’t worry about it. You’re the precious daughter of the man who saved our city.”
Indeed, the reason Myu was receiving such favorable treatment was because her (surrogate) father had done their city a great service. Not only had he rid Ankaji of the monster that had been poisoning their oasis, he had risked life and limb to bring the citizens the stillstone they needed to fend off the poison they’d been drinking. He’d stayed behind in an erupting volcano and had still found a way to entrust Tio
the medicine and ensure it reached the people safely. As far as Ankaji’s residents were concerned, he was a hero. There was no way they could treat his beloved daughter with disrespect. Besides, she was just too cute to hate.
“Ehehe. You’re so nice, Airi-oneechan.”
Airi patted Myu’s head, her smile growing wider. “Hnnngh!”
“Airi-sama, while I understand how you feel, it is unbecoming for one of your stature to look so… childish. Please, at least wipe that drool from your face.”
“Hah!? Oh no… Myu’s so cute it’s scary.” Airi sucked her drool back in and wiped her face with a handkerchief. She went from looking like a pervert to a graceful lady in the span of a few seconds. Myu’s scariness wasn’t just in how cute she looked. She also acted cute, had a cute personality, and just basically exuded cuteness from every pore. Airi was the youngest child in her family, and she’d always wanted a little sibling, so whenever Myu called her “Airi-oneechan,” she basically lost it. Even Airi’s maids and the palace staff who interacted with Myu were enthralled by how adorable she was.
“Mmm… Daddy…” Myu’s face clouded over as she thought back to her adopted father, who was currently missing and presumed to be in grave danger. Airi mentally berated herself, convinced it was somehow her fault she’d made Myu think of Hajime. She hurriedly tried to cheer the little girl up.
“M-Myu? Umm… I’m sure Hajime-sama’s… well…”
The Grand Gruen Volcano hadn’t erupted in centuries, and the eruption this time had been so powerful that even the residents of Ankaji had been able to see it. Hajime had been in the volcano’s mouth when that had happened. Thinking about it logically, he should have been vaporized instantly. In fact, most people did believe their hero had perished valiantly. However, all of Hajime’s comrades believed without a doubt that he was still alive, and Duke Zengen had declared that he would not officially recognize his death. And so, though the people believed him dead, they held their tongues. Airi didn’t know what to say that would comfort Myu. Seeing her at a loss for words, Myu decided to comfort Airi instead.
“It’s okay. Everyone says Daddy’s the strongest in the world, so I’ll see him again. Daddy promised he’d come back… so don’t be sad, Airi-oneechan.”
“My… Myu!”
Myu patted Airi’s head with her tiny hand. Airi was moved to tears by the gesture. Even though Myu was probably the one most hurt over Hajime’s disappearance, she still was still trying to comfort others. What an unbelievably strong little girl. Airi hugged Myu tight, while her maids muttered things like “What a brave girl…” or “She’s an angel,” or “Myu-tan… Haaah… Haaah…”
“Myu, would you like to tell us about what kind of person your father, Hajime-sama, is?”
“You want to know about Daddy?”
“Yes. He saved you from an underground auction at Fuhren, right? I had heard you’d been kidnapped and were going to be sold off. I’d love to hear the heroic tale of how he saved you.”
Surely this girl, who has absolute faith in her father, would love to talk more about him. Airi’s guess was right on the mark. Myu’s eyes lit up at the prospect of talking about Hajime. Airi and her maids smiled, glad to see Myu happy again.
Just what kind of wonderful tale will Myu tell us?
“So when Daddy saved me, he made all of Fuhren burn!” “What!?”
“He made all the buildings go boooooom!”
“What!?”
“And then he made lightning fall from the sky!”
“What!?”
“Everyone said Daddy dyed Fuhren red!”
“……” None of them had been expecting a tale of death and destruction.
“Umm, ahem! Myu, I think you may have summarized your story a little too much. Could you please go into more detail for us?”
“Okay. It’s story time!” Myu cleared her throat and sat up straighter. Her seriousness made Airi and the others straighten their backs as well. They felt as though they’d be overwhelmed if they didn’t go in prepared.
“When I tried to run away, I had to go through this dirty place called a sooer.”
“Oh my… you really are amazing, Myu.”
Airi and the others gulped as they tried to imagine it. Just how bad must things have been if swimming through the sewers had been Myu’s only choice?
“Then, when I woke up, Daddy had taken my clothes off.” “He did what!?”
“It was really warm and felt good.”
“I-It felt good!?”
“Shea-oneechan was really nice to me.” “A-A threesome!?”
Though Myu wasn’t lying, she’d left out the crucial detail that Hajime had done all this to give her a bath. It was understandable that she’d skip ahead, given how young she was. Sadly, Myu’s abridged explanation had left Airi and the others imagining something very different than what had happened.
“Then Daddy left me.”
“He abandoned you!?”
Once again, Myu had forgotten to mention that he’d left her in the care of an organization which helped kidnapped children get back home.
“But then Daddy came back for me!” Airi and the others breathed a sigh of relief.
“He said, ‘how come you’re always soaked whenever I see you?’ and gave me a blanket because I had no clothes.”
Isn’t it your fault she’s always wet!? Airi and the others thought to themselves. Though Myu was giggling as she told her tale, Airi and the others couldn’t help but think that she’d been picked up by an absolute brute of a man. And the tales of his terrible exploits still weren’t over.
“Then, Daddy hugged me real tight… and blew up the heads of ten bad guys.”
“Don’t tell me he killed her real guardians…”
“I could believe it. Dagons are protected by law, I’m sure a man who goes around making them wet is someone they didn’t want her to be with.”
The misunderstandings continued to grow.
“Oh, he didn’t blow up one of them. He crushed them instead.”
“That’s enough.” One of the maids was already covering her ears. She couldn’t bear to hear anymore. Confused, Myu cut to the end of the story.
“Then, Daddy took Myu into the sky and made an… eggsample? Of everyone.”
“So that’s what you meant by ‘he dyed Fuhren red.’” Airi was trembling in terror. This was too much for a fourteen year old girl to take. It appeared their beloved hero had another side to him. One that took advantage of little girls, mercilessly killed her guardians, and slaughtered an entire city just to set an example. However, Airi was a nobleman’s daughter. She quickly recovered her wits and looked resolutely at her maids. They overcame their fear and returned her determined gaze. The lot of them swore that if he still lived, they would never let that man get near Myu.
The next day, Myu set off to look for her daddy. Airi and the others saw her off with tears in their eyes.
Ten days after that, Hajime, who had miraculously survived, returned to Ankaji. It seemed he’d done quite a bit more for the city, but that didn’t matter. Airi was going to give him a piece of her mind.
“You lecher! Brute! Demon!” “Wh-What the heck did I do!?”
Hajime’s face cramped up as he endured a barrage of insults from Airi and her maids.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
TRAGEDY IN THE CARRIAGE.
A gloomy atmosphere filled the carriage. The people sitting inside all exchanged glances, but then averted their gazes. They all wanted someone to do something about the problem at hand, but no one wanted to be the one to volunteer.
“Haaah…”
“……” A sigh heavier than a neutron star escaped Kouki’s lips. The other inhabitants of the carriage, Ryutarou, Shizuku, Eri, and Suzu, all twitched. Ryutarou shot an unexpectedly timid gaze at his best friend, who was the cause of the gloomy atmosphere.
He’s totally dead…
He’s not dead! Though he might as well be, with how he looks. Suzu somehow read Ryutarou’s thoughts, and retorted with a telepathic message of her own.
Indeed, Kouki was still alive, though he resembled a corpse at the moment. His head drooped on the windowsill. Though he was looking out at the vibrant countryside, his eyes took in none of the scenery.
There was none of his usual vitality in his dead expression. He might as well have been a zombie. There were a multitude of reasons for his languid demeanor, but the primary one was discovering that Kaori was in love, and had left his party to travel with her crush. Kouki wasn’t sure if he loved Kaori or not. However, he had expected that she would be by his side forever, no matter what happened. That was why Kaori’s confession and subsequent elopement had shocked him so.
Worse, he’d let his emotions get the better of him and challenged Hajime to a duel. Not only had Hajime not bothered to even humor
him, Kouki had ended up falling into a pitfall without even so much as scratching his opponent.
“I just want to crawl into a hole and die…”
“You already did the crawling into a hole part. Do you have any idea how hard it was to dig you out?” What Ryutarou had meant as a lighthearted joke was the final blow that crushed Kouki’s soul.
“Waaaaaah, Ryutarou-koon, you moron! Kouki-koon! Are you alright! Pull it together! Everything’ll be okay! Right, Eririn!?”
“Wait, you’re asking me!? U-Umm, yes, of course, everything will be just fine, Kouki-koon!” Their attempts at reassuring Kouki only made things worse How is anything going to be okay!? Kouki thought painfully to himself. He didn’t register Suzu smacking Ryutarou over the head, or Eri trying her best to comfort him, or Shizuku looking tiredly up at the ceiling. That was how bad his depression was.
Suddenly, with the determination of someone resolved to go to battle and never come back, Suzu stood up.
“I-I’ll give him a one-liner that’ll definitely make him laugh!”
The others looked over at Suzu in awe. What a hero! Suzu shrugged off their stares, and resolved to prove that she could cheer people up even in this gloomy atmosphere.
“Hmm, where did they go? I can’t find them! I could have sworn I took them with me on this trip, but they’re not here!” Suzu started patting her clothes and looking around the carriage. As always, Kouki was unable to ignore someone in need. He looked over at Suzu, momentarily returning to the real world.
“Suzu, what did you—“
“I just can’t seem to find my boobs!” Suzu said in an exaggerated manner, patting her own sadly flat chest. For a one-shot gag, it was pretty painful. Silence filled the carriage. Time itself stopped. The only thing anyone could hear was the soft clopping of the horse’s hooves.
“I’m sorry for being born.” Suzu slumped back into her seat. She leaned her head back against the carriage wall and stared at the ceiling with dead eyes. She’d completely self-destructed.
“H-Hey Suzu, are you alright?”
“Next up, please enjoy Ryutarou-koon’s attempt to do impersonations.”
“What!?” Ryutarou’s reward for his concern was being volunteered to be next up on the chopping block. If Suzu was going to die, she’d make sure to take everyone down with her. Eri backed away from her friend in horror. Ryutarou sat in his seat, cold sweat pouring down his back. But when Kouki once again looked out the window with dead eyes, he made up his mind and stood up.
“O-Okay, fine, I’ll do my best impression of Colonel William Stuart!” Ryutarou sucked in a deep breath and flexed, showing off the full glory of his considerable muscles. For those who didn’t know, Stuart was from a certain film known as Die Hard. Ryutarou got even more into his act and flexed even harder. However, it was not as well received as he would have liked.
“This is too macho for me.” “S-Sorry, I can’t bear to look.” “It hurts to breathe.”
Suzu, Eri, and Shizuku all glared at Ryutarou. It appeared his impersonation had brought the girls nothing but pain.
“I’m sorry for being born.” Ryutarou collapsed into his seat. He looked out the window with the same dead eyes as Kouki.
“Eririn… You’ll have to carry on our will.”
“Suzu!? I thought we were friends!” Eri shot Suzu, who was still gazing blankly at the ceiling, a murderous glare. She was asking for the impossible! However, it appeared Suzu and Ryutarou’s sacrifices hadn’t been in vain. Kouki finally turned around and focused on Eri. It seemed with one more push, they might really be able to bring the hero back to normal.
“Very well… I shall sing!” Eri raised her hands to her mouth, as if she were holding an imaginary mike, and began singing in a beautiful voice. Her pitch was perfect, and she had a great sense of rhythm. It was the kind of voice that enthralled people. Or it would have been, had she not picked one of the most depressing love songs known to man.
“Th-Thank you for being such a silent and attentive audience.”
They’d been silent alright. In fact, they were deathly pale. Despair, loneliness, and other negative emotions had sapped their mental fortitude. Kouki looked as if he’d aged ten years. Eri’s proud smile faded as she saw the effect her singing had wrought on her audience. She quietly plopped back into her seat and hid her expression behind her glasses. Things weren’t looking good.
“Shizushizu, you’re the only one left now,” Suzu mumbled in despair. Shizuku, who’d been desperately trying to hide her presence, jumped. Timidly, she raised her head to see everyone but Kouki staring at her. “You don’t think really you’re the only one who gets to get out of this, do you?” their gazes seemed to say. Tears pooling in her eyes, Shizuku got to her feet. She covered both of her eyes with her ponytail, and said in a high falsetto,
“Eh, Nagumo-koon did? I don’t believe it! He always seemed like a quiet, low profile kind of guy.”
“……”
It appeared Shizuku was acting out a fake interview with the other students.
“Nagumooo…” Kouki groaned. He had wanted to forget all about Hajime, but now he couldn’t.
Why the hell did you have to bring HIM up!? Suzu and the others glared at Shizuku. Trembling, Shizuku slumped to her knees and wrapped her arms around herself. Her ponytail was still covering her eyes. Now she was the one who wished she could crawl into a hole and die. In the end, nothing but corpses remained inside the carriage. The only thing that could be heard was the steady clopping of the horse.
A few hours later, the group stopped for a rest. Nagayama and the others got out of their respective carriages to stretch their limbs a little. When they noticed no one was coming out of Kouki’s carriage they grew curious.
“What happened to them?” Meld wondered aloud, and approached their carriage. Though he knocked on the door and called everyone’s names, no one came out. A little worried, Meld pulled open the door and peeked inside.
“Wh-What happened to you guys!? Why do you all look so dead!? Guards, guards! Kouki and the others need medical attention! Who’s the best healer here!?” Meld panicked and ran to find a healer.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
ARIFURETA FOLK TALES ~THE HONEST WOODCUTTER~.
One day, a woodcutter was cutting down trees near a certain spring. He had with him his trusty magic-powered azantium chainsaw. His chainsaw made a loud buzzing noise as it cut through trees like a hot knife through butter. With his trusty chainsaw, the young man could chop down anything he pleased, whether it be boulders or steel walls. A tool like this would be just as useful on a battlefield as it was in a forest. Anyone who wielded it would be able to mow down hordes of soldiers with ease. Swords, shields, and even plate armor would be unable to withstand its might.
As for why a mere woodcutter possessed such a powerful tool, well, it’s not important. Why he was still just a woodcutter despite having the ability to be far more was also not important.
With a resounding crash, one of the trees fell to the ground.
“Phew, looks like work went well today, too.” Today’s job was done. It had only taken the young man five minutes, but he still wiped a bead of imaginary sweat off his brow. Just then, he sensed something trying to kill him!
“Tch, die you worthless mutt!” He let loose a string of violent curses that one wouldn’t expect to hear from a village woodcutter. The young man then pulled loose an L-shaped piece of metal from his pocket and took aim. A second later, a streak of red light was set loose through the trees. There sure were a lot of things being set loose today.
The last thing to come loose was the head of the “mutt” he’d shot at, a wolf-like monster that had been hiding in a nearby thicket. The moment the streak of light hit its head, it blew clean off.
Still, there wasn’t just one wolf aiming for the young man’s life. He fired off a series of flashes that brutally obliterated the entire pack. The scene was gruesome enough that it should have been censored. The peaceful forest was dyed red with the blood of monsters.
“Tch, as always, all you’ve got on your side is numbers. Hm? Shit, the goods!” Until now, the young devil who’d been painting the forest red had been perfectly composed. However, he lost his cool when he noticed one of the wolves sneaking up to his precious goods.
By goods, he of course meant the splendid tree he’d just chopped down. The monster then heartlessly activated its special magic and shot a fireball at the tree. Even if the woodcutter slaughtered the monster now, his tree would be burnt beyond recognition. The woodcutter flung his L-shaped weapon to the side, raised his chainsaw in both hands, and charged toward the fireball.
“Like hell I’ll let you!” With a spirited cry, the woodcutter swung his chainsaw down and split the fireball in two. He then swung it back up, slicing right through the wolf’s stomach. Another red flower blossomed amidst the green trees.
“Phew, I made it… Oh yeah…” Once again wiping an imaginary bead of sweat off his brow, the woodcutter looked about for the weapon he’d thrown earlier. When his gaze passed over the spring, he noticed there were ripples in the previously still water.
“Crap! I can’t believe I threw it right into the spring!”
The woodcutter walked over to the edge of the spring. Seeing as he couldn’t find his weapon anywhere else, it was likely it had fallen in. He slumped his shoulders and sighed.
“Man, what do I do? Without that, it’ll take more time to annihilate monsters and thieves. God, what a pain.”
The spring was both wide and deep. Diving to the bottom to search for his weapon would take considerable time and effort.
“Maybe I should just throw a bunch of burning taur down there and vaporize the spring.”
The woodcutter muttered ominously. Taur burned at an impressive 3000 degrees Celsius, so it would certainly be possible. The spring suddenly began to sparkle, as if reacting to the woodcutter’s terrifying remarks. Surprised, the man turned on his chainsaw and got ready to fight. From within the spring’s depths, a person emerged.
“Wow…” The usually curt and cruel woodcutter gasped in wonder. That was just how beautiful the goddess who had emerged from the spring was. Nothing could match her splendor. Her golden-blonde hair sparkled in the sunlight. Her long eyelashes and deep crimson eyes captivated all who gazed upon her. Her porcelain-white skin was tinged with the faintest of blushes. She appeared to be no more than twelve or thirteen years old, but her passionate gaze and seductive smile made her seem much older. She was quite the captivating goddess. Her slender limbs peeked out from a pure white gown. When she spotted the woodcutter, the goddess crouched down in front of him. She then thrust both hands into the spring and pulled something out with each. The woodcutter had expected her to use magic, not something as mundane as her own two hands.
“Is this your crafty rabbit? Or is this your perverted priestess?”
The woodcutter didn’t know how to respond. The goddess had just pulled two people out of the spring. One had bunny ears growing out of her head, while the other was dressed in priestess robes. They were both soaked through and seemed rather miffed at being held up by their collars. From the sound of it, the goddess had plunged them into the spring against their will. It seemed this was a goddess who kidnapped people.
“Ugh. Hey you, mister with the chainsaw. Won’t you please pick this poor rabbit? If you do, I’ll devote these bunny ears to you for life!”
The woodcutter wasn’t quite sure what it meant to have bunny ears devoted to him, but he certainly was tempted. The bunny girl had an impressive bust size, and she made sure to emphasize it while pleading the young man.
I see now, she definitely is crafty.
“U-Umm, you over there! The guy who turned this peaceful forest into a battlefield, I mean. Do you think you could help me? If you pick me, I’ll do anything you ask!”
The woodcutter wasn’t sure what she was expecting him to ask of her, but he could tell by her blushing and fidgeting that it wasn’t anything wholesome. The priestess buried her face in her hands, but continued peeking coyly through her fingers at the woodcutter.
I see now, she’s definitely a pervert.
“I didn’t drop anything living into the spring, you know.”
“Huh!?”
The crafty bunny girl and perverted priestess looked at him in shock.
“Mmm… I suppose that’s understandable. We don’t need these, then.”
“Hey, don’t you think that’s a little rude!?”
“Y-You’re so mean, Ha—”
The goddess dumped both of them back into the spring. They didn’t come back up.
“Then, is this your—”
“Oh, is it my turn already? Very well, Master. Please insult—”
“Next.” The goddess dropped what she picked up before the woodcutter even had a good chance to look at it. From the quick glimpse he’d gotten, he assumed it was some strange creature. The goddess stuck her hand into the spring once more and fished around. After a while, it seemed she found what she was looking for and pulled her hand back out.
“Mmm… Is this your thirty-five centimeter long, taur-made, azantium-coated, Lightning Field-powered, six shot revolver capable of railgun-enhanced shots and named after the German word for thunder, aka Donner?”
What a frighteningly detailed description. It was hard to believe she’d seen it for the first time with how accurate it was. It was almost as if this goddess had been watching the woodcutter all this time.
The woodcutter’s expression stiffened. He was realizing, perhaps a little too late, that this goddess was dangerous. Chills ran down his spine, and he opened his mouth to say that it was indeed his. However, the goddess interrupted him before he could.
“Or…” She took her empty hand and placed it elegantly on her own chest.
“Is this your goddess?”
“Like I said, I didn’t drop anything living into that spring.” The woodcutter retorted. The goddess narrowed her eyes. That was the look of a hunter eyeing her prey.
“This is your goddess, isn’t it?” Now she was pushing herself onto the woodcutter. However, he wasn’t one to be swayed that easily.
“No, I dropped Donner into there. The gun you’re hiding behind your back. Please give it back to me. Hey, wait, don’t throw it away! What? I have to pick you if I want it back? Now you’re just blackmailing me!”
The goddess attempted to throw Donner back into the spring, tears in her eyes, while the woodcutter did everything in his power to stop her. Sounds of their life and death struggle resounded throughout the woods. In the end, their tale ended just how it was meant to according to folklore. For his honesty, the woodcutter received everything the goddess had offered him before. That, of course, meant he received both his revolver and a smiling goddess.
Diamond. diamond. diamond.
